‘She is an unrepentant drunkard, smoker’

• She has since grown to be an unrepentant smoker and drunkard. They know her in all the beer parlours in Iseyin here. She does not have respect for her marital status or the integrity of our children. The situation has forced me to chase her out, but now I want the dissolution to be formalised —Husband

For being an unrepentant drunkard and smoker, a middle-aged man, Kunle Isalu, has urged a Grade “C” Customary Court in Iseyin, Oyo state, to dissolve his 10-year marriage with his wife. The wife, Lara, with whom he already has four children, developed the bad habits over the years, following her bad friends. The children are eight, six, four and two respectively. While explaining his ordeal, he said: “Lara has always been a very good wife until of recent when she started keeping a bad company of friends. 

“The first day I came home from a month’s journey was when I first noticed that her mouth smelled of alcohol and cigarette. “She has since grown to be an unrepentant smoker and drunk; she now drinks at will to the extent that they know her in all the beer parlours in Iseyin here. “She does not even have respect for her marital status or the integrity of our children; the situation has forced me to chase her out, but now I want the dissolution to be formalized. 

“All our children are still with me and I’m sure they don’t want to go with her. I really can’t explain what the problem is. “We have summoned various family meetings to make her change, but all was to no avail. “I want her to drop my name after this dissolution, my lord.” The President of the court, Raimi Oyegbenle, while reacting to the appeal, expressed his displeasure with the woman’s absence in court, in spite of series of court summons. 

After serving a fresh summon on Lara, compelling her to appear in court on the next adjourned date, he adjourned further hearing on the matter

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Do men honestly fall in love?

Hmmm…most people es­pecially women act as if love or rather the act of falling in love is a gender thing. They behave as if men are heart­less or our heart is made of stone and we can’t feel anything. This is why this may be one of the most commonly asked questions by women of all ages. Do men hon­estly fall in love? For me, I do have a very different take on what love is and how individuals should act while being in love and what is not love, but for the sake of answering this question, I’ll use the word “Love” to mean roman­tic attraction and sexual chemis­try between a man and a woman though loving and being in love goes beyond romantic attraction and expression or sexual chemis­try with me.

What is funny is that the way both genders fall in love is differ­ent but a lot of women expects the stereotypical way that they know of by them as the only way to fall in love and anyone who doesn’t conform to that way can never know how to fall in love or what love truly means. Unknown to a majority of women, men fall in love at first sight even more frequently than women do. While within the first fifteen seconds of meeting someone for the very first time, a woman would have decid­ed sub-consciously if she will give a guy a chance for him to try to make her fall in love with him or not, in the same amount of time, a man will decide if he loves how a woman looks or not. It is based on his visual reassurances that a man will most likely unconscious­ly make his decisions of falling in love and it doesn’t take much con­viction unlike a woman who has to be proven to in so many ways to trust a man’s intentions. If a man is not physically attracted to you, trying to make him “fall in love” with you is really like trying to wake up a dead horse because you’ll only be seeing what you alone want to see and believe. And lest we forget, men don’t lie about that, they will always let you know they find you attractive and will be very plain and straight-forward too about it.

Most women believe because most men come out with the truth on how they fell in love with their partner it cannot be real love. But come to think of it, don’t we all love having a partner we can all show to our friends like prized gifts from God? It is really double standards on the part of women to say that because men’s loving starts from visuals, then it can’t be real love. I for one will not want to be with a woman who apart from intellectually stimulating my mind will not visually stimu­late my eyes. And yes I know that this may not be really fair to those women who may not be visually attractive to me. But the truth is that it’s because they weren’t vi­sually attractive to me in the first instance that made me not to fall in love with them or with every woman I see on the streets or I meet regularly. It is basically the same with women who will use emotional and present or future financial viability safety as an unconscious or conscious reason for falling in love with their part­ner. And let’s not delude ourselves here without being able to face the truth, every woman must either be sure of her man being able to satisfy her emotional, psychologi­cal or emotional needs before she can commit herself to that man.

In conclusion, a man will stay in love with a woman because of the way she makes him feel start­ing from what he saw. It’s differ­ent for each man, depending on his needs. A guy who feels good being in charge will respond to a more docile female, while a guy who hates making decisions will go for a bossy girl. If he needs to feel like crap, he’ll end up with a woman who will do him the favour of dealing him a load of it. Does he need to feel superior? He’ll hold out for the insecure mouse. It’s about how HE feels when he’s with her. But in all we really are not different. For if a man is get­ting his emotional needs met, a woman will look, sound, and smell like a queen. He won’t necessarily get what he deserves, but he’ll get what he needs, whether he realizes it or not. Relationships work when partners recognize the emotional forces that brought them together and are both willing to work on themselves and the union.

Not really -by: JACQUI IWU

What a question huh? While typing this top­ic i was tempeted to say ‘’NO’’ but i thought about it deeply and as i continue to type, i still feel a kind of whizzy about this sensi­tive question. Saying ‘yes’ either will not satisfy me seeing all the sil­ly games men play with women in the romance and marriage depart­ment of life. So do not box me into a corner to choose or else i will go for a ‘NO’. Am jinxed with this topic… aren’t i…..???? so what i will do here is just to spill exactly how i feel about the whole love stuff regard­ing our own present generation. Yea ..sure…you do not expect me to use the cave men generation to relate to this …afterall..i never met any of them huh? I am just going to use the generation i met in my own life time to deal with this brain hack of a question today. By the way, if you still feel strongly about this topic or my take on it, join our Saturday Breakfast meeting in Abuja and be part of our ‘’Meet-Greet’’ forum. Here you will have opportunity to share your opinion on a whole lot of issues like this one Let’s roll!!!!!!

Loving someone could be de­scribed in so many ways. Again people love for different reasons. Now focusing on men and asking if they really love honestly brings to the point of how men conduct themselves these days when they are attarcted to a woman. Most men actually cannot differenciate between crush/love/lust. How can you meet a woman today, in two days time you are talking of sleep­ing with her and having sex? What is this? In the process of your rant­ing, you will say- ‘’i love you’’ more than hundered times just to see if the woman will fall for your tricks. Yes, it is a trick because for you to actually love someone honestly, you must have to court/date that per­son to get to know her very well. Again i do not believe honest love is instant. Love at first sight? Crap!! Bullshit!!!! Maybe in the olden days but not these days as we talk! Hon­est love has a lot to do with apprea­ciating both the good and bad sides of a person so how can you meet a woman for the first time and you stupidly blurt out the words- i love you? You do not even know if she is a mermaid, a ghost for crying out loud…what do you know of some­one you just met for you to say…i love you? Like i said earlier, my an­swer for today’s topic keeps leading to a NO answer but for the sake of few men…just few men…. i will put in a fight for them. There are still some men but very-very few who can comfortably love a woman in all honesty. When you see and meet such men, you will be asking where they come from….if they are actu­ally humans or angels from heaven. These men are interested in having you around them and sharing life issues with you and you can hardly hear them bother or ask you for sex till after a long time they have been seeing you. They are concerned about your welfare and always will­ing to sacrifice to make you happy to their own detriment. The last thing they will do is to make you sad or fool you. Such men are evn afraid to kiss you or make stupid sexual moves in your early stag­es of relationship. Their love goes deeper than the erotic love…they just love who you are….your entire being and are just satisfied seeing you…hearing your voice. Damn…. how many men are like this these days? How many? Just few of them around and you do not find them easily. The type of men you see ev­erywhere are all those crude ones who are confusing themselves with love/crush/lust and looking for women to put into romantic coma without any care in the world. If you are not willing to give in to their sexual demands, their stupid love song, you are history! So you see folks….we have more men who crush than love. They crush hon­estly but hardly love honestly. If you still feel am not making sense here, tell me the reason why a man meets a woman today and all he de­sires for the next few days is sex? Is this honest love? Those few men who still love honestly have actaul­ly saved all the lust male sharks from my bullet today or else most of you who fall into this category would have swore! So i urge you good guys to keep being decent and loving….some of us out here still appreciate your honesty

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2face’s biography for public presentation on October 20

A Very Good Bad Guy: The Story Of Innocent ‘2face’ Idibia, the biography of Nigerian pop icon 2face will finally be released on Tuesday, October 20, 2015.

The book launch, according to NET publisher and Idibia’s former publicist, Ayeni Adekunle, will hold at Terra Kulture, Lagos.

The 460-page book will contain a wide range of materials on Idibia’s life and times, including accounts from his mother, his wife, siblings, colleagues and mentors. It will also contain selected lyrics and discography, as well as editorial materials dating as far back as 2005.

The biography, done in commemoration of the singer’s 40th birthday, is a first-of-its-kind for any pop star in Idibia’s category, and the first by any contemporary Nigerian media platform. Fully funded and edited by NET News, owners of Newsroom, THENETNG, Orin, NECLive and Star, the biography is part of the NET Book Series, a dedicated project to document an important era in Nigeria’s creative industry.

“It’s the first of many,” Ayeni says.

