Wednesday 30 September 2015
The Beckhams Are Royally Richer Than the Queen of England Thanks to $712 Million Fortune
After creating a brand that has become one of Britain's biggest cultural exports, it is no surprise the Beckham's are now worth half a billion. According to experts at the London School of Marketing who analysed the family's lucrative marketing machine, David, Victoria and their children Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz and Harper are richer than Queen Elizabeth II, with a £508m ($770m) fortune .
Maintaining a successful empire is no mean feat. The Beckham brand makes between £30m and £40m a year thanks to their multiple ventures, which include Victoria's growing fashion label, endorsement deals and Footworks, the company under which David's football-related revenues are collated.
Speaking about the findings, chief marketing officer at the London School of Marketing Anton Dominique commented: "The Beckham brand has been used to advertise everything from designer clothes to satellite television and even whisky.
"What is also interesting is that the family name is almost as influential as any individual family member. The Beckham name has the Midas touch.
"For instance, Romeo Beckham won a very lucrative marketing contract with the fashion house Burberry.
London Life, Lagos Living
A stage production of Bobo Omotayo’s book, the play brings together A-list actors who will give members of the audience “not to forget in a hurry” performances.
They include Kate Henshaw, Funke Akindele, OC Ukeje, Wale Ojo, Chioma ‘Chigurl’, Kemi Lala Akindoju, Lami Phillips, and Patrick Diabuah & Adebola Williams. Directed by Kenneth Uphopho and produced by Kemi Lala Akindoju, the venue is Agip Recital Hall Muson Centre. Time is 3pm and 6pm.
Headies2015 Nominees list : Olamide leads list with 8
1. BEST RECORDING OF THE YEAR
A non-voting category for the best single recording by an artiste or group in the year under review.
1. Ojuelegba – Wizkid
2. Eyo – Asa
3. Wish Me Well – Timi Dakolo
4. Bez – There’s A Fire
5. Cobhams – Do the right Thing
2. PRODUCER OF THE YEAR
An individual responsible for producing the most acclaimed song or album in the year under review.
1. Don Jazzy – Godwin (Korede Bello)
2. Mastakraft – Wiser (Flavour)
3. Young John – Bobo (Olamide)
4. Shizzi – Fans Mi (DavidO)
5. Legendury Beatz – Ojuelegba
6. Cobhams – There’s A Fire (Bez)
3. BEST MUSIC VIDEO
A voting category for the best conceptualist, best directed and most exciting video in the year under review.
This award goes to the video director.
1. Jamb Question (Simi) – Mex
2. Crazy (Seyi Shay) – Meji Alabi
3. The Sound (DavidO Feat. Uhuru & Dj Buckz) – Sesan
4. Katapot (Reekado Banks) – UnLimited LA
5. Baby Jollof (Solid Star Feat. Tiwa Savage) – Clarence Peters
4. BEST R&B/POP ALBUM
A category for the best R&B/Pop Album in the year under review (by single individual or group).
1. Bed of Stone – Asa
2. A.Y.O. – Wizkid
3. King of Queens – Yemi Alade
4. Rich & Famous – Praiz
5. Double Trouble – Psquare
5. BEST R&B SINGLE
A category for the best R&B single in the year under review (by a single individual or group).
1. Heartbeat – Praiz
2. Baby Daddy – Iyanya
3. Say You Love Me – Leriq ft. Wizkid
4. Do the Right Thing – Cobhams Ft. Bez
5. Wish Me Well – Timi Dakolo
6. BEST POP SINGLE
A category for the best pop single in year under review (by single individual or group)
1. Ojuelegba – Wizkid
2. Collabo – P-Square Feat. Don Jazzy
3. My Woman, My Everything – Patoranking Feat. Wande Coal
4. Woju – Kiss Daniel
5. Godwin – Korede Bello
6. Bobo – Olamide
7. BEST REGGAE/DANCEHALL SINGLE
A category for the best Reggae/Dancehall single in the year under review (by single individual or group).
1. German Juice – Cynthia Morgan
2. Sanko – Timaya
3. My Body – Solid Star Feat. Timaya
4. Daniella Whyne – Patoranking
5. Cheques and Balance – Burna Boy
6. Bad Girl Special (Remix) – Mr. 2Kay feat. Cynthia Morgan & Seyi Shay
8. BEST RAP ALBUM
A Non-Voting Category for the Best Album By A Rap Artiste Or Group In Year Under Review.
1. Baba Hafusa – Reminisce
2. Street OT – Olamide
3. Chairman – M.I.
4. Above Ground Level – Modenine
9. BEST COLLABO
A voting category for the best R&B, Pop or Hip-hop collaborative track (including cameos).
1. Local Rapper – Reminisce Feat. Olamide & Phyno
2. Hold on – Joe El Feat. 2Face Idibia
3. Bad Girl Special (Remix) – Mr. 2Kay Feat. Cynthia Morgan & Seyi Shay
4. Shoki (Remix) – Lil’Kesh Feat. Olamide & David O
5. Do The right Thing – Cobhams ft. Bez
6. Sisi – Praiz ft. Wizkid
10. BEST RAP SINGLE
A voting category for a single (released on-air) recording of a rap.
1. King Kong – Vector
2. Bad Belle – M.I
3. Bank Alert – Ill Bliss
4. Local Rapper – Reminisce Feat. Olamide, Phyno & Stomrex
5. G.O.D – T.R
11. BEST VOCAL PERFORMANCE (MALE)
A non-voting category for the single male artiste with the most outstanding vocal performance on a single song or album.
1. Praiz – If I fall
2. Shaydee – High
3. Timi Dakolo – Wish Me Well
4. Cobhams – Do The Right Thing
5. Bez – There’s A Fire
12. BEST VOCAL PERFORMANCE (FEMALE)
A non-voting category for the single female artiste with most outstanding vocal performances on a single song or album.
1. Waje – Coco Baby
2. Aramide – Iwo Nikan
3. Asa – Bed of Stone
4. Simi – Tiff
5. Yemi Alade – Duro Timi
13. NEXT RATED
This category is a voting category for the most promising upcoming act in the year under review.
1. Reekado Bankz
2. Kiss Daniel
3. Cynthia Morgan
4. Korede Bello
5. Lil’ Kesh
14. HIP HOP WORLD REVELATION
A voting category for the best new artiste in the year under review.
1. Praiz – Rich n Famous
2. Yemi Alade – King of Queens
3. Skales – Man of the Year
15. LYRICIST ON THE ROLL
A non-voting category for the Rap Artiste with the best lyrical depth and performance on a single song or album.
1. Ill Bliss – Bank Alert (remix) Feat. Ice Prince, Eva Alordiah & Phyno
2. Vector – King Kong
3. Reminisce – Baba Hafusa
4. G.O.D – T.R
16. BEST STREET-HOP ARTISTE
A voting category for the artiste whose songs are inspired by the streets. Such song should captain lingua, which may also be originated by the artiste and popular on the street.
1. Reminisce – Skillashi
2. Olamide – Bobo
3. Small Doctor – Mosquito Killer
4. Mastakraft feat. Olamide, CDQ and David O – Indomie
5. Falz The Bad Guy Feat. Yemi Alade & Poe – Hello Bae
17. BEST ‘ALTERNATIVE’ SONG
A voting category for the artiste whose songs reflect any form or style of music which falls outside the mainstream of recent or past popular musical trends.
1. Di’Ja – Awwwwww
2. Bez – There’s A Fire
3. Asa – Satan Be Gone
4. Adekunle Gold – Sade
5. Ugovinna – Rain On Me
6. Simi – Tiff
18. ALBUM OF THE YEAR
A voting category for the best album (solo or group) in year under review, that meets judges requirements of excellence (Songwriting, production, rendition and promotion) and acceptability (Sales and popularity).
1. Rich n Famous – Praiz
2. King of Queens – Yemi Alade
3. Street OT – Olamide
4. Chairman – M.I.
5. A.Y.O. – Wizkid
6. Double Trouble – P Square
19. ARTISTE OF THE YEAR
Most critically and commercially adjudged artiste in the year under review. Overall most successful artiste for the year under review.
1. Olamide
2. David O
3. Wizkid
4. Yemi Alade
5. P-Square
20. SONG OF THE YEAR
A voting category for the most popular song in the year under review.
1. Ojuelegba – Wizkid
2. Godwin – Korede Bello
3. Kiss Daniel – Woju
4. Olamide – Bobo
21. AFRICAN ARTISTE
A non-Nigerian award category for an individual African artiste or group with the most outstanding achievement, impact and infiltration into the Nigerian music scene in the year under review.
1. Diamond Platnumz
2. Cassper Nyovest
3. Sarkodie
4. Uhuru
5. AKA
HALL OF FAME
Special recognition for excellence and outstanding impact to the entertainment industry.
2Face Idibia
Grace Adenekan’s ‘Bigger than the Biggest’
Grace Adenekan, popularly called Akorin, will be launching her debut gospel album and video tagged “Bigger than the Biggest” on the 1st of November, 2015 at the Centre for Management Development Hall, Magodo, Lagos.
In a statement, it was unveiled that Grace Adenekan has been a gospel artiste for many years; she started out as a youngster in the church choir and has since then followed her passion by proclaiming the gospel through music.
The album has 8 tracks has been done in partnership with her husband, Kehinde Adenekan, who composed and co-arranged the music with Segun Joshua. Akin Jazzy, featured in the track that the album is named after ‘Bigger than the Biggest’, and EMX mixed the track, ‘Sope’ and directed the video.
