‘My wife abandoned me for her career ’

A 38-year-old engineer, Abimbola Adebayo, has told an Ikeja Customary Court in Lagos that his wife packed out of their home two months after they had a quarrel. Abimbola was responding to a divorce suit filed by his 35-year-old wife, Omoniyi. He said that his family was living in peace until last year when he lost his job. “My wife is too stubborn and just too materialistic.

I was the one who got her the job she is doing presently. But after we got married, I told her it will be better she becomes self employed so that she will have enough time for herself and the children. She refused to listen to me. I even promised I was going to open a big supermarket for her to manage but she insisted on continuing with the job. This was the cause of our quarrel.

I returned from work one day only to find out that she had packed her things and left with our seven-year old boy without my consent. “When I called her, she told me she was no longer interested in the marriage and that she could not continue to cope with me and my unnecessary demands.
All attempts to reach her again proved abortive as she had changed her telephone number.” Omoniyi told the court that he was taking good care of his family until he lost the job. He submitted that he gave her all the comfort he could afford, yet she was unyielding. Abimbola also accused Omoniyi of infidelity, saying that she was secretly dating another man. He consented to the dissolution of the 10-year marriage, saying that he was no longer interested in being married to Omoniyi. Omoniyi, a telecom engineer, had filed a divorce suit, claiming that Abimbola was irresponsible and a womanizer. “My husband is a womanizer and goes after anything in skirt. I even caught him with my niece in a compromising situation in our matrimonial home” she said. She added that Abimbola’s allegations were just a tissue of lies, saying, “He is lying against me just because he is jealous of me and wants to render me useless, which was why he is insisting on my resigning from my place of work.”

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‘My wife is pregnant for another man’

• As I speak with you, she is carrying another man’s child. All I want is for the court to dissolve this

marriage and grant me custody of my children —Husband

• I want this court to dissolve the marriage. I am tired —Wife

Fortyseven-year-old Captain Kliffy Madueke told the Ikeja Customary Court that he wants his fifteen year marriage to Mercy, a banker dissolved on the grounds of adultery and disrespect to him. According to the flight captain, his wife has been cheating on him with several men. He said, “I want this honourable court to dissolve this marriage because this woman has been so ungrateful to me. She cheats on me with another man and as I am speaking with you, she is carrying another man’s child.

I want this court to dissolve the union and grant me custody of my two children who are 15 and 13 years old respectively” Madueke further disclosed that he had tried to cope with her laziness for years, hoping that she would change, but that has not been the case. “She is extremely lazy. I will return home after flying for hours and sometimes for days and will have to start cooking what to eat. She would even join me in eating the food without batting an eyelid. She is so insensitive.

This has caused several quarrels between us over the years. Precisely a year ago, she packed her things and left the house, saying she could not stand our quarrels anymore. She, however, left with very important documents, including my international passport, my children’s international passport, my flight licence and other vital documents and my SUV vehicle because I was not at home when she left. “When I noticed the absence of my documents and my car, I went to her father’s house where she went to and collected my stuff from her. She was not willing to let go until I threatened to ensure that she lost her job, because I was the one who got the job for her in the first place.

After sometime, because of the children, I went back to her to plead that she should come back home so we could start our lives on a new slate. She refused and said she was through with me. I did this for over three months with no result, only for me to discover that she was actually seeing another man. As I speak with you, she is carrying another man’s child. All I want is for the court to dissolve this marriage and grant me cus tody of my children.” Mercy, on the other hand, denied all the allegations levelled against her by her husband, adding that she also wants the union to be dissolved because she was tired of the constant quarrel. “I am not pregnant for anybody and I am not dating anybody. But I want this marriage dissolved because I am tired of the constant quarrels and pain.” “He is adulterous. He sleeps with everything in skirt.

I stopped hiring house helps because he sleeps with them. He cheats on me even to my face. I want this court to dissolve the marriage, I am tired.” After listening to both parties, the case was adjourned for further hearing by the court president, Mr. Sam Aluko.