Already confirmed for Idibia’s book launch are the duo of Tee A and Ali Baba who will serve as event host and book reviewer respectively.

The event will also feature a live conversation between book editor Ayeni Adekunle and 2face Idibia.

The 2face Idibia biography is the second installment in the NET Book Series, following the publication of Chris Ihidero’s Wanderings Of A Rapidly Degenerating Mind earlier this year. The book project is projected to replace the company’s weekly print newspaper which has in recent times been epileptic and is already scheduled to go off the stands later this month

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14 Sexy benefits of sleeping naked you had no idea about

Sleeping naked is not new to some people, but if you’re giving that a serious thought, here’s why you should take everything off before going to bed. It is both shocking and slightly understandable because our ancestors started out that way before the fig leaf came into vogue. Yet here we are, buying sleepwear worth hundreds of dollars because it’s what we were taught to do.
So why is there a new movement telling us to forego the flannel and whip out our breasts in the dead of night, in the comfort of our bedrooms? I mean, I understand how empowering that might feel, but even I may need a little convincing.
I’ve been sleeping in jammies for 27 years, so I’m a little hard-pressed to believe that airing out my lady bits could be good for me. Still, judging from the advice of many professionals, sleeping naked is actually good for our whole body and not just our privates.
Why sleeping naked is good for you
1. Airing out your vajayjay makes it healthier and cleaner:
The author of “The Sex Drive Solution for Women,” Jennifer Landa, MD, says that sleeping without panties on can promote a healthier environment for your vagina. A closed-off and excessively warm environment is the perfect setting for a yeast infection, so airing it out can prevent infection.
2. The cooler you are, the better you sleep:
Wearing sleepwear and a ton of blankets can be bad for your sleep cycle. Your body temperature is supposed to drop in order for you to get into an optimum state of sleep, which means that blankets and clothes might increase your temperature and disrupt your sleep. That’s not good at all, considering a lack of Z’s is both unhealthy and makes for a very unpleasant morning.
3. You’ll wake up younger every day! Well, not exactly–but your aging process will significantly slow down. As we sleep, we release growth hormone (a natural anti-aging substance),and when sleep is disrupted due to excessive warmth, we produce less of it and end up aging faster.
4. Your stress levels will decrease:
Sleeping without clothes on is more comfortable for our body, as described above. Because we’re sleeping soundly, our stress hormone, cortisol, also decreases.
5. It’s a confidence booster:
When we are naked, we are more aware of our body and that’s a good thing. That’s why walking naked, alone, in the house doesn’t feel embarrassing at all. It feels sexy and empowering, which in turn boosts our confidence levels.
6. Better relationships:
Sleeping naked next to each other boosts your oxytocin levels. This is what scientists call the “love hormone.” When it’s at its highest levels, it promotes pair bonding, which is a scientific way of saying that you and your partner will like each other more.
7. Awesome and frequent sex:
This is also a wonderful side-effect of increased oxytocin. Researchers found that those who released more oxytocin tended to experience stronger orgasms and had decidedly more engaging sex lives. This means not only more sex, but better sex.
8. Less laundry. Enough said.
9. Keeps the boys cooler and healthier:
For men, sleeping naked cools down their testes. This is the ideal environment for keeping your sperm healthy. That’s why sleeping naked is related to higher fertility rates in men.
10. Sleeping is finally bearable in the summer:
The majority of highly populated countries are now experiencing extreme temperature bursts during summer. If you continue to sleep naked during that period, you won’t have to suffer from hot flashes that aren’t supposed to occur in non-menopausal men and women.
11. Revs up your metabolism:
Sleeping in a cooler environment allows your body to produce healthy fat that increases your metabolism. Study author Francesco S. Celi, MD says that his subjects, who slept in a chilly room, produced more brown fat a healthy fat stored in your neck which burns your calories in order to generate body heat. Sleeping naked might produce the same effects.
12. It boosts your immune system:
Getting uninterrupted sleep because you’re naked is also a great way to boost your immune system. We heal faster while we sleep, and we store enough energy to keep our healthy antibodies working.
13. You’re less hungry when you wake up:
High levels of cortisol increase your appetite. Since sleeping naked lowers the amount of cortisol in your body, you’re less likely to feel like you need a midnight snack or an extra serving of dessert in the middle of the day, contributing to weight loss or weight management.
14. More sex:
Sleeping naked all the time? That’s just asking to be woken up by your boyfriend’s stiffy or your girlfriend’s mouth. Kidding aside, couples are more likely to feel the urge to sleep together when they sleep naked next to each other.
Oxytocin high, cortisol low. Nothing could go wrong.
Your Comments are always welcome below….
More to Follow…

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‘I use beauty shows to empower younger women’

Affable Lady Juliet Geoffrey-Porbeni is the managing director 2Side Modelling Concepts and the founder of Miss Green And White Nigeria, a company that organises the popular ‘Miss Green And White Nigeria Beauty Pageant’.
According to this ex-beauty queen, she is determined to use the platform she knows well to empower younger women by giving them a chance in the beauty world.
“I was once a beauty queen, I love fashion and I’m determined to use beauty pageantry as a platform to empower younger women. I will use it as a vehicle to pass good messages to people, create a stronger platform for young women to voice out their passion and work towards achieving their dreams. So, the next beauty pageant is on October 4,” she disclosed.
Lady Geoffrey-Porbeni still remembers vividly what her tenure was as a beauty queen.
“I was awarded ‘The Most Intelligent Queen’ at ‘The Miss Hospitality Nigeria’ beauty pageant which took place in 2009. I remember I had lots of projects I worked on. And from the popular cliché which says that once a lady is crowned queen she is always a queen, I’m still working very hard to affect my generation positively. Believe me, I have never relented! As you can see that among all my peers, I’m proud to say that I’m the last one standing. Though most of us are married, I’m still very much in the game,” she stressed.
Unveiling what stands her beauty pageant out as a person who had experienced what it is like to be a queen, she said that “presently the world is changing and young people are being used as an instrument of destruction, violence and terrorism. As a lover of peace, I have been looking for ways to pass important messages across to my country and the world. I’m glad that God has given me a concept with which to use to pass my message. Hence, I decided to use my pageantry as a medium to promote peace and unity in my country.”
She emphasises on what the participants stand to gain from the show.
“My beauty pageant is unique because it is a national programme that promotes peace and unity in Nigeria and brings into memory Nigeria’s independence. When I’m sourcing for contestants I opt for intelligent girls because my crown is also about beauty and brain.
“That is why after selecting them, I make sure that my crew and I create different activities that would educate them more on what we stand for and make them get better. They would be camped for seven days to be groomed thoroughly. We have lots of activities mapped out for them, including seminars and workshops, acquisition programmes for some of the models that want to be presenters. They would also be taught how to get hotter on catwalks, aerobic exercises, health management, cooking competition, etc. No beauty aspirant is expected to while away her time in camp,” she said.
Her queens are not meant only to wear beauty crowns and sash.
“The reason is that the sole objective of my pageant is to promote peace and unity in my country. Hence, my queens are meant to work/act on the objectives of the pageant. Though they may as well have their own personal projects,” she explained.
Lady Porbeni is however confronted with some challenges in what she does because no good thing comes easy.
“Finance is one of the major challenges. Nigerians are waiting for you to be a celebrity before they come out in force to support you even if your idea is meaningful and positive. But by God’s grace, I will get there. This is what I’m doing with a passion. If I have sponsors or not, I must move forward,” she said.
This workaholic says she enjoys every aspect of her job.
“I enjoy every part of my job because it is what I love to do and what thrills me most about my contestants is that they are all very determined to clutch the diamond-studded crown,” she said smilingly.

To some Nigerian mothers who don’t allow their daughters participate in beauty pageants believing that it is unnecessary exposure for the girl child, she has some words: “Parents if you don’t allow your daughters make use of their God-given creativity, they might end up choosing wrong profession. Please allow them discover themselves even if not through pageantries but through other heart-desired professions. I would like if parents could learn to support and guide them in their choice of career,” she said.