Currently, one of the songs titled ‘Most High’ has been trending on Youtube in recent times. Some of the A-list gospel artistes billed for the launch includes Kenny Kore, Mike Abdul, Pelumi Strings, Nixon Sax and Ann.
Ralph Lauren steps down as CEO of his fashion empire
Ralph Lauren, the quintessential American designer who built a fashion empire based on sweeping fantasies of country-club prep and the Wild West, is stepping down from his post as chief executive of the company.
Taking the helm at Ralph Lauren is Stefan Larsson, a former H&M executive and president of Old Navy, Gap’s down-market brand, which he is credited with reviving. Old Navy has consistently been one of the few bright spots in Gap’s brand portfolio since Mr. Larsson, who is Swedish, took over in 2012, making him one of the most visible executives in retailing.
LL Cool J's son Najee Smith arrested
LL Cool J‘s son Najee Smith has been arrested in New York City, and has been slammed with criminal intruding at a NYC restaurant.
The eldest child of the rapper allegedly refused to leave the Catch Rooftop in the Meatpacking District in New York City following an altercation earlier yesterday.
Police were called to the scene after Najee, who was celebrating his 26th birthday, was asked to leave the popular eatery and became combative with security when they attempted to escort him out, according to the New York Daily News.
Various sources reported that Najee was intoxicated when the incident occurred.
LL Cool J also has three daughters with wife Simone Smith, whom he has been married to since 1995.
Drake Honoured To Be On WizKid's Ojuelegba Remix
Drake made the cover of the 100th issue of FADER Magazine.
In the magazine, the controversial rapper spoke about why he jumped on the surprise remix of Wizkid’s Ojuelegba a few months back.
He told the magazine
I just did it because I was in the moment. I wasn’t thinking like, ‘Oh man, I gotta get my brand up in Nigeria.’ Not to say that’s not important. I’m super-honored to be on that song.
He also sets the record straight about those Meek Mill ghost writing allegations and his beef with the rapper!
On The Rap Beef with Meek Mill, which started after Meek accused him of using a ghostwriter
It was weighing heavy on me
This is a discussion about music, and no one’s putting forth any music? Nobody told you that this was a bad idea, to engage in this and not have something?
I didn’t get it. I didn’t get how there was no strategy on the opposite end. I just didn’t understand. I didn’t understand it because that’s just not how we operate.
Does he use ghostwriters?
I need, sometimes, individuals to spark an idea so that I can take off running. I don’t mind that. And those recordings-they are what they are. And you can use your own judgment on what they mean to you. If I have to be the vessel for this conversation to be brought up-you know, God forbid we start talking about writing and references and who takes what from where — I’m OK with it being me.
It’s just, music at times can be a collaborative process, you know? Who came up with this, who came up with that-for me, it’s like, I know that it takes me to execute every single thing that I’ve done up until this point. And I’m not ashamed.
10 Tell-Tale Sign He's Cheating On You
He’s acting … differently, but you just can’t put your finger on why. Then, his cell phone rings in the middle of the night and he doesn’t have a good explanation.
Is he cheating or is he just going through a rough time?
We’ve all heard the “he blames you for cheating” and “his cell phone has a password on it” behaviors of cheating men, but those are the obvious shifts.
After interviewing 50 cheating men (and a number of their wives/ex-wives) there are several subtle changes that often take place that women are usually unaware of … until it’s too late.
Here are the top 10 tell-tale signs to watch for in your man.
1. He strays from his predictable everyday behavior.
“My wife knew I was cheating before there was any real evidence. She said should could just tell.”
After spending time with someone for a number of months (or even years), you know their typical behavior. You know how they act in certain situations and when they act differently, you want an explanation—if not cheating, then something else real and tangible.
In this respondent’s case, when he started his affair, he would grab his phone and head into the restroom for 20-30 minutes. His excuse: He was “reading email and the news.” The only problem was, his phone bill showed something very different.
2. He has unpredictable mood swings.
“I was constantly looking for reasons to get away, and it was hard to think of new excuses all the time. So, I’d start a fight with her.”
Being angry in an instant—or being overly nice—is a red flag. There’s no real reason for him to leave, so he has to create one.
New activities that he goes to all the time (but never mentions afterward) is a glaring example. If he was going somewhere and had no reason to hide it, he would most likely talk about it with you.
“I just need time alone.”—while logical, excuses like these are usually without a reason or completely out of the norm for him.
3. He has a rapid change in weight or appearance.
“After I started my affair, I dropped like 10 pounds in about a week. It was crazy.”
Cheating men change physically. Their love handles disappear, their posture changes and their muscle tone/definition returns. It’s the body’s primal means of preparing for courtship—he’s readying himself to attract a mate.
In addition, cheating men start taking much better care of themselves and take a lot of pride in their appearance. He’s suddenly pressing his clothes, coiffing his hair and shaving daily when he didn’t before … especially when leaving the house without you.
4. He has an overnight change in musical taste.
“I’ve never really liked jazz. But I struck up with this woman, we enjoyed it together. I started listening to it all the time, just to think about her.”
There’s nothing wrong with trying new things. But when it’s out of the blue and he excludes you from the change, it’s a warning sign that something is amiss.
5. He remembers things wrong or loses track of the details.
“I was talking to my wife about a movie we saw and laughing about one of the scenes. She wasn’t laughing. I asked, ‘What? Don’t you remember?’ She then informed me that we hadn’t seen it together.”
As he spends more time with both you and his mistress, the memories of his time spent with her and the memories of his time spent with you will start to blur together. Schedules get crossed and he won’t be able to keep track of where he was on any given day. The time he spent with another woman is entirely unaccounted for—often, with no explanation.
6. He suddenly needs a lot of privacy.
“I was working from home and I started closing the door more often, saying that the kids were loud or that I just needed to work quietly. I was online chatting with my mistress.”
To take time for one’s self is normal. But when it’s out of the normal pattern—or is more and more frequent—it’s a sign that something else is going in. Going into work early, leaving late, getting off the phone suddenly, taking lots of private calls from a “relative” (mom, sister, someone untrackable) are also red flags.
7. He has a drastic change in s*xual appetite and style.
“I started my affair and all I wanted was s*x, but not from my wife. She knew something was up, because our s*x life was always pretty active.”
“After I started up with [my mistress], I started sleeping with my wife much more often. She told me I was really aggressive in bed and that she hadn’t seen me that way before.”
A sudden shift in what’s “regular” or familiar in bed—without discussing wanting something new—is a big warning sign of cheating. All the men I interviewed expressed experiencing a huge rush of testosterone, which manifested as a new confidence during s*x.
They felt strong, masculine, virile … like every woman wanted them. Their egos were growing daily.
8. He hides his financial history from you.
“I was meeting [her] for lunch almost daily. And our hotel visits were three or four times per week. Covering that was very difficult. I opened a PayPal account, got a PayPal debit card and attached a personal checking account to [my PayPal account]. I would make online transfers into PayPal and she couldn’t see any of my transactions.”
Most cheating men will need an untraceable way to pay for things: gifts, meals, hotels, trips, etc. Reloadable credit cards, PayPal accounts, eBay purchases are all great ways to hide large or frequent transactions. Definitely investigate large, random transfers or cash withdrawals.
9. He has new “friends” at work and/or more work responsibilities.
“My company allowed me to work from home if I choose. But I’d started a relationship with a new manager at the office, so I started going in to work more often. Extending my business trips a day before or after I was actually needed at a remote site, extended office lunches and late hours.”
Office affairs are very common, especially considering how much time we spend working together.
He might mention his new “friend” to dispel any suspicions you have and if you pop in to the office unexpectedly, he might even introduce you to his “coworker” to throw you off the scent.
Follow your gut and pay attention to his other behaviors.
10. He’s secretive with his technology.
“iMessages on the iPhone are untraceable on cell phone bills. I would only text [my mistress] when it was safe and then delete the messages immediately. To this day my wife doesn’t know how I communicated with [my mistress].”
“I bought SnapChat on my cellphone to communicate with her.”
“I didn’t want to send email, which are traceable. So, we established a new Gmail account and communicated in the drafts folder, without ever sending anything.”
“We bought Gliph and were sending anonymous, ‘cloaked’ email.”
Technology is now smarter and affairs have gone high-tech.
A new password on his cellphone or computer, a change of password at your bank or cellphone company or cellphones being “left in the car” were once valid signs of infidelity.
But now, cheaters fly under the radar by using technology to do their communication dirty work. Apps exist that allow text messages, online chat sessions and pictures to last for a certain amount of time (and then disappear). Pay attention to new email accounts and new apps being used on his cell phone.
While these signs aren’t foolproof signs of cheating, a few taken in combination are sure signs that something is up.
My advice: don’t make accusations that you can’t back up. But, if you do suspect it, sit him down for a long talk about your concerns. If that nagging feeling doesn’t disappear, you have some choices to make—and perhaps some investigations to start.
source:
Paul Walker's Daughter Sues Porsche
Paul Walker survived the impact of the crash that took his life but suffered horrifically as he was burned alive ... this according to a wrongful death lawsuit his daughter has filed against Porsche. According to the lawsuit -- obtained by TMZ --…
Tuesday 29 September 2015
It's not easy to be a mother - Shakira
Shakira has two sons with partner Gerard Pique, who plays for FC Barcelona. Photo: Getty Images
Shakira recently admitted that motherhood is one of the most difficult things she’s done in her life.