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Why I don’t have tattoos – Mercy Aigbe

Mercy Aigbe-Gentry keeps notching her fame higher. The amiable actress won the Yoruba Movie Personality of The Year at the City People Awards last week. Married to a hotelier and businessman Lanre Gentry, the mother of two has successfully managed both her career and the home front. In this chat with AJIBADE ALABI, the Osas and Komfo star speaks about her new work Victims, beauty secrets and other issues.

Congratulations on your new award. How did you feel winning it? I was very happy and excited winning the Yoruba Movie personality of the Year 2015 (smiles). That’s another feather to my cap, to God be the glory. And I just want to thank all my fans who voted for me; I was simply happy. There’s this thing about awards; it actually makes you sit back and think there is something one is doing right somewhere; I mean some people are noticing what I am doing, so it makes you want to put more effort.

Considering other nominees with you, did you feel you were going to win? Well, just being nominated alone was a great honour, it’s not easy. It was like fifty; if I won, fine; if I didn’t, just being nominated was just enough for me, and thank God I eventually won; everybody wants to win. 

What exactly is your movie ‘ Victims’ about?

‘Victims’ is about a young lady who has to go through a lot of things in life; things she didn’t call for. A lot of people experience things that it’s not like they brought it upon themselves. I would say it’s probably fate, providence or destiny. So she had to go through a lot of things and how she dealt with the issues. It’s a very emotional, intriguing movie; full of suspense. It’s a movie I belief once it eventually comes out and people get to see it, they are just going to love it. It’s a movie that teaches lots of morals, it talks to parents and also talks about marriage, because I believe that today, people don’t really respect the institution marriage, and people who are not patient enough to want bear so many things that come with being in union with another person. They forget that we are different individuals from different backgrounds with different upbringing, so they are not ready to compromise; so many things, they are just not ready. That’s why most marriages don’t work out. It also talks about domestic

violence, the home; it’s simply a bumper package and I’m sure people are just going to love it. 

Are you saying it is a life experience? No, it’s actually based on different people’s experiences; stories I heard from different people, so I decided to put all together in one package. And there’s this particular thing we talked about in the movie; that’s the baby factory issue; when you have fake doctors go on the streets to pick up teenagers, giving them the hope that they are going to get rehabilitated whereas they are going to use them for their own selfish needs; get them impregnated, sell the babies. So, those are part of the things you’re going to see in the movie. 

What informed bringing Saheed and Fathia Balogun together on that set? Both are fantastic actor and actress, they have been in the industry for a long time, they are both my senior colleagues; people I respect so much; each of them has carved a niche for themselves in the industry. So, when I was casting, I saw that these two individuals can actually play the roles I want them to play perfectly well in the movie, that was why I casted them. They are professionals and they actually gave me their best. If you were on that set, you would have gotten the better picture. Also the Ghanaian, Juliet Ibrahim, was excited playing that role. Learning a new language was thrilling for her. You know there’s something about it when you are doing something different from the usual; it’s always very exciting and adventurous. So she was very happy playing the role, and it was very good having her on set; she gave in her best and I was very happy working with her. 

You also got Lancelot Imaseun as your director? Oh my God (her face glowed), Lancelot! Okay I don’t want to sound tribalistic anyway, but he’s my big uncle because he is also from Benin which is my tribe. Besides that, we all know that he is someone to reckon with when it comes to directing in

Nollywood. He has paid his dues, he’s a fantastic director. Before the Victims, I was on set in Benin for a movie titled Two Sides of a Coin and it was a different experience for me because he is an artistic director who knows how to give you what you really want on set; brings out the best in you eventually. So after that set, I was like oh my next job, I’ll love this man to direct it; so when the script came I sent it to him, he read it and he said “oh this is a fantastic script, I want to do it.” And he was also excited because it was his first Yoruba job. ‘Victims’ is sixty percent Yoruba, forty percent English movie. And he was really excited because he was going to be working with different people. So it was very exciting to work with him. 

Your fashion sense, how did you create it? I’ve always loved looking good. I’ve always loved gett ing complements from people about my looks. I’m also a person who loves pictures; I love to dress up and take pictures

of myself. 

When you are stepping out, how long does it take to makeup? It doesn’t really take look. But obviously, event takes much time than my daily makeup.