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Kissing is part of the game

That kissing is very important in the game of intimacy is an understatement. It is a key instrument and that real romantic couples cannot but observe before making love. It serves as a form of introduction.
However, much as almost everyone would agree that kissing is significant, hardly do many make the best use of it. For instance, for most men, it is most of the time not properly explored before a plunge is taken into the real sexual activity. That is, even when it is being carried out as foreplay, it hardly lasts. It is done in a hurry.
Many may not agree with me, but the problem many have is that couples don’’t know how to kiss! Yes. Kissing is not all about putting the lips together or running the tongue on the other person’’s tongue or lips. Effectively done, it gives a good feeling that couples would normally want to last very long.
Why most couples prefer to get it done with very fast is because they don’’t enjoy it the way it should be. The truth of the matter is that only if couples find time to learn or do it the proper way would they know what they are missing.
Let’’s go through the techniques as put down by those who know better:
Do a few soft kisses. Start slow with soft, gentle kisses and skip the tongue and the teeth —— for now. If your partner seems receptive, you can move forward to French kissing. In case you don’’t know, French kissing is a system whereby you use your tongue during a kiss. One cannot understand why it is so referred in Western culture, anyway. While doing the kissing, avoid making your lips smack as the sound might distract. All you need to do is slow down and part your lips a little bit more if you find out that you are smacking. Also, avoid your lips against partner ’’s mouth. The slow gentle move allows you to ascertain the level of his or her interest. It also allows the partner to stop if he or she feels uncomfortable.
Maintain a moderate level of saliva. Avoid too much saliva. In case your lips are becoming too wet, you should withdraw and nicely reduce it.
““Lock”” lips. If your initial kisses have gone well, try a lip lock, which can lead to closer kisses. Essentially, you’’ll ““stack”” your lips. Putting your partner’’s lower lip between yours is the safest bet. Most people have larger lower lips, making them easier to grab gently with your lips. Breathe while you kiss. Ideally, you’’ll be able to breathe softly through your nose while you’’re kissing. If that’’s not possible, though, break away for a second to take a breath. It will be wrong to feel suffocated. If you breathe hard, you will only be showing a sign of being nervous or that you are rather excited, making your partner feel flattered.
Don’’t hang your hands. Put them to use. You can place your hands lightly on your partner’’s shoulders or around his or her waist. (In Western culture, girls generally put their hands on boys shoulders while he puts his hands around her waist.). You could pull your partner closer.
Also, put your hands on the sides of his or her face, using your thumb to sweep across the cheekbone, or put one hand under his or her chin and tilt it upward. Another seriously good move is to put both hands around the back of your partner’’s head and tangle them in his or her hair, gently pulling.
Test using tongue. Once you’’re in a lip lock with your partner’’s lower lip between both of yours, lightly run the tip of your tongue over it. If you can move it slowly, the better. Then, gauge your partner’’s response. If he or she presses in closer or returns the gesture, you’’re probably clear to keep increasing the intensity of the kiss. If your partner pulls away, maybe it’’s best to pull back the tongue for now and stick to lips-only kisses.
Try French kissing (if you like). Sweep your tongue along the inside of your partner’’s lower lip. Try to move slowly and lightly at first, increasing speed and pressure only if your partner seems to respond well. Slide the tip of your tongue inside your partner’’s mouth and gently move it against the tip of his or her tongue. Use light, darting motions and keep your tongue moving —— letting it sit limply in your partner’’s mouth isn’’t appealing and will bring a quick end to the kissing. Try deeper and harder strokes if your partner seems responsive.

Be sensitive however, to your partner’’s response to know whether to slow down or pull the brake. Ensure not to be too excited also to avoid hurting each other. Remember again that either of you can take the lead and of course, there is still room for an improvement. Enjoy.

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‘He wants to kill me with too much sex’

 I wish to divorce my husband because he is too fond of sex. All he knows in his life is sex. He has sexual intercourse with me at least six days of the week and it may be twice a day. He does not give me rest of mind. He monitors me around —Wife
A middle-aged woman, Soliat Adekojo, has asked a Grade ‘C’ Customary Court sitting in Mapo, Ibadan South-East Local Government Area of Oyo State to dissolve her five years marriage to her husband, Musibau over his excessive sexual desire.
The complainant, a trader who resides at Amuloko Area of Ibadan told the court that he seduced her into marrying him five years ago and the union is blessed with a child.
Soliat said, “I wish to divorce my husband because he is fond of sex. All he knows in his life is sex and is not an ordinary desire, but a marathon sex. He used to have sexual intercourse with me, at least six days of the week and it may be twice a day. He does not give me rest of mind. He monitors me around.
“I later got to know through his mother that I am the plaintiff ’s ninth wife.
“A week after I left his house, the plaintiff came with the police to arrest my brother, that I conspired with my brother to steal his N2.5 million.
“My brother was detained in police custody for three days but I was bailed the second day by one of the plaintiff ’s daughters, Sakirat. Sakirat explained to the police that her father (the plaintiff) was lying about his claim of stolen money.
“Last year June, my husband’s friend, Alhaji Adebolu, called me to inform me that my husband had parked all my belongings to his house. He explained that he also told him that he did want to see me and his son again.
“I later went to his friend’s house to park my things. A week after, I fell sick to the extent that I was referred to a psychiatric hospital for a brain examination because they said I was always mentioning the plaintiff ’s name during the sickness.
“My Lord, while passing through this sickness, the plaintiff did not for once ask after me or his only son.
“Early this year, the plaintiff arrested my brother again and he was detained at Agodi Prison for six days. He continuously threatened everyone around me with arrest.
“My Lord, I am fed up with this relationship. Please, separate us. I don’t want to die now.”
Responding to his wife’s allegation, Musibau who is an Alfa admitted to the claims but asked the court to allow him have custody of the child because his wife cannot cater for the child.
In his ruling, President of the court, Chief Agbaje Olasunkami averred, “Having observed the evidence given by both parties, the court rules thus: the divorce on repayment of bride price is hereby granted with immediate effect.”

Olasukanmi ordered that the child remain in custody of the plaintiff while the defendant must be paying a monthly sum of N3, 000 for the upkeep of the child until he is grown up. (NAN).

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I do only family friendly jokes —Damola Adegboye

Damola Adegboye is one of Nigeria’s finest comedians. In this exclusive interview, the graduate of Political Science and International Relations, speaks about his passion for comedy and lecturing.

Who are you aspiring to be like in the world of comedy, and why?
I have a lot of people I admire but I perpetually aspire to be like Saco because of his leadership style. Not necessarily because he is a comedian but because of his approach to the job.
What was your growing up like?
Growing up was fun. I am from a very lively family. I grew up in Mushin, Lagos, had my primary education in Bosby Day Nursery and Primary School and Tunyo Primary School. I then proceeded to Federal Government College, Ikirun where I had my secondary education, then Osun State University where I had my first degree and the University of Ibadan where I had my Master’s degree in political science.
Why did you choose comedy as a career?
For me, comedy is an inborn thing. It was initially a hobby, but when people started seeing value in it, it developed into a career because it was converted from a hobby to a product that has monetary value.
Can you briefly define your style?
Simplicity, elegance, maturity. What is your style signature? I really don’t have a particular one, but you will always see me looking sharp and smart.
Apart from comedy, what are the other things you do?
I am a lecturer in the same university I came out of as a first class. This made the school authorities retain me as a junior lecturer. So if I’m not doing comedy, I will be lecturing.
How do you combine them together?
I try as much as possible to marry the both of them together. I have a timetable that I work with, and it has been of good help to me.
How do you give back to the society?
I try as much as possible to assist the few I can, and also help in charity work.
What are your achievements so far?
I have been privileged to enjoy some awesome platforms that I can’t count within and outside the country. I’ve been privileged to anchor Babatunde Fashola’s younger brother’s wedding, co-anchored Pastor Poju Oyemade’s wedding, and other high profile weddings. I’ve done a lot of corporate events with reputable national and multinational organizations like KPMG, Union Bank, Stanbic Bank, First Bank, Nestle, UAC Foods, Flour Mills of Nigeria, to mention a few. God has been faithful. One that is dear to me is a comedy performance of an old woman’s testimony that went viral.
When did you start having passion for comedy?
It started from childhood where I used to mimic my teachers at home after school, I see it as inborn thing, and I also I was in my church drama group all these add together make me know I will be a comedian.
What happened to you when you were a child that you still remember?
A lot of things happened, when I went to visit my cousins and I stood in a colony of soldier ants and I didn’t notice until they were all over me.
What is your philosophy of life?
Keep doing well at what you know how to do best, be humble and focused; you will rise to where God wants you to be. I also encourage as many as possible to go school.
Comedy seems to be the rave now but your education is a lasting legacy that can’t depart from you. I graduated with a first class and I have been doing comedy before I graduated, so it is possible to combine successfully with the help of God.
Are you actually enjoying what you do as a comedian? Are you fulfilled?
I am enjoying what I do, one of my aims is to make people happy and I find fulfillment in it.
What kind of comedy do you think Nigerians want that you are giving them?
For me, I do ethical jokes, I do it clean and make sure its family friendly, most importantly, I make sure people can relate with what I say on stage.
Where do you think Nigerian comedians are not getting it right?
I really don’t know, but I feel the originality is not really in place. I feel comedians should adopt their own style and avoid being who they are not.
What stands you out in the comedy world?
I think my style and my approach to the job stands me out. I can fit into any kind of crowd conveniently. God has always helped me.
Have you been embarrassed on stage before?
The first wedding I anchored, in 2009, my dressing was terrible, and for the whole of that day I wasn’t comfortable with my presentation, it was a nasty experience that day.
Where do you see comedy in Nigeria in the next five years?

I see comedy as a big business in Nigeria. Moreover, it’ll be bigger and better structured and will compete globally.