She told PEOPLE: ‘I’m one of those tiger moms, who is all the time looking for help and information online and researching and reading. It’s not easy to be a mother.
‘It’s one of the most difficult things I’ve done in my life. I’ve been on the most challenging stages performing in front of really demanding audiences and I’ve been meeting with world leaders who sometimes make you a little bit apprehensive, but nothing has made me so self-conscious as being a mom. Every day I wonder if I’m doing the right thing. I just want to improve in the job, the hardest job on earth.’
The Colombian singer has two sons with partner Gerard Pique, who plays for FC Barcelona.
I use Social Media to my advantage - The Game
‘I fuck with my people, they fuck with me, but we have a fan-artist relationship.’ Photo: Filed
The Game, who is known for his often interaction between himself and fans via Twitter and Instagram, recently spoke about not letting fans get to him or make him feel sad.
The Game who recently had a fall out with Young Thug on social media told AllHipHop: ‘I don’t let social media overpower me. I use it to my advantage’.
‘I fuck with my people, they fuck with me, but we have a fan-artist relationship.’ The Compton native also explained why fans have a bigger ego now and have less of a worship of musicians and athletes.
he said: ‘Social media over the last 10 years has put the fan and the artist sort of on the same level ’cause now, if you have 100 followers, to those 100 followers you feel like you’re the celebrity.
‘If you have a thousand followers you have a thousand people so you can sort of stunt and then when you see a celebrity, you like, Ah, you know, fuck him, I’m the shit.
‘I don’t allow that to happen. On my page, a fan stay a fan and I’m going to stay The Game so you not going to trump me on my shit, you not going to make me feel bad.’
Don jazzy ignores D'banj on Stages.
D’banj as a singer and Don Jazzy the producer used to be the perfect team as the honchos of Mo’hits Records. But like a bolt from the blue, their hitherto smooth relationship collapsed in 2012 like a pack of badly arranged cards.
Ever since, fans and colleagues in the music industry have been begging the duo to come back together and rework their magic.
However, what could have been the perfect opportunity for the two heavyweights to address the issue came to pass on Sunday, September 20,at the Eko Hotel-venue of 2face Idibia’s Fortyfied Concert.
D’banj mounted the stage to perform some of his hit songs to the delight of the audience, and halfway through, he said he was going to perform a song, ‘Feeling Good’ produced by Don Jazzy and featuring 2face that was leaked online before it could be properly released.
He beckoned on Don Jazzy to join him on stage to perform the song, but Jazzy remained glued to his seat with new Mavin signees, Reekado Banks, Korede Bello, and Dija.
Even when 2face begged the duo to produce one more hit together, Don Jazzy remained resolute. In 2face’s words, ‘Don Jazzy and D’banj, abeg make una do one more song, just one…. I take God beg una.’
D’banj instantly responded with the words, “Sure! It’s going to happen,” while Don Jazzy still remained on his seat without even a smile.
This led many of the guests in attendance to insinuate that D’banj was more eager for a come-back than Don Jazzy is.
Kiss Daniel wins 2 awards in 3weeks
Rave of the moment Kiss Daniel won yet another award over the weekend in Abuja. The ‘Woju’ singer clinched the award for Best Upcoming Act of the year at the 2015 Peace Achievers Awards which held at Sheraton Hotel, Abuja.
This comes barely 3 weeks after he emerged ‘Best New Act’ at the 2015 Nigerian Entertainment Awards(NEA) in New York.
Earlier in the year, he’s also won Next Rated Artiste of The Year at the Extreme Awards that held in Benin Republic, as well as Revelation of The Year at Maya Awards in Ibadan.
Sunday 27 September 2015
‘I use beauty shows to empower younger women’
According to this ex-beauty queen, she is determined to use the platform she knows well to empower younger women by giving them a chance in the beauty world.
“I was once a beauty queen, I love fashion and I’m determined to use beauty pageantry as a platform to empower younger women. I will use it as a vehicle to pass good messages to people, create a stronger platform for young women to voice out their passion and work towards achieving their dreams. So, the next beauty pageant is on October 4,” she disclosed.
Lady Geoffrey-Porbeni still remembers vividly what her tenure was as a beauty queen.
“I was awarded ‘The Most Intelligent Queen’ at ‘The Miss Hospitality Nigeria’ beauty pageant which took place in 2009. I remember I had lots of projects I worked on. And from the popular cliché which says that once a lady is crowned queen she is always a queen, I’m still working very hard to affect my generation positively. Believe me, I have never relented! As you can see that among all my peers, I’m proud to say that I’m the last one standing. Though most of us are married, I’m still very much in the game,” she stressed.
Unveiling what stands her beauty pageant out as a person who had experienced what it is like to be a queen, she said that “presently the world is changing and young people are being used as an instrument of destruction, violence and terrorism. As a lover of peace, I have been looking for ways to pass important messages across to my country and the world. I’m glad that God has given me a concept with which to use to pass my message. Hence, I decided to use my pageantry as a medium to promote peace and unity in my country.”
She emphasises on what the participants stand to gain from the show.
“My beauty pageant is unique because it is a national programme that promotes peace and unity in Nigeria and brings into memory Nigeria’s independence. When I’m sourcing for contestants I opt for intelligent girls because my crown is also about beauty and brain.
“That is why after selecting them, I make sure that my crew and I create different activities that would educate them more on what we stand for and make them get better. They would be camped for seven days to be groomed thoroughly. We have lots of activities mapped out for them, including seminars and workshops, acquisition programmes for some of the models that want to be presenters. They would also be taught how to get hotter on catwalks, aerobic exercises, health management, cooking competition, etc. No beauty aspirant is expected to while away her time in camp,” she said.
Her queens are not meant only to wear beauty crowns and sash.
“The reason is that the sole objective of my pageant is to promote peace and unity in my country. Hence, my queens are meant to work/act on the objectives of the pageant. Though they may as well have their own personal projects,” she explained.
Lady Porbeni is however confronted with some challenges in what she does because no good thing comes easy.
“Finance is one of the major challenges. Nigerians are waiting for you to be a celebrity before they come out in force to support you even if your idea is meaningful and positive. But by God’s grace, I will get there. This is what I’m doing with a passion. If I have sponsors or not, I must move forward,” she said.
This workaholic says she enjoys every aspect of her job.
“I enjoy every part of my job because it is what I love to do and what thrills me most about my contestants is that they are all very determined to clutch the diamond-studded crown,” she said smilingly.
To some Nigerian mothers who don’t allow their daughters participate in beauty pageants believing that it is unnecessary exposure for the girl child, she has some words: “Parents if you don’t allow your daughters make use of their God-given creativity, they might end up choosing wrong profession. Please allow them discover themselves even if not through pageantries but through other heart-desired professions. I would like if parents could learn to support and guide them in their choice of career,” she said.
Kissing is part of the game
That kissing is very important in the game of intimacy is an
understatement. It is a key instrument and that real romantic couples
cannot but observe before making love. It serves as a form of
introduction.
However, much as almost everyone would agree that kissing is significant, hardly do many make the best use of it. For instance, for most men, it is most of the time not properly explored before a plunge is taken into the real sexual activity. That is, even when it is being carried out as foreplay, it hardly lasts. It is done in a hurry.
Many may not agree with me, but the problem many have is that couples don’’t know how to kiss! Yes. Kissing is not all about putting the lips together or running the tongue on the other person’’s tongue or lips. Effectively done, it gives a good feeling that couples would normally want to last very long.
Why most couples prefer to get it done with very fast is because they don’’t enjoy it the way it should be. The truth of the matter is that only if couples find time to learn or do it the proper way would they know what they are missing.
Let’’s go through the techniques as put down by those who know better:
Do a few soft kisses. Start slow with soft, gentle kisses and skip the tongue and the teeth —— for now. If your partner seems receptive, you can move forward to French kissing. In case you don’’t know, French kissing is a system whereby you use your tongue during a kiss. One cannot understand why it is so referred in Western culture, anyway. While doing the kissing, avoid making your lips smack as the sound might distract. All you need to do is slow down and part your lips a little bit more if you find out that you are smacking. Also, avoid your lips against partner ’’s mouth. The slow gentle move allows you to ascertain the level of his or her interest. It also allows the partner to stop if he or she feels uncomfortable.
Maintain a moderate level of saliva. Avoid too much saliva. In case your lips are becoming too wet, you should withdraw and nicely reduce it.
““Lock”” lips. If your initial kisses have gone well, try a lip lock, which can lead to closer kisses. Essentially, you’’ll ““stack”” your lips. Putting your partner’’s lower lip between yours is the safest bet. Most people have larger lower lips, making them easier to grab gently with your lips. Breathe while you kiss. Ideally, you’’ll be able to breathe softly through your nose while you’’re kissing. If that’’s not possible, though, break away for a second to take a breath. It will be wrong to feel suffocated. If you breathe hard, you will only be showing a sign of being nervous or that you are rather excited, making your partner feel flattered.
Don’’t hang your hands. Put them to use. You can place your hands lightly on your partner’’s shoulders or around his or her waist. (In Western culture, girls generally put their hands on boys shoulders while he puts his hands around her waist.). You could pull your partner closer.
Also, put your hands on the sides of his or her face, using your thumb to sweep across the cheekbone, or put one hand under his or her chin and tilt it upward. Another seriously good move is to put both hands around the back of your partner’’s head and tangle them in his or her hair, gently pulling.