Like how many hours does it take? Approximately two and a half hours, because makeup artists take so much time on your face, I really don’t know why! I think the fastest makeup artist that has worked on my face spent nothing less than an hour, thirty minutes; some actually take up to three hours and I’ll be like ‘I’m tired!’ That was why I said two-and-a-half hours. Dress for about an hour; make sure everything is fi xed in the right places; get the other ones too that are very important. But for my everyday look, I try as much as possible to pick up whatever I want to wear the night before. At times, my mood determines my dress. 

The last time, you said you are also launching your own hair line? Yes, now we have Magdiva Hair, which is going to be launched very soon. We have different types of hair. I have my own cosmetic line; it’s just about beauty. We guys in Nigeria have complained about some girls looking like impersonators too often; when you meet them, they will look like white, but when you get to know them properly, you discover they are actually black. 

You are into fashion, what do you have to say about this deceitful appearance? It depends on the individual, and I’ve always respected people’s opinion and how they choose to live their life. If you feel you are dark and you want to make yourself lighter; if that will earn you confidence and comfort, I’d say go for it, but do not damage your skin in the process. I keep telling my clients that my products are not chemical based, they are made of herbs, so you don’t need to exercise fear over my products. In the process of looking for comfort and confidence however, please do not get your life affected, because a lot of people have lost their lives because of this. And as for men who fall victim of the impersonators, I think the ladies are actually giving you what you want, so please appreciate people with dark, naturally looking girls. Therefore, guys are to blame for their actions. So on this note; we are going to go into men’s fashion in the nearest future. 

Are you a subscriber to waist trainer? Yes I am, because I believe it’s not damaging anything in my body; it only enhances my look. What won’t yoMaybe clothes that show all the parts of my body; I won’t like to wear that. 

How come you don’t have tattoos? A lot of your colleagues do. Maybe it’s because I dread pains. But seriously, I don’t like it on me, because I’m like an insatiable person when it comes to having things like that on my body; today I may like a bird, and the following day I’ll get tired of that and want to change it. And aside that, in my job, you’ll have to play different roles; so it automatically restricts the number of roles you can play in a movie, so I feel as a professional actress, you shouldn’t, maybe to an extent, have a permanent thing on your body.

What is your fashion weakness? The fact is, I actually like everything when it comes to fashion; I think I’m greedy when it comes to fashion; clothes, bags, shoes, everything. 

Which one of those items do you have more? Maybe shoes, but I’ve lost count; and I hardly sleep in my room now. This morning, a thought just crossed my mind that maybe I should do something for my die-hard followers, my fans, if they don’t mind, the clothes I’ve worn not more than once, very soon I’m going to be giving them out to them. 

What is your most expensive fashion item? That will be a wrist watch, which my husband gave me in 2010, I think. 

What is that item that will really drive you crazy? That will be a body con-dress, because my husband says it shows the beautiful part in my body. 

What is that fashion item you can never leave home without? That will be my purse, asides my bag. Is your contact lens medicated? Yes it is; and I really love sunshades. 

Are you long-sightedor short-sighted? I’m short-sighted. 

Do you think you can do a movie that surpasses Osas? Of course, I’m sure Victims surpassed Osas, is that not so? Osas is very close to my heart, because it’s actually the fi rst time I was playing a comic role in a movie, and actually the fi rst time I’d got to speak my indigenous language which is Benin. But I’m very sure Victims surpassed Osas. When you did Osas, everyone knew you were really hungry for fame, which might have made you to be very active in the movie. 

Now that you’ve become a stakeholder in the movie industry, can you play such role again in movies? The only role I can never play is to act nude. But asides that I will do anything. 

Do you still have a dream role? Yes, I’ve never played an imbecile role, and I look forward to playing it in any movie. A lot of your colleagues have ventured into music and politics, would you? For music, not at all, I restrict myself to my bathroom, singing every morning because I think I don’t have the voice. Then for politics, I think there’s a chance, because I have a serious passion for the less privileged; maybe later, not now, I will do politics. 

With several speculations on social media and for the record, is Mercy Pregnant? No, I wish I was.