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I started acting while in primary school –Bridget Chigbufue

 Which movie shot you into the limelight?
Funnily, it was my very first soap opera where I played ‘Essien’, the bush Calabar girl, that brought me out. A lot of people saw it, it’s funny, and they loved it. That was how I started really. Then ‘Game Plan’ another movie, a lot of people referred to me because of the fame I got from that movie. Those are the two major movies that brought me into the limelight. Interestingly, ‘Game Plan’ is a production that is always aired in ‘Africa Magic’. You can imagine how many people watch ‘Africa Magic’. It’s crazy, we are getting better and stronger.
 What was your most challenging role so far?
I have been in movies and soaps; I think every role is different and challenging. That particular one I did where I played as a Calabar bush girl, I had to watch a lot of Calabar movies just to be able to act to reality, to be able to deliver the right accent for the character. She was supposed to be a bush Calabar girl as I said who couldn’t speak English well. I had to learn about it, watch so many movies that had Calabar intonations. I just had to learn it. I changed my L to R and my A to G, it was crazy. But it turned out right. Even in the ‘Game Plan’, I played the role of a bad girl. Every role has a weird challenge. But the idea is to beat that challenge, so as to deliver. So every production has been a challenging one for me.
 Which actor would you love to be paired to bring out your best in a romance role?
Truth is that there isn’t anyone in particular because you can never tell what goes on in a person’s mouth. There is really nobody that I have thought about.
 How was your growing up?
Growing up was very interesting and nice. I grew up in Lagos. It was at an estate, so we had kids playing up and down and going to the same school. We played downstairs and never forgot ‘Tales by Moonlight’ or ‘Super Ted’ as a child. I never forget all those games we used to play, ‘Twinkle-Twinkle’ and the rest of them. Those were the childhood days and everyday even when I’m down now as a grown up, I relive those moments. I would also never forget my secondary school days, I was a boarder all through and it was crazy. You know how it was junior girls being punished. It was interesting and it’s a moment I would never forget. And, of course, my three weeks camp in Lagos as a youth corps member. Lagos was an amazing place and it is still amazing. All these experiences have impacted in one way positively in my life, especially in school when I used to do stage dramas and all that. It was an amazing experience. I mean that I started acting on stage right from primary school and it has now become something else for me.
 Who do you aspire to be like in Nollywood and Hollywood?
As I said, I’m an actor and at present I have so many people I’m aspiring to be like. Rita Dominic is one of them. She has tried her best. I like Stephanie Okereke Linus for her carriage and strength. She is a strong woman. I admire Joke Silva, she has an amazing diction, loving home and marriage. I love the fact that she has been married for so many years in the industry and there is nothing wrong and they are still going strong. Mercy Johnson is a versatile actress and I love her for that. There are lots of up-and-coming actresses that are also amazing. I can’t really mention all their names. For Hollywood, I love Angela Basat, she is an amazing actress. I love Charlie Sterone, she has a strong personality and she carries her character really strongly. I love the weirdness that it brings along from Jenifer Armston, she is crazy and the will to want to defeat every crazy thing you have is amazing when she does it. Then for presenting, I still love the late Joan Rivers. She was witty.
In entertainment industry, fashion and lifestyle, it’s kind of like my main thing in presenting. As a TV Presenter, I love her. I also love Tricia. I like her down-to-earth mannerisms even doing her show. It’s one that I think every show in Nigeria both the TV should have…an opportunity to be down-to-earth, to be able to say things the right way and to be able to criticise or scold whoever that is on set even when the person is wrong. Do it because the person needs to hear the truth. Only the truth should be on air. That is what she does. Oprah Winfrey is an inspirational woman who has given and built a lot out of her career. I would always like to be like her when I grow up.
 Can you relive your debut on movie?
It was in 2011 in a movie entitled ‘Open Heavens’. I got that role through an audition in Benin. I had finished school and I was awaiting youth service. I was good, he liked the way I interpreted that role. I’m glad that he gave me that opportunity. Lancelot the movie producer also put me through in some other things that we needed as a screen actor. It was a nice experience and I would never forget that one thing he did for me. It kicked up my acting career and that was even before ‘The Next Movie Star’.
 What if your husband in future asks you to quit acting?
I would oblige him, he is my husband but we would come to terms with something. There has to be some understanding before I get married. He should understand what I was doing. If he should ask me to quit, it has to be for some really strong reasons that I can’t possibly refuse. We would have to talk about that.
 What are the qualities of your ideal man?
My ideal man might not always be available but he should be tall. He should be fair-complexioned and humble. He should be generous, considerate and tolerant. He should love God, I mean someone who can impact on me and I on him. Someone who gives the best advice and he is business-oriented. He should be handsome because I’m not ugly so that when I wake up and look at you in the morning, I would be happy (laughs loudly).
 What puts you off a man?

Pretension and lies. If I discover these two things in you, I would put my two hands on my head and run.

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‘Determination helps marriage work’

‘As far as Mrs Tata Toe- Ekechi, an industrial mathematician turned banker is concerned, every couple going into the marriage institution should be determined to make it work. “I was determined to make success of the marriage and God is really crowning my effort with success. I believe determination on the sides of both individuals involved always work,” 
Marriage is not one of the easiest institutions to deal with. How have you been able to deal with the challenges of yours?
As a mother of three and a wife of a man who is ever on the move, it has been God that has been helping me to succeed this far. There were series of challenges especially at those early years, but God and my determination to remain married no matter the situation and the condition has kept me on.
I put God first in everything and I guess that’s why it has been possible for me to overcome my troubles even to appeal to my in-laws. I was determined to make success of the marriage and God is really crowning my effort with success. I think with God at the background of my marriage and my determination to make it work, my home has been able to stay till today. I believe determination on the sides of both individuals involved always work.
Do you think in-laws are responsible for broken homes?
In some cases, yes. Most wives are faced with all kinds of issues with their in-laws, in some cases, it is the mother inlaw, in others, it is either the man’s brother, sister or both. And where the wife is not accepted, it is only a matter of time for the home to break. The reason is that the man is used to his family and will always feel troubled to separate from them.
There are also cases where the problem comes from the wife’s side. In most cases, where the woman is financially more comfortable than the man and this is known to her family, they may push her against her husband. There many homes that have become broken because of this. That is where determination plays very important role in any marriage.
If the couples are determined to stay in the marriage, no turbulence can separate them. And determination cannot stand alone; it must go with God and godliness. If you will pray well and take godly steps, the storm, no matter how strong will be put abbey.
Is it possible for a wife to satisfy her inlaws?
Terrible and difficult as most in-laws are, I tell you with God; it is possible to please them. I won’t tell you that I am married to a family where there are no challenges; we have our own little quarrels but we keep finding a way of settling them. I look at my in-laws as my own and try as much as I can to overlook bitter incidents. Like I said, I was determined to stay in my marriage, so, I believe I don’t have anywhere to go, and so, I stay.. My mother was always drumming it into our hears that we had no room left for us in our father’s house once we get married and it sunk into my consciousness. So, I tried to do all to remain in marriage as much as I can and God has been my helper. I apologise for any wrong on my part.
There are times when my husband would say look, you are my wife, you are not supposed to do this to my people, I would go there to apologise. I was not even aware that my husband holds these things to his heart and like I told you, I could not hold back tears when he was talking about them in the public on the day he held a birthday bash specially for me.. I have to tell you that marriage has not been that easy but I just thank God for His teachings and His words for they have taken me this far.
With a simple heart, a heart that is ready to obey God and her husband, a wife will win her in-laws to her side. Just don’t see yourself as being above them, or better than them. Respect them also if not for anything but for the love you have for your husband and your desire to stay in the marriage to take care of your children.
You said your husband is always on the move. How then have you been coping with his kind of person?
I think my ability to come to terms with his way of life and why it has to be so has generally been helpful. He grew up in Ajegunle and he had always dreaded going back to slum. Since I know him, he is always working and hardly rest. If you ask him why? He would simply say “ I don’t want to go back to where I was before. There is no money and I have a lot of dependants. I have to work hard to take these people to where they would be able to stand on their own. I don’t want to see poverty anymore.”
So, he had kept on working and I know he has achieved a lot in this direction. Being a banker means that you are frequently away from the house. How do you balance the two? The job of a banker and that of a mother are two different things. You cannot compare the two of them. When I am at the office, I do my job and once I am at home, I face my family.
No woman is exonerated for blaming her broken home on the kind of job she has. No one expects your home front to suffer just because of your kind of work. You have to be on your toes all the time and I thank God that He has given me the grace to balance the two: keeping the home going and not lacking in my job. I make sure my kids, and even my husband, are okay.
What is your advice to young female professionals out there who see marriage as a way of servitude?
I think with my experience, I would advise them not to see marriage as a way of caging a woman. Even some men feel so. I think once God gives you the favour and chance to get married, no matter how educated you are or big you are, you should be happy and get set to enjoy yourself. There is nothing like being married. I have seen women who are more successful than their male counterparts or their husbands, but there is nothing like being with a man. There are many of things that go with it. When you go out or in your office, functions or anywhere, when you say you are Mrs so and so, people respect you.
They can say it is because you are someone’s wife that I am leaving you. But if you are not married, the respect is not there; even younger people would talk to you anyhow because they know you are single. So my advice is that once these guys start coming, they should give them the chance and when they come, we should deal with them with a simple heart. When a woman sees herself above a man just because of her position in the office, she won’t be able to keep her marriage. Pride, we all know goes before a downfall.
On a lighter mood, do you pick your husband’s call or read his text messages?
(Laughter) You want me to leave my children now? No. I have done it before and it didn’t feel good at the end of the day. So, I advise myself to desist from doing that to prevent myself from a heart attack Even when he ask me to pick it, I would say no. I don’t also read his text messages. He is a man. Even if he is a cripple, women will still go after him not to talk of a man like him. My mother says what you don’t see or hear can not disturb you.
What do you think is the best approach to a blissful marriage?
You see, every family has their own peculiarities. Coming together to dialogue and discuss what the trouble is what couples don’t do. I mean bridging the gap of communication is very important. Besides, two captains, they say, cannot run a ship so, I don’t like it when wives want to be at par with their husbands. Respecting your man, no matter how big your status is will keep him on your side always. Since I I have been married, my husband has always been winning. And that is what my pastor said: allow him to win, leave the rest to God. If you say you want to boss a man, the next day, you would be outside that home.