Test using tongue. Once you’’re in a lip lock with your partner’’s lower lip between both of yours, lightly run the tip of your tongue over it. If you can move it slowly, the better. Then, gauge your partner’’s response. If he or she presses in closer or returns the gesture, you’’re probably clear to keep increasing the intensity of the kiss. If your partner pulls away, maybe it’’s best to pull back the tongue for now and stick to lips-only kisses.
Try French kissing (if you like). Sweep your tongue along the inside of your partner’’s lower lip. Try to move slowly and lightly at first, increasing speed and pressure only if your partner seems to respond well. Slide the tip of your tongue inside your partner’’s mouth and gently move it against the tip of his or her tongue. Use light, darting motions and keep your tongue moving —— letting it sit limply in your partner’’s mouth isn’’t appealing and will bring a quick end to the kissing. Try deeper and harder strokes if your partner seems responsive.
Be sensitive however, to your partner’’s response to know whether to slow down or pull the brake. Ensure not to be too excited also to avoid hurting each other. Remember again that either of you can take the lead and of course, there is still room for an improvement. Enjoy.
However, much as almost everyone would agree that kissing is significant, hardly do many make the best use of it. For instance, for most men, it is most of the time not properly explored before a plunge is taken into the real sexual activity. That is, even when it is being carried out as foreplay, it hardly lasts. It is done in a hurry.
Many may not agree with me, but the problem many have is that couples don’’t know how to kiss! Yes. Kissing is not all about putting the lips together or running the tongue on the other person’’s tongue or lips. Effectively done, it gives a good feeling that couples would normally want to last very long.
Why most couples prefer to get it done with very fast is because they don’’t enjoy it the way it should be. The truth of the matter is that only if couples find time to learn or do it the proper way would they know what they are missing.
Let’’s go through the techniques as put down by those who know better:
Do a few soft kisses. Start slow with soft, gentle kisses and skip the tongue and the teeth —— for now. If your partner seems receptive, you can move forward to French kissing. In case you don’’t know, French kissing is a system whereby you use your tongue during a kiss. One cannot understand why it is so referred in Western culture, anyway. While doing the kissing, avoid making your lips smack as the sound might distract. All you need to do is slow down and part your lips a little bit more if you find out that you are smacking. Also, avoid your lips against partner ’’s mouth. The slow gentle move allows you to ascertain the level of his or her interest. It also allows the partner to stop if he or she feels uncomfortable.
Maintain a moderate level of saliva. Avoid too much saliva. In case your lips are becoming too wet, you should withdraw and nicely reduce it.
““Lock”” lips. If your initial kisses have gone well, try a lip lock, which can lead to closer kisses. Essentially, you’’ll ““stack”” your lips. Putting your partner’’s lower lip between yours is the safest bet. Most people have larger lower lips, making them easier to grab gently with your lips. Breathe while you kiss. Ideally, you’’ll be able to breathe softly through your nose while you’’re kissing. If that’’s not possible, though, break away for a second to take a breath. It will be wrong to feel suffocated. If you breathe hard, you will only be showing a sign of being nervous or that you are rather excited, making your partner feel flattered.
Don’’t hang your hands. Put them to use. You can place your hands lightly on your partner’’s shoulders or around his or her waist. (In Western culture, girls generally put their hands on boys shoulders while he puts his hands around her waist.). You could pull your partner closer.
Also, put your hands on the sides of his or her face, using your thumb to sweep across the cheekbone, or put one hand under his or her chin and tilt it upward. Another seriously good move is to put both hands around the back of your partner’’s head and tangle them in his or her hair, gently pulling.
Test using tongue. Once you’’re in a lip lock with your partner’’s lower lip between both of yours, lightly run the tip of your tongue over it. If you can move it slowly, the better. Then, gauge your partner’’s response. If he or she presses in closer or returns the gesture, you’’re probably clear to keep increasing the intensity of the kiss. If your partner pulls away, maybe it’’s best to pull back the tongue for now and stick to lips-only kisses.
Try French kissing (if you like). Sweep your tongue along the inside of your partner’’s lower lip. Try to move slowly and lightly at first, increasing speed and pressure only if your partner seems to respond well. Slide the tip of your tongue inside your partner’’s mouth and gently move it against the tip of his or her tongue. Use light, darting motions and keep your tongue moving —— letting it sit limply in your partner’’s mouth isn’’t appealing and will bring a quick end to the kissing. Try deeper and harder strokes if your partner seems responsive.
Be sensitive however, to your partner’’s response to know whether to slow down or pull the brake. Ensure not to be too excited also to avoid hurting each other. Remember again that either of you can take the lead and of course, there is still room for an improvement. Enjoy.
‘He wants to kill me with too much sex’
I wish to divorce my husband because he is too fond of
sex. All he knows in his life is sex. He has sexual intercourse with me
at least six days of the week and it may be twice a day. He does not
give me rest of mind. He monitors me around —Wife
A middle-aged woman, Soliat Adekojo, has asked a Grade ‘C’ Customary Court sitting in Mapo, Ibadan South-East Local Government Area of Oyo State to dissolve her five years marriage to her husband, Musibau over his excessive sexual desire.
The complainant, a trader who resides at Amuloko Area of Ibadan told the court that he seduced her into marrying him five years ago and the union is blessed with a child.
Soliat said, “I wish to divorce my husband because he is fond of sex. All he knows in his life is sex and is not an ordinary desire, but a marathon sex. He used to have sexual intercourse with me, at least six days of the week and it may be twice a day. He does not give me rest of mind. He monitors me around.
“I later got to know through his mother that I am the plaintiff ’s ninth wife.
“A week after I left his house, the plaintiff came with the police to arrest my brother, that I conspired with my brother to steal his N2.5 million.
“My brother was detained in police custody for three days but I was bailed the second day by one of the plaintiff ’s daughters, Sakirat. Sakirat explained to the police that her father (the plaintiff) was lying about his claim of stolen money.
“Last year June, my husband’s friend, Alhaji Adebolu, called me to inform me that my husband had parked all my belongings to his house. He explained that he also told him that he did want to see me and his son again.
“I later went to his friend’s house to park my things. A week after, I fell sick to the extent that I was referred to a psychiatric hospital for a brain examination because they said I was always mentioning the plaintiff ’s name during the sickness.
“My Lord, while passing through this sickness, the plaintiff did not for once ask after me or his only son.
“Early this year, the plaintiff arrested my brother again and he was detained at Agodi Prison for six days. He continuously threatened everyone around me with arrest.
“My Lord, I am fed up with this relationship. Please, separate us. I don’t want to die now.”
Responding to his wife’s allegation, Musibau who is an Alfa admitted to the claims but asked the court to allow him have custody of the child because his wife cannot cater for the child.
In his ruling, President of the court, Chief Agbaje Olasunkami averred, “Having observed the evidence given by both parties, the court rules thus: the divorce on repayment of bride price is hereby granted with immediate effect.”
Olasukanmi ordered that the child remain in custody of the plaintiff while the defendant must be paying a monthly sum of N3, 000 for the upkeep of the child until he is grown up. (NAN).
A middle-aged woman, Soliat Adekojo, has asked a Grade ‘C’ Customary Court sitting in Mapo, Ibadan South-East Local Government Area of Oyo State to dissolve her five years marriage to her husband, Musibau over his excessive sexual desire.
The complainant, a trader who resides at Amuloko Area of Ibadan told the court that he seduced her into marrying him five years ago and the union is blessed with a child.
Soliat said, “I wish to divorce my husband because he is fond of sex. All he knows in his life is sex and is not an ordinary desire, but a marathon sex. He used to have sexual intercourse with me, at least six days of the week and it may be twice a day. He does not give me rest of mind. He monitors me around.
“I later got to know through his mother that I am the plaintiff ’s ninth wife.
“A week after I left his house, the plaintiff came with the police to arrest my brother, that I conspired with my brother to steal his N2.5 million.
“My brother was detained in police custody for three days but I was bailed the second day by one of the plaintiff ’s daughters, Sakirat. Sakirat explained to the police that her father (the plaintiff) was lying about his claim of stolen money.
“Last year June, my husband’s friend, Alhaji Adebolu, called me to inform me that my husband had parked all my belongings to his house. He explained that he also told him that he did want to see me and his son again.
“I later went to his friend’s house to park my things. A week after, I fell sick to the extent that I was referred to a psychiatric hospital for a brain examination because they said I was always mentioning the plaintiff ’s name during the sickness.
“My Lord, while passing through this sickness, the plaintiff did not for once ask after me or his only son.
“Early this year, the plaintiff arrested my brother again and he was detained at Agodi Prison for six days. He continuously threatened everyone around me with arrest.
“My Lord, I am fed up with this relationship. Please, separate us. I don’t want to die now.”
Responding to his wife’s allegation, Musibau who is an Alfa admitted to the claims but asked the court to allow him have custody of the child because his wife cannot cater for the child.
In his ruling, President of the court, Chief Agbaje Olasunkami averred, “Having observed the evidence given by both parties, the court rules thus: the divorce on repayment of bride price is hereby granted with immediate effect.”
Olasukanmi ordered that the child remain in custody of the plaintiff while the defendant must be paying a monthly sum of N3, 000 for the upkeep of the child until he is grown up. (NAN).
I do only family friendly jokes —Damola Adegboye
Who are you aspiring to be like in the world of comedy, and why?