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Ten ways to love your ten-year-old girl

Managing kids is a taxing job any day no matter the age of the child involved. When they clock ten particularly, the job gets tougher. For girls, the responsibility is more enormous. However, you shouldn’t worry your head so much about this because all you need to do is love her. Here are some ways to love a 10 year old today and everyday as she enters a new chapter of her growing up adventure.
1. Put her at the head of the table. Your girl has things to say and she needs an audience. By making sure she gets a turn now and then at the head of the table, you let her and your family know it’s totally okay for your girl to command the attention of a room. You’ll be surprised at how savvy she is and how much she has to say about things that matter to you, too.
2. Ask her to tell you her dreams and take notes. Inside every mother is a ten year old girl trying to get out. Now is the time to give her hopes and aspirations full airtime--these tender dreams hold the keys to the truest version of her best self. Don’t be scared if she says she wants to be the next Hannah Montana touring the globe--little girl rockstar dreams have more to do with the deep wish to be seen and respected than anything else.
3. Let her glory in every single moment of inflated selfconfidence. Did she make the honour roll? Discover she can swim the length of the pool after all? Let her run with her happiness and pride as far as it will take her. Too often we encourage our girls to be demure and modest when a healthy dose of uberconfidence will take her so much further.
4. Ask other people to be quiet so she can finish her story. She’s chatty, yes, but wouldn’t you rather know every last thing on her heart instead of watch her sulk in the back of the car? Turn off your need to get her in line and take a turn listening to the twists and turn of her drama- loving life.
5. Indulge her promiscuous love of books. Turn her curiosity about grown-up things into a sophisticated knowledge of good literature. Now is the time to introduce her to the tried and true favourites of your own girlhood along with some new titles that will stretch her mind
6. Turn up the music. Though her kind of music is far different from yours, you need to play along to get the best out of her. There’s a certain kind of joy for her in this that you just can’t duplicate anywhere else.
7. Remind her she doesn’t have to be in a hurry to grow up. She’s trying out her power moves, I know--groaning and moaning when you ask the simplest thing or waiting to see if you’ll lose it if she dares give you the eye roll. Don’t forget that underneath all that attitude is a little girl who probably still needs to sit on your lap, to have you brush out her hair or hold her every once in a while as she drifts gently off to sleep. Be bold in asking for hugs and insisting on tenderness between you in quiet moments. She needs it and you do, too.
8. Institute girls’ night out. Admit it, there’s a part of you that is dying to see the latest, greatest girl movie with all the cheese whiz and over-the-top acting. Here’s your chance to do girlhood all over again, so do it right by giving your girl all the things you missed the first time around- -time alone with your mother learning what it means to be a girl from her unique perspective.
9. Be her best cover. She’s keenly aware of where your family rules fall in the continuum of lenient to strict in the kid stratosphere. Help her navigate the differences by being her best excuse when the invitations on the table feel inappropriate for your family’s sense of sensibility. The same works in reverse when she knows your invitation will be met with reserve by more cautious parents. Let her know you’ll help her not be embarrassed by the inevitable disconnects.
10. Dance with your girl like you are her mate. She’ll love laughing at your moves and you’ll be delighted to learn as she shows you a thing or two. Let her see it’s okay to be silly, to not do it right and to let your heart go- -especially for the sake of goodhearted fun.

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‘My wife uses Juju’