Even if you adopt any charm, be assured that it will run of its potency one day. The aftermath then will not be palatable. If you want your home to stay till death do you part, you have to give in to the man. A good wife is she who is calm when things are hot but after the coast seems clear, she takes her time to explain things gently to her husband. You don’t shout when your husband is shouting or try to rub shoulders with him like we have said. Even if you earn more than he does, you cannot become the man of the house. In our culture, a man is a man, no matter what. This is what I do. I don’t preach what I don’t practice.

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Kylie Jenner shows off hot Bikini body at her 27m home

The youngest of the Kardashian clan, Kylie Jenner never ceases to amaze with her hot bikini body. The 18 year-old reality star shows off her sexy body at the poolside of her luxury $2.7million 

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‘My wife refuses to bear my surname’

• She always tells me that she is comfortable with her father’s

name, and that she cannot change it — Husband

An Igando Customary Court in Lagos State has dissolved a three-year marriage of a civil servants over the refusal of the woman to bear her husband’s surname. The court president, Mr R. Adeyeri, held that Mr Johnson Munago and his wife Helen, both aged 35, were tired of their marriage, as all efforts to reconcile them failed. “The court has no choice than to dissolve the union in spite of the woman’s claim that she loves her husband,’’ he said. Adeyeri referred the custody of the two-year-old child produced by the marriage to the Family Court.

The president also ordered Johnson to pay N50, 000 rehabilitation cost to Helen. Johnson, it was gathered, had filed a suit for the dissolution of the marriage over Helen’s refusal to change her surname. The petitioner told the court that since he married Helen in 2010, she had refused to bear his name. “She always tells me that she is comfortable with her father’s name, and that she cannot change it,” Johnson said. He also submitted that Helen was too demanding, adding that she insisted that he should rent a flat for her and be giving her N10,000 weekly for upkeep. “When I tried to explain that I didn’t have money to rent a flat, she told me that she agreed to marry me just to solve her personal problem.

“She said that she was diagnosed of a womb ailment and that the doctor advised her to get pregnant as soon as possible. “She told me that she had got what she wanted, and thereafter packed out of our apartment on January 16, 2011 with my son to an unknown destination,” he said. The petitioner also said that the woman regularly returned home late in the night. Responding, Helen told the court that she still loved her husband, although he was a drunk and had refused to care for his family. “He spends his salary on drinks and comes back home drunk,’’ she said Helen told the court that she sponsored their wedding ceremony in 2010 and that Johnson failed to reimburse her as he promised. She added that her husband abandoned her and the child for eight months and returned to seek divorce.

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‘My wife is pregnant for another man’

• As I speak with you, she is carrying another man’s child. All I want is for the court to dissolve this

marriage and grant me custody of my children —Husband

• I want this court to dissolve the marriage. I am tired —Wife

Fortyseven-year-old Captain Kliffy Madueke told the Ikeja Customary Court that he wants his fifteen year marriage to Mercy, a banker dissolved on the grounds of adultery and disrespect to him. According to the flight captain, his wife has been cheating on him with several men. He said, “I want this honourable court to dissolve this marriage because this woman has been so ungrateful to me. She cheats on me with another man and as I am speaking with you, she is carrying another man’s child.

I want this court to dissolve the union and grant me custody of my two children who are 15 and 13 years old respectively” Madueke further disclosed that he had tried to cope with her laziness for years, hoping that she would change, but that has not been the case. “She is extremely lazy. I will return home after flying for hours and sometimes for days and will have to start cooking what to eat. She would even join me in eating the food without batting an eyelid. She is so insensitive.

This has caused several quarrels between us over the years. Precisely a year ago, she packed her things and left the house, saying she could not stand our quarrels anymore. She, however, left with very important documents, including my international passport, my children’s international passport, my flight licence and other vital documents and my SUV vehicle because I was not at home when she left. “When I noticed the absence of my documents and my car, I went to her father’s house where she went to and collected my stuff from her. She was not willing to let go until I threatened to ensure that she lost her job, because I was the one who got the job for her in the first place.

After sometime, because of the children, I went back to her to plead that she should come back home so we could start our lives on a new slate. She refused and said she was through with me. I did this for over three months with no result, only for me to discover that she was actually seeing another man. As I speak with you, she is carrying another man’s child. All I want is for the court to dissolve this marriage and grant me cus tody of my children.” Mercy, on the other hand, denied all the allegations levelled against her by her husband, adding that she also wants the union to be dissolved because she was tired of the constant quarrel. “I am not pregnant for anybody and I am not dating anybody. But I want this marriage dissolved because I am tired of the constant quarrels and pain.” “He is adulterous. He sleeps with everything in skirt.

I stopped hiring house helps because he sleeps with them. He cheats on me even to my face. I want this court to dissolve the marriage, I am tired.” After listening to both parties, the case was adjourned for further hearing by the court president, Mr. Sam Aluko.

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Why I don’t have tattoos – Mercy Aigbe

Mercy Aigbe-Gentry keeps notching her fame higher. The amiable actress won the Yoruba Movie Personality of The Year at the City People Awards last week. Married to a hotelier and businessman Lanre Gentry, the mother of two has successfully managed both her career and the home front. In this chat with AJIBADE ALABI, the Osas and Komfo star speaks about her new work Victims, beauty secrets and other issues.

Congratulations on your new award. How did you feel winning it? I was very happy and excited winning the Yoruba Movie personality of the Year 2015 (smiles). That’s another feather to my cap, to God be the glory. And I just want to thank all my fans who voted for me; I was simply happy. There’s this thing about awards; it actually makes you sit back and think there is something one is doing right somewhere; I mean some people are noticing what I am doing, so it makes you want to put more effort.

Considering other nominees with you, did you feel you were going to win? Well, just being nominated alone was a great honour, it’s not easy. It was like fifty; if I won, fine; if I didn’t, just being nominated was just enough for me, and thank God I eventually won; everybody wants to win. 

What exactly is your movie ‘ Victims’ about?

‘Victims’ is about a young lady who has to go through a lot of things in life; things she didn’t call for. A lot of people experience things that it’s not like they brought it upon themselves. I would say it’s probably fate, providence or destiny. So she had to go through a lot of things and how she dealt with the issues. It’s a very emotional, intriguing movie; full of suspense. It’s a movie I belief once it eventually comes out and people get to see it, they are just going to love it. It’s a movie that teaches lots of morals, it talks to parents and also talks about marriage, because I believe that today, people don’t really respect the institution marriage, and people who are not patient enough to want bear so many things that come with being in union with another person. They forget that we are different individuals from different backgrounds with different upbringing, so they are not ready to compromise; so many things, they are just not ready. That’s why most marriages don’t work out. It also talks about domestic

violence, the home; it’s simply a bumper package and I’m sure people are just going to love it. 

Are you saying it is a life experience? No, it’s actually based on different people’s experiences; stories I heard from different people, so I decided to put all together in one package. And there’s this particular thing we talked about in the movie; that’s the baby factory issue; when you have fake doctors go on the streets to pick up teenagers, giving them the hope that they are going to get rehabilitated whereas they are going to use them for their own selfish needs; get them impregnated, sell the babies. So, those are part of the things you’re going to see in the movie. 

What informed bringing Saheed and Fathia Balogun together on that set? Both are fantastic actor and actress, they have been in the industry for a long time, they are both my senior colleagues; people I respect so much; each of them has carved a niche for themselves in the industry. So, when I was casting, I saw that these two individuals can actually play the roles I want them to play perfectly well in the movie, that was why I casted them. They are professionals and they actually gave me their best. If you were on that set, you would have gotten the better picture. Also the Ghanaian, Juliet Ibrahim, was excited playing that role. Learning a new language was thrilling for her. You know there’s something about it when you are doing something different from the usual; it’s always very exciting and adventurous. So she was very happy playing the role, and it was very good having her on set; she gave in her best and I was very happy working with her. 