I have a lot of people I admire but I perpetually aspire to be like Saco because of his leadership style. Not necessarily because he is a comedian but because of his approach to the job.
What was your growing up like?
Growing up was fun. I am from a very lively family. I grew up in Mushin, Lagos, had my primary education in Bosby Day Nursery and Primary School and Tunyo Primary School. I then proceeded to Federal Government College, Ikirun where I had my secondary education, then Osun State University where I had my first degree and the University of Ibadan where I had my Master’s degree in political science.
Why did you choose comedy as a career?
For me, comedy is an inborn thing. It was initially a hobby, but when people started seeing value in it, it developed into a career because it was converted from a hobby to a product that has monetary value.
Can you briefly define your style?
Simplicity, elegance, maturity. What is your style signature? I really don’t have a particular one, but you will always see me looking sharp and smart.
Apart from comedy, what are the other things you do?
I am a lecturer in the same university I came out of as a first class. This made the school authorities retain me as a junior lecturer. So if I’m not doing comedy, I will be lecturing.
How do you combine them together?
I try as much as possible to marry the both of them together. I have a timetable that I work with, and it has been of good help to me.
How do you give back to the society?
I try as much as possible to assist the few I can, and also help in charity work.
What are your achievements so far?
I have been privileged to enjoy some awesome platforms that I can’t count within and outside the country. I’ve been privileged to anchor Babatunde Fashola’s younger brother’s wedding, co-anchored Pastor Poju Oyemade’s wedding, and other high profile weddings. I’ve done a lot of corporate events with reputable national and multinational organizations like KPMG, Union Bank, Stanbic Bank, First Bank, Nestle, UAC Foods, Flour Mills of Nigeria, to mention a few. God has been faithful. One that is dear to me is a comedy performance of an old woman’s testimony that went viral.
When did you start having passion for comedy?
It started from childhood where I used to mimic my teachers at home after school, I see it as inborn thing, and I also I was in my church drama group all these add together make me know I will be a comedian.
What happened to you when you were a child that you still remember?
A lot of things happened, when I went to visit my cousins and I stood in a colony of soldier ants and I didn’t notice until they were all over me.
What is your philosophy of life?
Keep doing well at what you know how to do best, be humble and focused; you will rise to where God wants you to be. I also encourage as many as possible to go school.
Comedy seems to be the rave now but your education is a lasting legacy that can’t depart from you. I graduated with a first class and I have been doing comedy before I graduated, so it is possible to combine successfully with the help of God.
Are you actually enjoying what you do as a comedian? Are you fulfilled?
I am enjoying what I do, one of my aims is to make people happy and I find fulfillment in it.
What kind of comedy do you think Nigerians want that you are giving them?
For me, I do ethical jokes, I do it clean and make sure its family friendly, most importantly, I make sure people can relate with what I say on stage.
Where do you think Nigerian comedians are not getting it right?
I really don’t know, but I feel the originality is not really in place. I feel comedians should adopt their own style and avoid being who they are not.
What stands you out in the comedy world?
I think my style and my approach to the job stands me out. I can fit into any kind of crowd conveniently. God has always helped me.
Have you been embarrassed on stage before?
The first wedding I anchored, in 2009, my dressing was terrible, and for the whole of that day I wasn’t comfortable with my presentation, it was a nasty experience that day.
Where do you see comedy in Nigeria in the next five years?
I see comedy as a big business in Nigeria. Moreover, it’ll be bigger and better structured and will compete globally.
I have a lot of people I admire but I perpetually aspire to be like Saco because of his leadership style. Not necessarily because he is a comedian but because of his approach to the job.
What was your growing up like?
Growing up was fun. I am from a very lively family. I grew up in Mushin, Lagos, had my primary education in Bosby Day Nursery and Primary School and Tunyo Primary School. I then proceeded to Federal Government College, Ikirun where I had my secondary education, then Osun State University where I had my first degree and the University of Ibadan where I had my Master’s degree in political science.
Why did you choose comedy as a career?
For me, comedy is an inborn thing. It was initially a hobby, but when people started seeing value in it, it developed into a career because it was converted from a hobby to a product that has monetary value.
Can you briefly define your style?
Simplicity, elegance, maturity. What is your style signature? I really don’t have a particular one, but you will always see me looking sharp and smart.
Apart from comedy, what are the other things you do?
I am a lecturer in the same university I came out of as a first class. This made the school authorities retain me as a junior lecturer. So if I’m not doing comedy, I will be lecturing.
How do you combine them together?
I try as much as possible to marry the both of them together. I have a timetable that I work with, and it has been of good help to me.
How do you give back to the society?
I try as much as possible to assist the few I can, and also help in charity work.
What are your achievements so far?
I have been privileged to enjoy some awesome platforms that I can’t count within and outside the country. I’ve been privileged to anchor Babatunde Fashola’s younger brother’s wedding, co-anchored Pastor Poju Oyemade’s wedding, and other high profile weddings. I’ve done a lot of corporate events with reputable national and multinational organizations like KPMG, Union Bank, Stanbic Bank, First Bank, Nestle, UAC Foods, Flour Mills of Nigeria, to mention a few. God has been faithful. One that is dear to me is a comedy performance of an old woman’s testimony that went viral.
When did you start having passion for comedy?
It started from childhood where I used to mimic my teachers at home after school, I see it as inborn thing, and I also I was in my church drama group all these add together make me know I will be a comedian.
What happened to you when you were a child that you still remember?
A lot of things happened, when I went to visit my cousins and I stood in a colony of soldier ants and I didn’t notice until they were all over me.
What is your philosophy of life?
Keep doing well at what you know how to do best, be humble and focused; you will rise to where God wants you to be. I also encourage as many as possible to go school.
Comedy seems to be the rave now but your education is a lasting legacy that can’t depart from you. I graduated with a first class and I have been doing comedy before I graduated, so it is possible to combine successfully with the help of God.
Are you actually enjoying what you do as a comedian? Are you fulfilled?
I am enjoying what I do, one of my aims is to make people happy and I find fulfillment in it.
What kind of comedy do you think Nigerians want that you are giving them?
For me, I do ethical jokes, I do it clean and make sure its family friendly, most importantly, I make sure people can relate with what I say on stage.
Where do you think Nigerian comedians are not getting it right?
I really don’t know, but I feel the originality is not really in place. I feel comedians should adopt their own style and avoid being who they are not.
What stands you out in the comedy world?
I think my style and my approach to the job stands me out. I can fit into any kind of crowd conveniently. God has always helped me.
Have you been embarrassed on stage before?
The first wedding I anchored, in 2009, my dressing was terrible, and for the whole of that day I wasn’t comfortable with my presentation, it was a nasty experience that day.
Where do you see comedy in Nigeria in the next five years?
I see comedy as a big business in Nigeria. Moreover, it’ll be bigger and better structured and will compete globally.
Toke Makinwa flashes her assets for husband?
It’s no longer news that Toke Makinwa’s marriage is in serious
trouble. And probably to relieve herself of the resultant stress, she
took a holiday in which she really let down her hair to the extent that
she posted extremely salacious pictures of herself online.Her physical assets were really on display in the pictures and men must definitely be salivating over them right now.
The pictures are her most intimate ever, and they seem to be a message to her husband, Maje Ayida, maybe to remind him that you don’t appreciate what you have until you lose it.
Secular music more prominent on radio –Ann Inyang
Delectable Gospel songstress, Princess Ann Inyang who is a
multiple award winner and United Nations Peace Ambassador shares her
story with NGOZI EMEDOLIBE and VICTOR UDOH Excerpts:
What’s the story behind the hit song Akanam Nkwe?
When my song ‘Akanam Nkwe’ was released in 1996, people thought it was a South African song because they hadn’t heard a “Calabar” song with a calypso rhythm before. Usually, songs from that side would come with the “ekombi” rhythm, besides, there were very few songs from that region then because my people used to be ashamed of speaking their language.
Even when you greet them in Ibibio, they would answer you in English (laughs). Anyway, things have changed now, we are proudly “Akwa Ibomites” thanks to people like us who blazed the trail of singing gospel music in our local language and introducing cultural dressing and dancing into the video. Thanks also to our dynamic Chief Godswill Akpabio (CON0 who emphasizes the need to teach children to communicate in their local dialect and for people to be proud of their language.
What brought about the song “Akanam Nkwe”?
When it was first released, but my fans renamed it Akanam Nkwe so I flowed along with them). What actually gave birth to it was the break-up of my first marriage. The morning the song formed in my spirit was after reading the Bible 1st Corinthians 13 which enumerates the qualities of real love. I couldn’t help but compare what I was passing through with God’s kind of love.
God’s love never ends. I am fond of the exclamation “woyo” or “sai” which you could translate “ehyaah, ewo and ha!, so after reading that scripture, I exclaimed “sai”, because indeed, there is no comparison! It was during the day while driving in Surulere, that the song started to form in my spirit. The chorus line simply means “I have never seen, I have never heard the love that can compare with God’s love”. Then I expanded the body of the song to enumerate the qualities of God’s love which includes the fact that “it is unconditional, endless, full of compassion, not self-seeking, does not select who to love, does not love because of money, beauty, ability to bear children, good character etc”.
Today, the song has become an all-time favourite of the church, both locally and internationally. A fan of mine, who is a Praise/Worship leader in his church, told me that when he observes that the atmosphere of praise is dull, he would immediately bring in the song “Akanam Nkwe” to charge it; because when the people hear “woyoooo….” They are ready to shout “saiiiii” (she chuckles).