• I am afraid she will harm me with her charms. I am not ready to

die now; separate us before she kills me —Husband

• I used charm for prayer, not to harm him. —Wife

An Igando Customary Court in Lagos has dissolved a 40-year-old marriage between Kareem Adesina (65) and his estranged wife, Memunat, 56, over the woman’s infidelity. The court president, Mr R.I. Adeyeri, said that all efforts to reconcile the couple had proved futile, as the petitioner insisted on the divorce. “The court has no choice than to dissolve the union, in spite of the fact that the wife still claims she loves her husband. “Both parties are no longer husband and wife, they are free to go their separate ways,” he said. The court ordered that the petitioner should allow the respondent to pack her belongings in the presence of police officers and court officials. Adeyeri also ordered the petitioner to pay N50, 000 as rehabilitation cost for the respondent. Kareem had filed a suit seeking the dissolution of his marriage. He said he could no longer tolerate his wife’s regular visits to witch doctors. “My wife is very fetish and uses juju (charms). I am afraid she will harm me with her charms. “I am not ready to die now; separate us before she kills me,” he said. He also told the court that Memunat had become uncontrollable. “She goes out and returns home late, sometimes, she does not even come home,’’ Kareem said. Above all, Kareem said he no longer loved his wife. However, Memunat, 56, said that her husband abandoned her and their five children for another woman. “There was strong love between us, but when my husband married another woman, things turned upside down. “He has deserted us for the past nine years, I have been the one responsible for the upkeep of the children,” she said. The 56-year-old trader said that she used charms for prayers and not to harm the petitioner. Memunat pleaded with the court to save the marriage, saying that she still loved her husband

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Ali Baba reveals shocking entertainment secrets

‘I collected N1.5m from Satzenbrau while Fela got N500,000’

… advices upcoming musicians on how to become successful

It’s not for nothing that Ali Baba is regarded as the King of Comedy. Presently, however, he’s more than just the King of Comedy. He’s a pillar in the entertainment industry, and without him, the industry will just not be developing the way it should. So when NuffNoiz Entertainment decided to hold a boot camp for upcoming artists to educate them on how to become musically successful, Ali Baba was one of the people they approached to come and educate the greenhorn artists with his wealth of knowledge about the industry. And because of his status as one of the industry’s frontliners, he accepted to speak at the camp, despite his busy schedule, for one basic reason: he likes to support new entertainers. 

That character is already known of him in the comedy sector where he carries his fellow comedians, both the established and the upcoming, along through every necessary way he can support them. The boot camp held at Swe Bar, City Mall, Onikan, Lagos. Its kickoff time was scheduled for 10am. Ali Baba got there promptly. He got there before many of the upcoming artists who were to benefit from the camp. And because he got there on time, the organisers had no choice but to begin the camp as soon as possible with the few artists, artist managers and other music industry people who were present. 

And so Ali Baba began to mentor the upcoming artists. He expressed disappointment at the fact that entertainers don’t like to develop themselves. He said he once orgainsed a training seminar, just like the boot camp, to educate entertainers, and it wasn’t well attended. But when he held a party, more than the number of people invited came, and that was when he told them that they preferred to come to the party, rather than the training. So he adviced the boot camp attendees that they’ve to keep developing themselves, have to keep getting more and more education related to their field because talent is not enough and it has to keep being developed. Just in case some of the upcoming musicians were wondering if he was qualified to speak on music, since his area of speciality is comedy. According to him, all his years in the industry, over twenty-five of them, have made him have a sound knowledge of the music sector more than most musicians even, and he regularly carries out research on the entertainment industry just to keep himself abreast of its trends. 

“There’s no luck in this entertainment business,” he declared. “People think those who blow were lucky. No. In order to blow, you must package your talent as a service, and when you do so, people will pay for it. “To ensure that your talent becomes sought after, you must sing songs to entertain and draw people to the dance floor. You must develop your talent as there’s no talent you have that cannot be made better. “Some people are waiting for people to come and pick them up and help them become successful. It doesn’t happen like that. You have to develop yourself and then present yourself in the right manner in order to get noticed and then picked up.” With his advice connecting with his audience, he began to outline what an upcoming musician must do to become successful. “The selling points of a musician are his lyrics, the production of his song, its mixing and mastering, the type of language used in the song, the song’s rhythm and melody, live performance of the song, radio air play of the song, the quality of its music video, movies, night clubs and DJs playing it, stores, online promotion, fans and followers, awards, mixtapes, live events, interviews, music competitions, ring tones and other factors, even piracy, that an artist must engage in to ensure that his song and his brand will become successful. “But how many of you engage in all the promotional tactics I’ve mentioned?” he asked the aspiring musicians Continuing, he said, “If those things I just mentioned are what will help a song become successful, these are the ones that will kill the song. Government ban, poor production, artist himself, no air play, greedy on-air personalities, beef/swear words, absence of live performances, piracy, lack of music videos, and no radio air play. “You see, most artists don’t understand the industry. They just want to blow. They don’t think of the market which they must understand first. Part of understanding the market is that you must do songs that are for specific occasions like weddings. “If you do a wedding song, it’ll ensure that you are always able to get one wedding or the other to perform at. The same thing with a birthday song. In understanding the market, you must learn from the people before you. You must listen to your competition and do songs that will outlive the trends as showbiz is dynamic and if you stick to the same style, you’ll get lost.” He then explained that his ability to evolve is what has kept him relevant for over twenty-five years in the game. 