You also got Lancelot Imaseun as your director? Oh my God (her face glowed), Lancelot! Okay I don’t want to sound tribalistic anyway, but he’s my big uncle because he is also from Benin which is my tribe. Besides that, we all know that he is someone to reckon with when it comes to directing in

Nollywood. He has paid his dues, he’s a fantastic director. Before the Victims, I was on set in Benin for a movie titled Two Sides of a Coin and it was a different experience for me because he is an artistic director who knows how to give you what you really want on set; brings out the best in you eventually. So after that set, I was like oh my next job, I’ll love this man to direct it; so when the script came I sent it to him, he read it and he said “oh this is a fantastic script, I want to do it.” And he was also excited because it was his first Yoruba job. ‘Victims’ is sixty percent Yoruba, forty percent English movie. And he was really excited because he was going to be working with different people. So it was very exciting to work with him. 

Your fashion sense, how did you create it? I’ve always loved looking good. I’ve always loved gett ing complements from people about my looks. I’m also a person who loves pictures; I love to dress up and take pictures

of myself. 

When you are stepping out, how long does it take to makeup? It doesn’t really take look. But obviously, event takes much time than my daily makeup.

Like how many hours does it take? Approximately two and a half hours, because makeup artists take so much time on your face, I really don’t know why! I think the fastest makeup artist that has worked on my face spent nothing less than an hour, thirty minutes; some actually take up to three hours and I’ll be like ‘I’m tired!’ That was why I said two-and-a-half hours. Dress for about an hour; make sure everything is fi xed in the right places; get the other ones too that are very important. But for my everyday look, I try as much as possible to pick up whatever I want to wear the night before. At times, my mood determines my dress. 

The last time, you said you are also launching your own hair line? Yes, now we have Magdiva Hair, which is going to be launched very soon. We have different types of hair. I have my own cosmetic line; it’s just about beauty. We guys in Nigeria have complained about some girls looking like impersonators too often; when you meet them, they will look like white, but when you get to know them properly, you discover they are actually black. 

You are into fashion, what do you have to say about this deceitful appearance? It depends on the individual, and I’ve always respected people’s opinion and how they choose to live their life. If you feel you are dark and you want to make yourself lighter; if that will earn you confidence and comfort, I’d say go for it, but do not damage your skin in the process. I keep telling my clients that my products are not chemical based, they are made of herbs, so you don’t need to exercise fear over my products. In the process of looking for comfort and confidence however, please do not get your life affected, because a lot of people have lost their lives because of this. And as for men who fall victim of the impersonators, I think the ladies are actually giving you what you want, so please appreciate people with dark, naturally looking girls. Therefore, guys are to blame for their actions. So on this note; we are going to go into men’s fashion in the nearest future. 

Are you a subscriber to waist trainer? Yes I am, because I believe it’s not damaging anything in my body; it only enhances my look. What won’t yoMaybe clothes that show all the parts of my body; I won’t like to wear that. 

How come you don’t have tattoos? A lot of your colleagues do. Maybe it’s because I dread pains. But seriously, I don’t like it on me, because I’m like an insatiable person when it comes to having things like that on my body; today I may like a bird, and the following day I’ll get tired of that and want to change it. And aside that, in my job, you’ll have to play different roles; so it automatically restricts the number of roles you can play in a movie, so I feel as a professional actress, you shouldn’t, maybe to an extent, have a permanent thing on your body.

What is your fashion weakness? The fact is, I actually like everything when it comes to fashion; I think I’m greedy when it comes to fashion; clothes, bags, shoes, everything. 

Which one of those items do you have more? Maybe shoes, but I’ve lost count; and I hardly sleep in my room now. This morning, a thought just crossed my mind that maybe I should do something for my die-hard followers, my fans, if they don’t mind, the clothes I’ve worn not more than once, very soon I’m going to be giving them out to them. 

What is your most expensive fashion item? That will be a wrist watch, which my husband gave me in 2010, I think. 

What is that item that will really drive you crazy? That will be a body con-dress, because my husband says it shows the beautiful part in my body. 

What is that fashion item you can never leave home without? That will be my purse, asides my bag. Is your contact lens medicated? Yes it is; and I really love sunshades. 

Are you long-sightedor short-sighted? I’m short-sighted. 

Do you think you can do a movie that surpasses Osas? Of course, I’m sure Victims surpassed Osas, is that not so? Osas is very close to my heart, because it’s actually the fi rst time I was playing a comic role in a movie, and actually the fi rst time I’d got to speak my indigenous language which is Benin. But I’m very sure Victims surpassed Osas. When you did Osas, everyone knew you were really hungry for fame, which might have made you to be very active in the movie. 

Now that you’ve become a stakeholder in the movie industry, can you play such role again in movies? The only role I can never play is to act nude. But asides that I will do anything. 

Do you still have a dream role? Yes, I’ve never played an imbecile role, and I look forward to playing it in any movie. A lot of your colleagues have ventured into music and politics, would you? For music, not at all, I restrict myself to my bathroom, singing every morning because I think I don’t have the voice. Then for politics, I think there’s a chance, because I have a serious passion for the less privileged; maybe later, not now, I will do politics. 

With several speculations on social media and for the record, is Mercy Pregnant? No, I wish I was.

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Ten ways to love your ten-year-old girl

Managing kids is a taxing job any day no matter the age of the child involved. When they clock ten particularly, the job gets tougher. For girls, the responsibility is more enormous. However, you shouldn’t worry your head so much about this because all you need to do is love her. Here are some ways to love a 10 year old today and everyday as she enters a new chapter of her growing up adventure.
1. Put her at the head of the table. Your girl has things to say and she needs an audience. By making sure she gets a turn now and then at the head of the table, you let her and your family know it’s totally okay for your girl to command the attention of a room. You’ll be surprised at how savvy she is and how much she has to say about things that matter to you, too.
2. Ask her to tell you her dreams and take notes. Inside every mother is a ten year old girl trying to get out. Now is the time to give her hopes and aspirations full airtime--these tender dreams hold the keys to the truest version of her best self. Don’t be scared if she says she wants to be the next Hannah Montana touring the globe--little girl rockstar dreams have more to do with the deep wish to be seen and respected than anything else.
3. Let her glory in every single moment of inflated selfconfidence. Did she make the honour roll? Discover she can swim the length of the pool after all? Let her run with her happiness and pride as far as it will take her. Too often we encourage our girls to be demure and modest when a healthy dose of uberconfidence will take her so much further.
4. Ask other people to be quiet so she can finish her story. She’s chatty, yes, but wouldn’t you rather know every last thing on her heart instead of watch her sulk in the back of the car? Turn off your need to get her in line and take a turn listening to the twists and turn of her drama- loving life.
5. Indulge her promiscuous love of books. Turn her curiosity about grown-up things into a sophisticated knowledge of good literature. Now is the time to introduce her to the tried and true favourites of your own girlhood along with some new titles that will stretch her mind
6. Turn up the music. Though her kind of music is far different from yours, you need to play along to get the best out of her. There’s a certain kind of joy for her in this that you just can’t duplicate anywhere else.
7. Remind her she doesn’t have to be in a hurry to grow up. She’s trying out her power moves, I know--groaning and moaning when you ask the simplest thing or waiting to see if you’ll lose it if she dares give you the eye roll. Don’t forget that underneath all that attitude is a little girl who probably still needs to sit on your lap, to have you brush out her hair or hold her every once in a while as she drifts gently off to sleep. Be bold in asking for hugs and insisting on tenderness between you in quiet moments. She needs it and you do, too.
8. Institute girls’ night out. Admit it, there’s a part of you that is dying to see the latest, greatest girl movie with all the cheese whiz and over-the-top acting. Here’s your chance to do girlhood all over again, so do it right by giving your girl all the things you missed the first time around- -time alone with your mother learning what it means to be a girl from her unique perspective.
9. Be her best cover. She’s keenly aware of where your family rules fall in the continuum of lenient to strict in the kid stratosphere. Help her navigate the differences by being her best excuse when the invitations on the table feel inappropriate for your family’s sense of sensibility. The same works in reverse when she knows your invitation will be met with reserve by more cautious parents. Let her know you’ll help her not be embarrassed by the inevitable disconnects.
10. Dance with your girl like you are her mate. She’ll love laughing at your moves and you’ll be delighted to learn as she shows you a thing or two. Let her see it’s okay to be silly, to not do it right and to let your heart go- -especially for the sake of goodhearted fun.