Princess, what are the challenges facing the existence of gospel music in Nigeria?
The major thing I see as a challenge to gospel music is its relegation to the background by some radio and television stations in Nigeria, because it is played majorly on Sundays. As a result, secular music now dominates the airwaves. Gospel music is not enjoying sufficient airplay in this country as it should unlike other African countries. I don’t know if this is a directive from Government or what? The result is that secular music is given more prominence on both radio and television and that automatically becomes the more “acceptable” music. When you keep listening to one type of music, pretty soon, you will find yourself singing along. Our children have no choice than to sing songs that have no moral contents and they feel that is the order of the day because they have no other options. Music videos are embalmed with hyper sexuality visuals with the guys fully clothed and the ladies with bra and pant – skimpily dressed, and lyrical contents reduced to vulgarity in most cases. Children are products of their environment, so when they begin to practice what they hear on radio and watch on television at very tender age whose fault is it? On Children’s Day this year, I was invited by a TV station to perform for the children who were between 5 to 12 years of age, I watched in amazement as the younger female children between 5 and 6 years, were wriggling their waists to the songs played by the DJ before I performed – just the way they see it on television. Don’t get me wrong, I do listen to secular music (of course that is the major music on air so I have no choice but to listen to it), but I have a choice to touch the dial of my television set and switch to something else if I do not like it. Same thing goes to the radio. So, why can’t gospel music and even Muslim music be played on a daily basis, let the people make their choice?
Has the relegation of gospel music prevented the religious crisis in this country?
One thing people do know is that a good song is a good song, anybody would buy it whether they are Christians or not. A lot of people bought the album of Midnight Crew because of the track “Igwe”, same thing with Frank Edward’s track “Mma Mma e” and “Oghene Do”. Up till today, exactly 30 years after I wrote the song “Things are getting better”, people still use it as a song of consolation and in the church, a song of praise. Same thing goes to my evergreen song “Akanam Nkwe” – a good song remains a good song!
The second reason is that the Gospel Artiste in Nigeria is not as well paid as the Secular Artiste but, we have more platforms than the Secular Artistes. There are more churches than you can imagine both home and abroad, and most of them organize one programme or the other; so all things being equal, the Gospel Artiste has weekly engagements, depending on how popular he/ she is, and you know what?…. at all, at all naim bad! However, I believe things would change for the better soon and our churches will treat us the same way they treat the foreign gospel artistes. You have graced many international stages with several Gospel acts, did you know you will go this far when you started? For where? God is just amazing!
I never even had any inkling that I would be a gospel singer. I am what you call grace personified! I had the most husky voice you can think of when I was a child. That was the major reason I loved singing jazz then because I listened more to jazz music when I was living with my aunt, so, even when I begun to perform in a Club, I did jazz music.
This went on until I had an encounter with Jesus as a teenager in 1984! When I say encounter, I mean real encounter where He appeared to me and showed me what he would use me to do if I give my life to him. Today, I have been to about 16 States in America including Hawaii, England, Germany, Poland, South Africa, DRC, Ghana, and almost all the major churches and upcoming ones in Nigeria, to minister in songs.
I have also performed in many corporate events and State events in Nigeria including Nigerian Navy annual get together, American Embassy Jazz night with Jazz Ambassadors, Cross River State Carnival music nights, annual Akwa Ibom State Carol nights, Rivers State Women’s events, annual Aso Villa thanksgiving to name a few.
How is it like managing your band, Saints Music Crew?
I have a 9-man band and a Manager. Some of them have been with me for almost 15 years because I treat them with respect and pay them well. That is what they do for a living. I pay them according to how much we are paid as a Band. I am not one of those sound track Musicians, in fact, I hate singing with sound track because it does not allow one to flow easily with the crowd. We get regular invitations to minister within and outside Nigeria. Not only in church o (laughs). Yes o!
What has been the most challenging moment of your career?
Majorly, it is my inability to get sponsors for my concerts. No one wants to sponsor gospel! I also still struggle to promote and market my works in this country because it is so expensive to promote. If you do not promote effectively, marketers would not accept to market your work. I am trusting God for the promotion of my latest work. I want my albums to reach people and I cannot only make sales only when I have a ministration somewhere. I have also had a lot of challenges which caused some setbacks on my finances.
One of it is my building at Alpha Beach, Lekki which was destroyed during that flood of 10th July 2011. I call it “Lagos tsunami” because it affected the whole of Lagos but worse at the beach areas. I had my studio there and I could not remove a pin when it happened, including my cars. I thank God that I had travelled abroad when it happened, otherwise, who knows if my life would have gone with the house as well. It took three weeks after the incident, before I could gain access to the street where my house was because everywhere in that axis was still flooded.
You are a United Nations Peace Ambassador, what has the experience been like?
I cannot begin to tell you how privileged and honoured I felt when I was nominated for that award. When I got the letter, I felt it was all these 419 people telling me I was nominated for the award, so I ignored it until one of the officials called. Imagine people addressing me as “Your Excellency”, (she laughs) the thing never enter body, that is why I use the title sparingly. I am writing a peace song which will be released next year by God’s grace.
What project are you working on now?
I have been shooting my videos and will begin to promote my new tracks “Nyafun Nyafun” and “Cannot Stop” this month as the Lord helps me. So fans should watch out for them.
You decided to go into Gospel music full time, when it was obscure and unlucrative, how was it then trying to be a ‘revolutionist’, changing the face of Gospel music in Nigeria?
Well, then I went into it because God called me to go all the way. I know I have a calling to Pastor but this was my first call. I could not have left a well paid job in First Bank to go into the unknown if I did not have an inward leading. Remember, I have been doing music from my teens, so naturally I continued when I was working in the bank but it didn’t work out. Banking hours were tedious and I could not combine work and music so, one had to give way.
I recall in those days when we had invitations to minister, I would go with my band (then we were 13) and 12 dancers. At the end of the day, no one would pay us. I had to be funding the band with my salary. Of course, you know that I could not keep up with that for long. My eyes opened when I travelled abroad and started relating with other gospel music artistes who taught me how to administer the Lord’s business.
Today, the story is different. The payment is still not up to our expectation and yes there are still those who feel that we should not charge fees because “it is a free gift”. I tell them the word of God is free but you have to buy a bible to read it. The gift of music is free, but the channel to communicate the gift to the world is very expensive. I know how much I pay to shoot just one video, not to talk about producing a full album. Now I have nine albums in all.
In your long years of ministering to people, which incidence really “wowed” your imaginations?
Several – one was when I travelled with a friend who is the Managing Partner of our NGO, Opal Awards to Poland for World Dancing Competition with children to represent Nigeria, and we happened to bump into some Nigerian student Doctors who invited us to their church the Sunday after the show, as it was African day. I was invited to sing and I sang some English songs.
This was not even an English speaking church. Suddenly, the Pastor asked if I could sing in our native dialect, and I felt, it would be too much for them to handle. I said, “well, I have a popular song in Nigeria which I wrote titled, Akanam nkwe”, to my amazement, they starting clapping and telling me that they knew it. To prove a point, one of the white people sang it in the best way she could and I was like “wow”.
Another one happened in South Africa where 10 armed teenagers entered a church I was ministering in at night in Port Elizabeth. It’s a long story, but they came to rob us at gun point, but the power of God hit them and they ended up giving their lives to Christ. I will not ever forget that incidence. Then I have also recorded a lot of healings taking place when I minister, that is why I know that there is power in anointed music. Music is much more than just singing, when it is spiritual music, you release the power of God.
With all you have achieved, are you totally fulfilled, are there still dreams you wish to fulfill?
I thank God for bringing me this far but I feel I haven’t really achieved much. I have unfulfilled dreams which I pray God to help me achieve. My major hindrance is finance or sponsorship, for the kind of projects I have in mind, but I believe that when there is life, there is hope.
Apart from music, what do you do?
I love fashion a lot and I am hoping to start my own clothing line soon. I also run a food delivery service – majorly our “Calabar” food. I am a very good cook. It started when people would come to my house in South Africa to eat, then they would wish they had such food in the refrigerator. I volunteered to cook for them at a cost. During the world cup in South Africa a lot of Nigerians enjoyed my cooking. When I came back to Nigeria, I continued. We have orders weekly but I look forward to when I could start a proper restaurant. Also, I write…..I have some unfinished books.
Are any of your children taking after you musically?
Yes, my son Richard is a great dancer. He has a group known as M.A.D-X Dance Crew. They have even featured in Nigeria’s Got Talent and perform annually in the Calabar Carnival. They also minister in dance in churches.
What’s the story behind the hit song Akanam Nkwe?
When my song ‘Akanam Nkwe’ was released in 1996, people thought it was a South African song because they hadn’t heard a “Calabar” song with a calypso rhythm before. Usually, songs from that side would come with the “ekombi” rhythm, besides, there were very few songs from that region then because my people used to be ashamed of speaking their language.
Even when you greet them in Ibibio, they would answer you in English (laughs). Anyway, things have changed now, we are proudly “Akwa Ibomites” thanks to people like us who blazed the trail of singing gospel music in our local language and introducing cultural dressing and dancing into the video. Thanks also to our dynamic Chief Godswill Akpabio (CON0 who emphasizes the need to teach children to communicate in their local dialect and for people to be proud of their language.
What brought about the song “Akanam Nkwe”?