“When I started, I was able to realise fast that people didn’t have the patience for long jokes so I started giving them quick, short jokes, basically yabis, that I’ll yab someone, everyone laughs and I’ve moved on fast to another joke.” Concluding, he added that humility is very important for success. “You have to be very humble at all times to make it in this game and stay successful. I remember that when I started making more money than many other entertainers, I didn’t start being arrogant because I knew I was making more money than them. 

“For instance, there was a show by Satzenbrau back then that I was paid N1.5m and Fela was paid N500,000. Fela was bigger than me and I got more money than him, but I didn’t let it go to my head. So, humility is very important.”

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Why do men watch porn?

What’s with men and their porn addiction? Are you a woman who wonders why men watch porn the way they do? Well, here’s an explanation that’ll put your mind at ease. 

Most women have a problem with men and their interest in pornography. Somehow, realising that their man ogles other women in the nude seems to piss them off. Well, any normal woman would be pretty pissed off by this.

While men think porn is sexy, women think it’s obscene and tacky. Men think porn is a way to see many more naked women without really being unfaithful. Women think watching porn is infidelity! Now, not all men and all women feel this way. But certainly, most of them do.

Why can’t a man just watch his woman in bed?

A man could sit up in bed and stare at the beautiful woman sleeping in bed with him, and he may do that too. But he could do that anytime he wants, so really, where’s the novelty in that?

Women should know that most men don’t watch porn every single night. They do it now and then, most often when they’re feeling bored. And even when they watch naked women online or in tapes, they don’t always see the same girls again and again.

Why do men like porn?

Men like porn for a lot of reasons. Here are a few that could help you understand his interest in all things naked.

He gets to see more boobs

A man can never see enough of boobs. All breasts may seem like the same for women, but those subtle dissimilarities between one pair and another make the men want to see all of them. 

He gets to learn new things in bed

Most of the time, men watch porn only to satisfy themselves. But every now and then, men watch porn because it’s funny or completely unique. It’s a fun pastime that men enjoy.

He thinks it adds to the pleasure of masturbation 

Almost all men have spent a big part of their single life with the little boy in their pants. And every now and then, he misses the times he’s spent with the little guy. Hanging out with his hands in his shorts can at times, even feel a lot better than sex. There’s no stress, and the fun time can stretch on for hours. And the best part, he gets to see so many naked women while having fun at the same time.

 He is curious

Every time a man sees an attractive and desirable woman, one of the first things he does is wonder how she looks beneath her clothes. With so much curiosity, it’s easy to imagine why men can’t wait to see and learn about different women’s body parts. 

Will your guy watching porn affect your relationship?

No. His interest in watching porn has nothing to do with the relationship status. To a man, porn isn’t his way of cheating on you or fantasising about other women. It’s just one of his favorite pastimes when he’s feeling restless or bored.

But will he ever compare you to a porn star he likes? It’s obvious he will. Has he ever asked you to try something new or kinky in bed all of a sudden? It’s probably an inspiration from pornography. But whether he compares you or not, a man’s mind is developed enough to realise that what he sees in porn isn’t real, at least to him. It’s just a fantasy girl stripping herself off and moaning at everything she sees. And men like it!

Will he love you less because he sees other naked women?

No. Somehow, watching porn doesn’t seem to affect most men, unless they’re addicted to it and can’t live without it. No research or scientist has been able to conclusively prove the real reason behind why men like porn just yet. Perhaps, it’s just his desire to see more naked women 

 and feel good about it. After all, no man is ever satisfied with the number of naked women he sees in his lifetime.