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‘My wife uses Juju’

• I am afraid she will harm me with her charms. I am not ready to

die now; separate us before she kills me —Husband

• I used charm for prayer, not to harm him. —Wife

An Igando Customary Court in Lagos has dissolved a 40-year-old marriage between Kareem Adesina (65) and his estranged wife, Memunat, 56, over the woman’s infidelity. The court president, Mr R.I. Adeyeri, said that all efforts to reconcile the couple had proved futile, as the petitioner insisted on the divorce. “The court has no choice than to dissolve the union, in spite of the fact that the wife still claims she loves her husband. “Both parties are no longer husband and wife, they are free to go their separate ways,” he said. The court ordered that the petitioner should allow the respondent to pack her belongings in the presence of police officers and court officials. Adeyeri also ordered the petitioner to pay N50, 000 as rehabilitation cost for the respondent. Kareem had filed a suit seeking the dissolution of his marriage. He said he could no longer tolerate his wife’s regular visits to witch doctors. “My wife is very fetish and uses juju (charms). I am afraid she will harm me with her charms. “I am not ready to die now; separate us before she kills me,” he said. He also told the court that Memunat had become uncontrollable. “She goes out and returns home late, sometimes, she does not even come home,’’ Kareem said. Above all, Kareem said he no longer loved his wife. However, Memunat, 56, said that her husband abandoned her and their five children for another woman. “There was strong love between us, but when my husband married another woman, things turned upside down. “He has deserted us for the past nine years, I have been the one responsible for the upkeep of the children,” she said. The 56-year-old trader said that she used charms for prayers and not to harm the petitioner. Memunat pleaded with the court to save the marriage, saying that she still loved her husband

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Ali Baba reveals shocking entertainment secrets

‘I collected N1.5m from Satzenbrau while Fela got N500,000’

… advices upcoming musicians on how to become successful

It’s not for nothing that Ali Baba is regarded as the King of Comedy. Presently, however, he’s more than just the King of Comedy. He’s a pillar in the entertainment industry, and without him, the industry will just not be developing the way it should. So when NuffNoiz Entertainment decided to hold a boot camp for upcoming artists to educate them on how to become musically successful, Ali Baba was one of the people they approached to come and educate the greenhorn artists with his wealth of knowledge about the industry. And because of his status as one of the industry’s frontliners, he accepted to speak at the camp, despite his busy schedule, for one basic reason: he likes to support new entertainers. 

That character is already known of him in the comedy sector where he carries his fellow comedians, both the established and the upcoming, along through every necessary way he can support them. The boot camp held at Swe Bar, City Mall, Onikan, Lagos. Its kickoff time was scheduled for 10am. Ali Baba got there promptly. He got there before many of the upcoming artists who were to benefit from the camp. And because he got there on time, the organisers had no choice but to begin the camp as soon as possible with the few artists, artist managers and other music industry people who were present. 

And so Ali Baba began to mentor the upcoming artists. He expressed disappointment at the fact that entertainers don’t like to develop themselves. He said he once orgainsed a training seminar, just like the boot camp, to educate entertainers, and it wasn’t well attended. But when he held a party, more than the number of people invited came, and that was when he told them that they preferred to come to the party, rather than the training. So he adviced the boot camp attendees that they’ve to keep developing themselves, have to keep getting more and more education related to their field because talent is not enough and it has to keep being developed. Just in case some of the upcoming musicians were wondering if he was qualified to speak on music, since his area of speciality is comedy. According to him, all his years in the industry, over twenty-five of them, have made him have a sound knowledge of the music sector more than most musicians even, and he regularly carries out research on the entertainment industry just to keep himself abreast of its trends. 

“There’s no luck in this entertainment business,” he declared. “People think those who blow were lucky. No. In order to blow, you must package your talent as a service, and when you do so, people will pay for it. “To ensure that your talent becomes sought after, you must sing songs to entertain and draw people to the dance floor. You must develop your talent as there’s no talent you have that cannot be made better. “Some people are waiting for people to come and pick them up and help them become successful. It doesn’t happen like that. You have to develop yourself and then present yourself in the right manner in order to get noticed and then picked up.” With his advice connecting with his audience, he began to outline what an upcoming musician must do to become successful. “The selling points of a musician are his lyrics, the production of his song, its mixing and mastering, the type of language used in the song, the song’s rhythm and melody, live performance of the song, radio air play of the song, the quality of its music video, movies, night clubs and DJs playing it, stores, online promotion, fans and followers, awards, mixtapes, live events, interviews, music competitions, ring tones and other factors, even piracy, that an artist must engage in to ensure that his song and his brand will become successful. “But how many of you engage in all the promotional tactics I’ve mentioned?” he asked the aspiring musicians Continuing, he said, “If those things I just mentioned are what will help a song become successful, these are the ones that will kill the song. Government ban, poor production, artist himself, no air play, greedy on-air personalities, beef/swear words, absence of live performances, piracy, lack of music videos, and no radio air play. “You see, most artists don’t understand the industry. They just want to blow. They don’t think of the market which they must understand first. Part of understanding the market is that you must do songs that are for specific occasions like weddings. “If you do a wedding song, it’ll ensure that you are always able to get one wedding or the other to perform at. The same thing with a birthday song. In understanding the market, you must learn from the people before you. You must listen to your competition and do songs that will outlive the trends as showbiz is dynamic and if you stick to the same style, you’ll get lost.” He then explained that his ability to evolve is what has kept him relevant for over twenty-five years in the game. 

“When I started, I was able to realise fast that people didn’t have the patience for long jokes so I started giving them quick, short jokes, basically yabis, that I’ll yab someone, everyone laughs and I’ve moved on fast to another joke.” Concluding, he added that humility is very important for success. “You have to be very humble at all times to make it in this game and stay successful. I remember that when I started making more money than many other entertainers, I didn’t start being arrogant because I knew I was making more money than them. 

“For instance, there was a show by Satzenbrau back then that I was paid N1.5m and Fela was paid N500,000. Fela was bigger than me and I got more money than him, but I didn’t let it go to my head. So, humility is very important.”

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Why do men watch porn?

What’s with men and their porn addiction? Are you a woman who wonders why men watch porn the way they do? Well, here’s an explanation that’ll put your mind at ease. 

Most women have a problem with men and their interest in pornography. Somehow, realising that their man ogles other women in the nude seems to piss them off. Well, any normal woman would be pretty pissed off by this.

While men think porn is sexy, women think it’s obscene and tacky. Men think porn is a way to see many more naked women without really being unfaithful. Women think watching porn is infidelity! Now, not all men and all women feel this way. But certainly, most of them do.

Why can’t a man just watch his woman in bed?

A man could sit up in bed and stare at the beautiful woman sleeping in bed with him, and he may do that too. But he could do that anytime he wants, so really, where’s the novelty in that?

Women should know that most men don’t watch porn every single night. They do it now and then, most often when they’re feeling bored. And even when they watch naked women online or in tapes, they don’t always see the same girls again and again.

Why do men like porn?

Men like porn for a lot of reasons. Here are a few that could help you understand his interest in all things naked.

He gets to see more boobs

A man can never see enough of boobs. All breasts may seem like the same for women, but those subtle dissimilarities between one pair and another make the men want to see all of them. 

He gets to learn new things in bed

Most of the time, men watch porn only to satisfy themselves. But every now and then, men watch porn because it’s funny or completely unique. It’s a fun pastime that men enjoy.

He thinks it adds to the pleasure of masturbation 

Almost all men have spent a big part of their single life with the little boy in their pants. And every now and then, he misses the times he’s spent with the little guy. Hanging out with his hands in his shorts can at times, even feel a lot better than sex. There’s no stress, and the fun time can stretch on for hours. And the best part, he gets to see so many naked women while having fun at the same time.

 He is curious

Every time a man sees an attractive and desirable woman, one of the first things he does is wonder how she looks beneath her clothes. With so much curiosity, it’s easy to imagine why men can’t wait to see and learn about different women’s body parts. 

Will your guy watching porn affect your relationship?

No. His interest in watching porn has nothing to do with the relationship status. To a man, porn isn’t his way of cheating on you or fantasising about other women. It’s just one of his favorite pastimes when he’s feeling restless or bored.

But will he ever compare you to a porn star he likes? It’s obvious he will. Has he ever asked you to try something new or kinky in bed all of a sudden? It’s probably an inspiration from pornography. But whether he compares you or not, a man’s mind is developed enough to realise that what he sees in porn isn’t real, at least to him. It’s just a fantasy girl stripping herself off and moaning at everything she sees. And men like it!

Will he love you less because he sees other naked women?

No. Somehow, watching porn doesn’t seem to affect most men, unless they’re addicted to it and can’t live without it. No research or scientist has been able to conclusively prove the real reason behind why men like porn just yet. Perhaps, it’s just his desire to see more naked women 

 and feel good about it. After all, no man is ever satisfied with the number of naked women he sees in his lifetime.

Should a woman be bothered by his curiosity?

Don’t be. Men hardly ever think their interest in porn qualifies as cheating. Instead, cuddle up with him and watch a few movies yourself. 