When it was first released, but my fans renamed it Akanam Nkwe so I flowed along with them). What actually gave birth to it was the break-up of my first marriage. The morning the song formed in my spirit was after reading the Bible 1st Corinthians 13 which enumerates the qualities of real love. I couldn’t help but compare what I was passing through with God’s kind of love.
God’s love never ends. I am fond of the exclamation “woyo” or “sai” which you could translate “ehyaah, ewo and ha!, so after reading that scripture, I exclaimed “sai”, because indeed, there is no comparison! It was during the day while driving in Surulere, that the song started to form in my spirit. The chorus line simply means “I have never seen, I have never heard the love that can compare with God’s love”. Then I expanded the body of the song to enumerate the qualities of God’s love which includes the fact that “it is unconditional, endless, full of compassion, not self-seeking, does not select who to love, does not love because of money, beauty, ability to bear children, good character etc”.
Today, the song has become an all-time favourite of the church, both locally and internationally. A fan of mine, who is a Praise/Worship leader in his church, told me that when he observes that the atmosphere of praise is dull, he would immediately bring in the song “Akanam Nkwe” to charge it; because when the people hear “woyoooo….” They are ready to shout “saiiiii” (she chuckles).
Princess, what are the challenges facing the existence of gospel music in Nigeria?
The major thing I see as a challenge to gospel music is its relegation to the background by some radio and television stations in Nigeria, because it is played majorly on Sundays. As a result, secular music now dominates the airwaves. Gospel music is not enjoying sufficient airplay in this country as it should unlike other African countries. I don’t know if this is a directive from Government or what? The result is that secular music is given more prominence on both radio and television and that automatically becomes the more “acceptable” music. When you keep listening to one type of music, pretty soon, you will find yourself singing along. Our children have no choice than to sing songs that have no moral contents and they feel that is the order of the day because they have no other options. Music videos are embalmed with hyper sexuality visuals with the guys fully clothed and the ladies with bra and pant – skimpily dressed, and lyrical contents reduced to vulgarity in most cases. Children are products of their environment, so when they begin to practice what they hear on radio and watch on television at very tender age whose fault is it? On Children’s Day this year, I was invited by a TV station to perform for the children who were between 5 to 12 years of age, I watched in amazement as the younger female children between 5 and 6 years, were wriggling their waists to the songs played by the DJ before I performed – just the way they see it on television. Don’t get me wrong, I do listen to secular music (of course that is the major music on air so I have no choice but to listen to it), but I have a choice to touch the dial of my television set and switch to something else if I do not like it. Same thing goes to the radio. So, why can’t gospel music and even Muslim music be played on a daily basis, let the people make their choice?
Has the relegation of gospel music prevented the religious crisis in this country?
One thing people do know is that a good song is a good song, anybody would buy it whether they are Christians or not. A lot of people bought the album of Midnight Crew because of the track “Igwe”, same thing with Frank Edward’s track “Mma Mma e” and “Oghene Do”. Up till today, exactly 30 years after I wrote the song “Things are getting better”, people still use it as a song of consolation and in the church, a song of praise. Same thing goes to my evergreen song “Akanam Nkwe” – a good song remains a good song!
The second reason is that the Gospel Artiste in Nigeria is not as well paid as the Secular Artiste but, we have more platforms than the Secular Artistes. There are more churches than you can imagine both home and abroad, and most of them organize one programme or the other; so all things being equal, the Gospel Artiste has weekly engagements, depending on how popular he/ she is, and you know what?…. at all, at all naim bad! However, I believe things would change for the better soon and our churches will treat us the same way they treat the foreign gospel artistes. You have graced many international stages with several Gospel acts, did you know you will go this far when you started? For where? God is just amazing!
I never even had any inkling that I would be a gospel singer. I am what you call grace personified! I had the most husky voice you can think of when I was a child. That was the major reason I loved singing jazz then because I listened more to jazz music when I was living with my aunt, so, even when I begun to perform in a Club, I did jazz music.
This went on until I had an encounter with Jesus as a teenager in 1984! When I say encounter, I mean real encounter where He appeared to me and showed me what he would use me to do if I give my life to him. Today, I have been to about 16 States in America including Hawaii, England, Germany, Poland, South Africa, DRC, Ghana, and almost all the major churches and upcoming ones in Nigeria, to minister in songs.
I have also performed in many corporate events and State events in Nigeria including Nigerian Navy annual get together, American Embassy Jazz night with Jazz Ambassadors, Cross River State Carnival music nights, annual Akwa Ibom State Carol nights, Rivers State Women’s events, annual Aso Villa thanksgiving to name a few.
How is it like managing your band, Saints Music Crew?
I have a 9-man band and a Manager. Some of them have been with me for almost 15 years because I treat them with respect and pay them well. That is what they do for a living. I pay them according to how much we are paid as a Band. I am not one of those sound track Musicians, in fact, I hate singing with sound track because it does not allow one to flow easily with the crowd. We get regular invitations to minister within and outside Nigeria. Not only in church o (laughs). Yes o!
What has been the most challenging moment of your career?
Majorly, it is my inability to get sponsors for my concerts. No one wants to sponsor gospel! I also still struggle to promote and market my works in this country because it is so expensive to promote. If you do not promote effectively, marketers would not accept to market your work. I am trusting God for the promotion of my latest work. I want my albums to reach people and I cannot only make sales only when I have a ministration somewhere. I have also had a lot of challenges which caused some setbacks on my finances.
One of it is my building at Alpha Beach, Lekki which was destroyed during that flood of 10th July 2011. I call it “Lagos tsunami” because it affected the whole of Lagos but worse at the beach areas. I had my studio there and I could not remove a pin when it happened, including my cars. I thank God that I had travelled abroad when it happened, otherwise, who knows if my life would have gone with the house as well. It took three weeks after the incident, before I could gain access to the street where my house was because everywhere in that axis was still flooded.
You are a United Nations Peace Ambassador, what has the experience been like?
I cannot begin to tell you how privileged and honoured I felt when I was nominated for that award. When I got the letter, I felt it was all these 419 people telling me I was nominated for the award, so I ignored it until one of the officials called. Imagine people addressing me as “Your Excellency”, (she laughs) the thing never enter body, that is why I use the title sparingly. I am writing a peace song which will be released next year by God’s grace.
What project are you working on now?
I have been shooting my videos and will begin to promote my new tracks “Nyafun Nyafun” and “Cannot Stop” this month as the Lord helps me. So fans should watch out for them.
You decided to go into Gospel music full time, when it was obscure and unlucrative, how was it then trying to be a ‘revolutionist’, changing the face of Gospel music in Nigeria?
Well, then I went into it because God called me to go all the way. I know I have a calling to Pastor but this was my first call. I could not have left a well paid job in First Bank to go into the unknown if I did not have an inward leading. Remember, I have been doing music from my teens, so naturally I continued when I was working in the bank but it didn’t work out. Banking hours were tedious and I could not combine work and music so, one had to give way.
I recall in those days when we had invitations to minister, I would go with my band (then we were 13) and 12 dancers. At the end of the day, no one would pay us. I had to be funding the band with my salary. Of course, you know that I could not keep up with that for long. My eyes opened when I travelled abroad and started relating with other gospel music artistes who taught me how to administer the Lord’s business.
Today, the story is different. The payment is still not up to our expectation and yes there are still those who feel that we should not charge fees because “it is a free gift”. I tell them the word of God is free but you have to buy a bible to read it. The gift of music is free, but the channel to communicate the gift to the world is very expensive. I know how much I pay to shoot just one video, not to talk about producing a full album. Now I have nine albums in all.
In your long years of ministering to people, which incidence really “wowed” your imaginations?
Several – one was when I travelled with a friend who is the Managing Partner of our NGO, Opal Awards to Poland for World Dancing Competition with children to represent Nigeria, and we happened to bump into some Nigerian student Doctors who invited us to their church the Sunday after the show, as it was African day. I was invited to sing and I sang some English songs.
This was not even an English speaking church. Suddenly, the Pastor asked if I could sing in our native dialect, and I felt, it would be too much for them to handle. I said, “well, I have a popular song in Nigeria which I wrote titled, Akanam nkwe”, to my amazement, they starting clapping and telling me that they knew it. To prove a point, one of the white people sang it in the best way she could and I was like “wow”.
Another one happened in South Africa where 10 armed teenagers entered a church I was ministering in at night in Port Elizabeth. It’s a long story, but they came to rob us at gun point, but the power of God hit them and they ended up giving their lives to Christ. I will not ever forget that incidence. Then I have also recorded a lot of healings taking place when I minister, that is why I know that there is power in anointed music. Music is much more than just singing, when it is spiritual music, you release the power of God.
With all you have achieved, are you totally fulfilled, are there still dreams you wish to fulfill?
I thank God for bringing me this far but I feel I haven’t really achieved much. I have unfulfilled dreams which I pray God to help me achieve. My major hindrance is finance or sponsorship, for the kind of projects I have in mind, but I believe that when there is life, there is hope.
Apart from music, what do you do?
I love fashion a lot and I am hoping to start my own clothing line soon. I also run a food delivery service – majorly our “Calabar” food. I am a very good cook. It started when people would come to my house in South Africa to eat, then they would wish they had such food in the refrigerator. I volunteered to cook for them at a cost. During the world cup in South Africa a lot of Nigerians enjoyed my cooking. When I came back to Nigeria, I continued. We have orders weekly but I look forward to when I could start a proper restaurant. Also, I write…..I have some unfinished books.
