Do men honestly fall in love?

Hmmm…most people es­pecially women act as if love or rather the act of falling in love is a gender thing. They behave as if men are heart­less or our heart is made of stone and we can’t feel anything. This is why this may be one of the most commonly asked questions by women of all ages. Do men hon­estly fall in love? For me, I do have a very different take on what love is and how individuals should act while being in love and what is not love, but for the sake of answering this question, I’ll use the word “Love” to mean roman­tic attraction and sexual chemis­try between a man and a woman though loving and being in love goes beyond romantic attraction and expression or sexual chemis­try with me.

What is funny is that the way both genders fall in love is differ­ent but a lot of women expects the stereotypical way that they know of by them as the only way to fall in love and anyone who doesn’t conform to that way can never know how to fall in love or what love truly means. Unknown to a majority of women, men fall in love at first sight even more frequently than women do. While within the first fifteen seconds of meeting someone for the very first time, a woman would have decid­ed sub-consciously if she will give a guy a chance for him to try to make her fall in love with him or not, in the same amount of time, a man will decide if he loves how a woman looks or not. It is based on his visual reassurances that a man will most likely unconscious­ly make his decisions of falling in love and it doesn’t take much con­viction unlike a woman who has to be proven to in so many ways to trust a man’s intentions. If a man is not physically attracted to you, trying to make him “fall in love” with you is really like trying to wake up a dead horse because you’ll only be seeing what you alone want to see and believe. And lest we forget, men don’t lie about that, they will always let you know they find you attractive and will be very plain and straight-forward too about it.

Most women believe because most men come out with the truth on how they fell in love with their partner it cannot be real love. But come to think of it, don’t we all love having a partner we can all show to our friends like prized gifts from God? It is really double standards on the part of women to say that because men’s loving starts from visuals, then it can’t be real love. I for one will not want to be with a woman who apart from intellectually stimulating my mind will not visually stimu­late my eyes. And yes I know that this may not be really fair to those women who may not be visually attractive to me. But the truth is that it’s because they weren’t vi­sually attractive to me in the first instance that made me not to fall in love with them or with every woman I see on the streets or I meet regularly. It is basically the same with women who will use emotional and present or future financial viability safety as an unconscious or conscious reason for falling in love with their part­ner. And let’s not delude ourselves here without being able to face the truth, every woman must either be sure of her man being able to satisfy her emotional, psychologi­cal or emotional needs before she can commit herself to that man.

In conclusion, a man will stay in love with a woman because of the way she makes him feel start­ing from what he saw. It’s differ­ent for each man, depending on his needs. A guy who feels good being in charge will respond to a more docile female, while a guy who hates making decisions will go for a bossy girl. If he needs to feel like crap, he’ll end up with a woman who will do him the favour of dealing him a load of it. Does he need to feel superior? He’ll hold out for the insecure mouse. It’s about how HE feels when he’s with her. But in all we really are not different. For if a man is get­ting his emotional needs met, a woman will look, sound, and smell like a queen. He won’t necessarily get what he deserves, but he’ll get what he needs, whether he realizes it or not. Relationships work when partners recognize the emotional forces that brought them together and are both willing to work on themselves and the union.

Not really -by: JACQUI IWU

What a question huh? While typing this top­ic i was tempeted to say ‘’NO’’ but i thought about it deeply and as i continue to type, i still feel a kind of whizzy about this sensi­tive question. Saying ‘yes’ either will not satisfy me seeing all the sil­ly games men play with women in the romance and marriage depart­ment of life. So do not box me into a corner to choose or else i will go for a ‘NO’. Am jinxed with this topic… aren’t i…..???? so what i will do here is just to spill exactly how i feel about the whole love stuff regard­ing our own present generation. Yea ..sure…you do not expect me to use the cave men generation to relate to this …afterall..i never met any of them huh? I am just going to use the generation i met in my own life time to deal with this brain hack of a question today. By the way, if you still feel strongly about this topic or my take on it, join our Saturday Breakfast meeting in Abuja and be part of our ‘’Meet-Greet’’ forum. Here you will have opportunity to share your opinion on a whole lot of issues like this one Let’s roll!!!!!!

Loving someone could be de­scribed in so many ways. Again people love for different reasons. Now focusing on men and asking if they really love honestly brings to the point of how men conduct themselves these days when they are attarcted to a woman. Most men actually cannot differenciate between crush/love/lust. How can you meet a woman today, in two days time you are talking of sleep­ing with her and having sex? What is this? In the process of your rant­ing, you will say- ‘’i love you’’ more than hundered times just to see if the woman will fall for your tricks. Yes, it is a trick because for you to actually love someone honestly, you must have to court/date that per­son to get to know her very well. Again i do not believe honest love is instant. Love at first sight? Crap!! Bullshit!!!! Maybe in the olden days but not these days as we talk! Hon­est love has a lot to do with apprea­ciating both the good and bad sides of a person so how can you meet a woman for the first time and you stupidly blurt out the words- i love you? You do not even know if she is a mermaid, a ghost for crying out loud…what do you know of some­one you just met for you to say…i love you? Like i said earlier, my an­swer for today’s topic keeps leading to a NO answer but for the sake of few men…just few men…. i will put in a fight for them. There are still some men but very-very few who can comfortably love a woman in all honesty. When you see and meet such men, you will be asking where they come from….if they are actu­ally humans or angels from heaven. These men are interested in having you around them and sharing life issues with you and you can hardly hear them bother or ask you for sex till after a long time they have been seeing you. They are concerned about your welfare and always will­ing to sacrifice to make you happy to their own detriment. The last thing they will do is to make you sad or fool you. Such men are evn afraid to kiss you or make stupid sexual moves in your early stag­es of relationship. Their love goes deeper than the erotic love…they just love who you are….your entire being and are just satisfied seeing you…hearing your voice. Damn…. how many men are like this these days? How many? Just few of them around and you do not find them easily. The type of men you see ev­erywhere are all those crude ones who are confusing themselves with love/crush/lust and looking for women to put into romantic coma without any care in the world. If you are not willing to give in to their sexual demands, their stupid love song, you are history! So you see folks….we have more men who crush than love. They crush hon­estly but hardly love honestly. If you still feel am not making sense here, tell me the reason why a man meets a woman today and all he de­sires for the next few days is sex? Is this honest love? Those few men who still love honestly have actaul­ly saved all the lust male sharks from my bullet today or else most of you who fall into this category would have swore! So i urge you good guys to keep being decent and loving….some of us out here still appreciate your honesty