Think of it this way: A woman watches romantic movies all the time. And she would definitely be able to relate to the feelings of love and affection the actors share on screen. A woman may enjoy the movie, but does that mean she’s falling for the actor in the movie because she felt all those emotions?

She may even wish her man was more like the romantic actor in the movie. But does that really change anything in real life? No!

And that’s the same thing with men and porn. They may watch women flaunting their assets in pornography, but they soon forget all about it. 

Now that you know why men watch porn, relax and stop worrying about it. It’s just a movie and those boobs are just another pair of several breasts that he’ll admire in his lifetime. At the end of the day, you’re the beautiful woman he sleeps with and he likes his life just the way it is! Well…hopefully!

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How young are you?

There are seven categories of aging. With age as such a crucial feature of a person’s identity, we are at loss as to who the person is, if we lack such information. Yet, age as society perceives it, is not a very good indication of knowing a lot about a person. Think of the older-than-her-years hyper mature 15-year-old who could easily pass for 22. How about the older adult who lives down the street from you whose sprightly step would rival that of someone 40 years her junior?

It’s time to throw aside this narrow and imprecise measure of your identity and move on to the next step, which is to calculate your true age. As it turns out, your true age will not be a simple number, but a combination of where you stand along seven dimensions. In a nutshell, age is multidimensional.

So what are the seven categories of age?

First is chronological age, which is defined as the number of years a person has lived. This is the one we’re all very familiar with.

So the big question is how old are you? And you will answer; I am so many years, months, and days old. Because of the ease and familiarity everyone has with chronological age, many tests and programmes are based around it. Most 5-year olds are ready for kindergarten; most 16-year olds have matured enough to drive; and many 65-year olds are ready to retire.

Chronological age is just a rough indication of age; it’s just the most convenient way.

Biological or physical age, which is a description of an individual’s development based on biomarkers, a recordable molecular or cellular event like blood pressure, respiratory capacity, aerobic power, blood glucose levels, etc. Here we’re looking at the individuals as they are, not necessarily when they were born. Physical aging can be described by grey hair, wrinkled skin, fragile body, hazy eyes. It is age of our bodies in regards to critical life signs.

Psychological age, which is the perception of how old one feels. This is about ones mental outlook on life. For example, a person who is older may feel younger and vice versa. Psychological age is thus not necessarily equal to chronological age. A person can, therefore, have a psychological age that exceeds their chronological age if they are mature or at least feel older than they really are. This may be common in adolescence when young teens that feel older than they really are engaged in behaviours typical of late teens and early adults.

Emotional age is about how we adjust to circumstances that cause us to be rational or irrational. How we handle conflict and resolve misunderstandings are markers for our emotional maturity. Emotional age may follow chronological age, or may lag behind, or be ahead.

Intellectual age is how we think critically about ourselves and the world around us. Are we open or closed minded? The ability to reason and think critically can benefit our life experiences. Staying updated, flexible and curious about life can help to develop a youthful level of intelligence.

Social age: This reflects your position along the so-called “social clock” of life. The social clock is based on the set of expectations that people in a given culture have about when life’s major events “should” occur. We can divide the social clock into the two major areas of life: family and work. The family social clock of our culture expects that people become parents at some point in their late 20s or early 30s, at which point they also are married or in a serious relationship. We become grandparents, according to this clock, in our 60s, reflecting the fact that our children are following a similar social clock. The work social clock says that we graduate from secondary school in our late teens, and then from university a few years later, at which point we start our career. We retire in our 60s, and at that point the work social clock stops ticking.

Functional age: It is defined as a combination of chronological, biological, social, intellectual and psychological ages. Here, instead of focusing on one aspect at a time, we are summarizing them to create a more holistic picture of a person. Functional age would give you the clearest understanding of a person.

This type of age is not often used because you will need a lot of expert input to give the clearest understanding of how old the person is.

Food for thought

How old do you feel? Forget what the calendar says, and even forget what your functional ages are.

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Project Fame provided me platform to meet people –Ruky Olotu

Ruky Olotu is the first-runner-up Project Fame Season 7 ( 2014); the talented female artiste talks about her new video ‘Show Them’ released by her group R-CUBE and other vital issues in this interview  

Can you tell us more about your life after Project Fame?
It has been interesting, Project Fame provided me the platform to meet other people and really enter the music industry and because of that I was that, I was able to meet quite a number of celebrities and music stars. In all, it’s been good after Project Fame. For me, personally I’ve learned so much and become a bit comfortable. I’ve actually been happier after Project Fame and more confident and happier.

Was Project Fame instrumental to your singing career?
I did a couple of songs back in 2010 before the 2014 auditioning. Because I was still in school, I was not able to focus but I had already started singing but that also helped me because I was already doing music then I met people who now directed me to apply for Project Fame.

How many albums do you have to your credit?
I don’t have any album yet. We are still working on that. What we are trying to do is to at least bring a few singles that would circulate the market before we bring out the album. That is what we are doing at this level.

Could you tell us more about the group R-CUBE?
R-CUBE is a girl band group which consists of me, my sister and cousins Rouna and Rubunu, we just shot a video. I just released it last week and it is on promotional level and we are still trying to get more radio play. As soon as this single is out there in the market and people are hearing it, we may not even waste time before we will bring out more.

What is the song all about?
The song “Show Them” is basically a contract between me and the person that will wear the Versace dress that he bought from Aba market and the person who wears a Versace dress that he bought from a Versace shop. They will wear it and people might not even know the difference. They will wear it and will go to the same place and event and we were like, whatever you value and whatever you have, you should offer the world. You don’t have to go and kill but we should be content with what we have and show it out confidently. We highlighted everything like if I’m wearing a Brazilian hair or if I’m wearing a human hair, it doesn’t matter, it is your choice really. People are driving Mercedes Benz and you are entering Keke Napep, it doesn’t matter, Show Them.

What do think is unique in your songs that will make you create impact in the music industry?
First of all, we want to start by bringing our music with what people can see even if they are in primary school and we want to reach out to the younger group and to our age group as well. The thing that will make us stand out is because of the fusion in our music- how we mix the genres together because I’m more of the RnB, jazz and pop. People say I’m pop. My sister is RnB and Reggae and then my cousin is jazz and soul. Listening to our songs, you will hear the difference generally that we combine into one song to make it work.

What challenges are you confronted with and how do you intend to overcome them?
My present challenges right now is first of all circulation and getting my music to a wide range of listeners and viewers. Basically the marketing, I can say that is the biggest challenge and if I can get a setup that will really help push the songs out there, that would be really nice- people that have the right channel, big promoters, people that know what they are doing and have done it before.

What are your plans, do you want to go fully into music or you want to practice your profession?
My profession is still there and I intend to use what I studied in school to help me with some areas of what I’m doing but for now I want to focus on my music.

After Project Fame, have you had other performances?
Yes, we have performed in Freedom Park, Lagos, we have performed in Industry Line, we have performed in MTN Project Fame and a couple of other performances as a group.

Do you have plans of remaining as a group or as Ruky?
I’m Ruky in R-CUBE and we still want to express individuality so that when people are listening to us, they could differentiate who is who that is singing and also when we decide to do our singles people can choose anyone us they want to preferably listen to. In R-CUBE, we want to have dynamism- a particular way of handling things.

Where do you hope to see Ruky in the next three years?
MTV Award, BET Awards, Grammy Awards and others by God’s grace. I intend to have been able to gotten a name out there that when they hear a song, they will know I sang it and be able to reach very far even across Africa. I want my song to heard across, Kenya, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Ghana etc.

You are youth corps member, a musician and an artiste. How do you combine these three personalities?
That is not easy at all. Sometimes, I don’t even feel like I’m an artiste. Sometimes, I get uncomfortable and angry maybe if they just wake me up that I have to perform somewhere in a particular radio station and maybe I have my NYSC CDS the next morning; this is very annoying. It is not that easy to double that entire but I am hoping to be better and hoping to learn.

So far have you faced any form of harassment in the industry?
I’m very much aware of that and I don’t want to say that I’m dating but put myself in a situation whereby that wouldn’t happen or I might not come across that. So I’m that it wouldn’t happen to us and the fact that we are all girls, that may be a disadvantage but we want to dwell on the trend that we have as a group and see how we can build on that and avoid such.

Who is or are your role models in the music industry both in Nigeria and outside?
First of all, I have the Mary Mary Sisters. They had a huge influence on me while I was growing up and my younger sister. I have Grandy, Beyonce, Kelly Rowland, Mary Debrde. In Nigeria I would mention Eva, Waje and Omawumi.

Are you planning to go for any reality show again in the future?
No I don’t. Could you tell us more about yourself? I studied Business Information Systems at the University of East London. I love to dance, to sing, and to make new cool friends.

What advice do you have for the young ones who would like to tow your line?

You think about what you want to do and what kind of song you want to sing about and believe that is your calling and if it is, don’t let anyone talk you out of it. Don’t let anything discourage you and push forward and put everything in the hands of God. Be positive, do good and never lose faith. If you believe, then you would see.

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