Should a woman be bothered by his curiosity?

Don’t be. Men hardly ever think their interest in porn qualifies as cheating. Instead, cuddle up with him and watch a few movies yourself. 

Think of it this way: A woman watches romantic movies all the time. And she would definitely be able to relate to the feelings of love and affection the actors share on screen. A woman may enjoy the movie, but does that mean she’s falling for the actor in the movie because she felt all those emotions?

She may even wish her man was more like the romantic actor in the movie. But does that really change anything in real life? No!

And that’s the same thing with men and porn. They may watch women flaunting their assets in pornography, but they soon forget all about it. 

Now that you know why men watch porn, relax and stop worrying about it. It’s just a movie and those boobs are just another pair of several breasts that he’ll admire in his lifetime. At the end of the day, you’re the beautiful woman he sleeps with and he likes his life just the way it is! Well…hopefully!

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How young are you?

There are seven categories of aging. With age as such a crucial feature of a person’s identity, we are at loss as to who the person is, if we lack such information. Yet, age as society perceives it, is not a very good indication of knowing a lot about a person. Think of the older-than-her-years hyper mature 15-year-old who could easily pass for 22. How about the older adult who lives down the street from you whose sprightly step would rival that of someone 40 years her junior?

It’s time to throw aside this narrow and imprecise measure of your identity and move on to the next step, which is to calculate your true age. As it turns out, your true age will not be a simple number, but a combination of where you stand along seven dimensions. In a nutshell, age is multidimensional.

So what are the seven categories of age?

First is chronological age, which is defined as the number of years a person has lived. This is the one we’re all very familiar with.

So the big question is how old are you? And you will answer; I am so many years, months, and days old. Because of the ease and familiarity everyone has with chronological age, many tests and programmes are based around it. Most 5-year olds are ready for kindergarten; most 16-year olds have matured enough to drive; and many 65-year olds are ready to retire.

Chronological age is just a rough indication of age; it’s just the most convenient way.

Biological or physical age, which is a description of an individual’s development based on biomarkers, a recordable molecular or cellular event like blood pressure, respiratory capacity, aerobic power, blood glucose levels, etc. Here we’re looking at the individuals as they are, not necessarily when they were born. Physical aging can be described by grey hair, wrinkled skin, fragile body, hazy eyes. It is age of our bodies in regards to critical life signs.

Psychological age, which is the perception of how old one feels. This is about ones mental outlook on life. For example, a person who is older may feel younger and vice versa. Psychological age is thus not necessarily equal to chronological age. A person can, therefore, have a psychological age that exceeds their chronological age if they are mature or at least feel older than they really are. This may be common in adolescence when young teens that feel older than they really are engaged in behaviours typical of late teens and early adults.

Emotional age is about how we adjust to circumstances that cause us to be rational or irrational. How we handle conflict and resolve misunderstandings are markers for our emotional maturity. Emotional age may follow chronological age, or may lag behind, or be ahead.

Intellectual age is how we think critically about ourselves and the world around us. Are we open or closed minded? The ability to reason and think critically can benefit our life experiences. Staying updated, flexible and curious about life can help to develop a youthful level of intelligence.

Social age: This reflects your position along the so-called “social clock” of life. The social clock is based on the set of expectations that people in a given culture have about when life’s major events “should” occur. We can divide the social clock into the two major areas of life: family and work. The family social clock of our culture expects that people become parents at some point in their late 20s or early 30s, at which point they also are married or in a serious relationship. We become grandparents, according to this clock, in our 60s, reflecting the fact that our children are following a similar social clock. The work social clock says that we graduate from secondary school in our late teens, and then from university a few years later, at which point we start our career. We retire in our 60s, and at that point the work social clock stops ticking.

Functional age: It is defined as a combination of chronological, biological, social, intellectual and psychological ages. Here, instead of focusing on one aspect at a time, we are summarizing them to create a more holistic picture of a person. Functional age would give you the clearest understanding of a person.

This type of age is not often used because you will need a lot of expert input to give the clearest understanding of how old the person is.

Food for thought

How old do you feel? Forget what the calendar says, and even forget what your functional ages are.

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