Are any of your children taking after you musically?
Yes, my son Richard is a great dancer. He has a group known as M.A.D-X Dance Crew. They have even featured in Nigeria’s Got Talent and perform annually in the Calabar Carnival. They also minister in dance in churches.
I started acting while in primary school –Bridget Chigbufue
Funnily, it was my very first soap opera where I played ‘Essien’, the bush Calabar girl, that brought me out. A lot of people saw it, it’s funny, and they loved it. That was how I started really. Then ‘Game Plan’ another movie, a lot of people referred to me because of the fame I got from that movie. Those are the two major movies that brought me into the limelight. Interestingly, ‘Game Plan’ is a production that is always aired in ‘Africa Magic’. You can imagine how many people watch ‘Africa Magic’. It’s crazy, we are getting better and stronger.
What was your most challenging role so far?
I have been in movies and soaps; I think every role is different and challenging. That particular one I did where I played as a Calabar bush girl, I had to watch a lot of Calabar movies just to be able to act to reality, to be able to deliver the right accent for the character. She was supposed to be a bush Calabar girl as I said who couldn’t speak English well. I had to learn about it, watch so many movies that had Calabar intonations. I just had to learn it. I changed my L to R and my A to G, it was crazy. But it turned out right. Even in the ‘Game Plan’, I played the role of a bad girl. Every role has a weird challenge. But the idea is to beat that challenge, so as to deliver. So every production has been a challenging one for me.
Which actor would you love to be paired to bring out your best in a romance role?
Truth is that there isn’t anyone in particular because you can never tell what goes on in a person’s mouth. There is really nobody that I have thought about.
How was your growing up?
Growing up was very interesting and nice. I grew up in Lagos. It was at an estate, so we had kids playing up and down and going to the same school. We played downstairs and never forgot ‘Tales by Moonlight’ or ‘Super Ted’ as a child. I never forget all those games we used to play, ‘Twinkle-Twinkle’ and the rest of them. Those were the childhood days and everyday even when I’m down now as a grown up, I relive those moments. I would also never forget my secondary school days, I was a boarder all through and it was crazy. You know how it was junior girls being punished. It was interesting and it’s a moment I would never forget. And, of course, my three weeks camp in Lagos as a youth corps member. Lagos was an amazing place and it is still amazing. All these experiences have impacted in one way positively in my life, especially in school when I used to do stage dramas and all that. It was an amazing experience. I mean that I started acting on stage right from primary school and it has now become something else for me.
Who do you aspire to be like in Nollywood and Hollywood?
As I said, I’m an actor and at present I have so many people I’m aspiring to be like. Rita Dominic is one of them. She has tried her best. I like Stephanie Okereke Linus for her carriage and strength. She is a strong woman. I admire Joke Silva, she has an amazing diction, loving home and marriage. I love the fact that she has been married for so many years in the industry and there is nothing wrong and they are still going strong. Mercy Johnson is a versatile actress and I love her for that. There are lots of up-and-coming actresses that are also amazing. I can’t really mention all their names. For Hollywood, I love Angela Basat, she is an amazing actress. I love Charlie Sterone, she has a strong personality and she carries her character really strongly. I love the weirdness that it brings along from Jenifer Armston, she is crazy and the will to want to defeat every crazy thing you have is amazing when she does it. Then for presenting, I still love the late Joan Rivers. She was witty.
In entertainment industry, fashion and lifestyle, it’s kind of like my main thing in presenting. As a TV Presenter, I love her. I also love Tricia. I like her down-to-earth mannerisms even doing her show. It’s one that I think every show in Nigeria both the TV should have…an opportunity to be down-to-earth, to be able to say things the right way and to be able to criticise or scold whoever that is on set even when the person is wrong. Do it because the person needs to hear the truth. Only the truth should be on air. That is what she does. Oprah Winfrey is an inspirational woman who has given and built a lot out of her career. I would always like to be like her when I grow up.
Can you relive your debut on movie?
It was in 2011 in a movie entitled ‘Open Heavens’. I got that role through an audition in Benin. I had finished school and I was awaiting youth service. I was good, he liked the way I interpreted that role. I’m glad that he gave me that opportunity. Lancelot the movie producer also put me through in some other things that we needed as a screen actor. It was a nice experience and I would never forget that one thing he did for me. It kicked up my acting career and that was even before ‘The Next Movie Star’.
What if your husband in future asks you to quit acting?
I would oblige him, he is my husband but we would come to terms with something. There has to be some understanding before I get married. He should understand what I was doing. If he should ask me to quit, it has to be for some really strong reasons that I can’t possibly refuse. We would have to talk about that.
What are the qualities of your ideal man?
My ideal man might not always be available but he should be tall. He should be fair-complexioned and humble. He should be generous, considerate and tolerant. He should love God, I mean someone who can impact on me and I on him. Someone who gives the best advice and he is business-oriented. He should be handsome because I’m not ugly so that when I wake up and look at you in the morning, I would be happy (laughs loudly).
What puts you off a man?
Pretension and lies. If I discover these two things in you, I would put my two hands on my head and run.
‘Determination helps marriage work’
‘As far as Mrs Tata Toe- Ekechi, an industrial mathematician
turned banker is concerned, every couple going into the marriage
institution should be determined to make it work. “I was determined to
make success of the marriage and God is really crowning my effort with
success. I believe determination on the sides of both individuals
involved always work,”
Marriage is not one of the easiest institutions to deal with. How have you been able to deal with the challenges of yours?
As a mother of three and a wife of a man who is ever on the move, it has been God that has been helping me to succeed this far. There were series of challenges especially at those early years, but God and my determination to remain married no matter the situation and the condition has kept me on.
I put God first in everything and I guess that’s why it has been possible for me to overcome my troubles even to appeal to my in-laws. I was determined to make success of the marriage and God is really crowning my effort with success. I think with God at the background of my marriage and my determination to make it work, my home has been able to stay till today. I believe determination on the sides of both individuals involved always work.
Do you think in-laws are responsible for broken homes?
In some cases, yes. Most wives are faced with all kinds of issues with their in-laws, in some cases, it is the mother inlaw, in others, it is either the man’s brother, sister or both. And where the wife is not accepted, it is only a matter of time for the home to break. The reason is that the man is used to his family and will always feel troubled to separate from them.
There are also cases where the problem comes from the wife’s side. In most cases, where the woman is financially more comfortable than the man and this is known to her family, they may push her against her husband. There many homes that have become broken because of this. That is where determination plays very important role in any marriage.
If the couples are determined to stay in the marriage, no turbulence can separate them. And determination cannot stand alone; it must go with God and godliness. If you will pray well and take godly steps, the storm, no matter how strong will be put abbey.
Is it possible for a wife to satisfy her inlaws?
Terrible and difficult as most in-laws are, I tell you with God; it is possible to please them. I won’t tell you that I am married to a family where there are no challenges; we have our own little quarrels but we keep finding a way of settling them. I look at my in-laws as my own and try as much as I can to overlook bitter incidents. Like I said, I was determined to stay in my marriage, so, I believe I don’t have anywhere to go, and so, I stay.. My mother was always drumming it into our hears that we had no room left for us in our father’s house once we get married and it sunk into my consciousness. So, I tried to do all to remain in marriage as much as I can and God has been my helper. I apologise for any wrong on my part.
There are times when my husband would say look, you are my wife, you are not supposed to do this to my people, I would go there to apologise. I was not even aware that my husband holds these things to his heart and like I told you, I could not hold back tears when he was talking about them in the public on the day he held a birthday bash specially for me.. I have to tell you that marriage has not been that easy but I just thank God for His teachings and His words for they have taken me this far.
With a simple heart, a heart that is ready to obey God and her husband, a wife will win her in-laws to her side. Just don’t see yourself as being above them, or better than them. Respect them also if not for anything but for the love you have for your husband and your desire to stay in the marriage to take care of your children.
You said your husband is always on the move. How then have you been coping with his kind of person?
I think my ability to come to terms with his way of life and why it has to be so has generally been helpful. He grew up in Ajegunle and he had always dreaded going back to slum. Since I know him, he is always working and hardly rest. If you ask him why? He would simply say “ I don’t want to go back to where I was before. There is no money and I have a lot of dependants. I have to work hard to take these people to where they would be able to stand on their own. I don’t want to see poverty anymore.”
So, he had kept on working and I know he has achieved a lot in this direction. Being a banker means that you are frequently away from the house. How do you balance the two? The job of a banker and that of a mother are two different things. You cannot compare the two of them. When I am at the office, I do my job and once I am at home, I face my family.
No woman is exonerated for blaming her broken home on the kind of job she has. No one expects your home front to suffer just because of your kind of work. You have to be on your toes all the time and I thank God that He has given me the grace to balance the two: keeping the home going and not lacking in my job. I make sure my kids, and even my husband, are okay.
What is your advice to young female professionals out there who see marriage as a way of servitude?
I think with my experience, I would advise them not to see marriage as a way of caging a woman. Even some men feel so. I think once God gives you the favour and chance to get married, no matter how educated you are or big you are, you should be happy and get set to enjoy yourself. There is nothing like being married. I have seen women who are more successful than their male counterparts or their husbands, but there is nothing like being with a man. There are many of things that go with it. When you go out or in your office, functions or anywhere, when you say you are Mrs so and so, people respect you.
They can say it is because you are someone’s wife that I am leaving you. But if you are not married, the respect is not there; even younger people would talk to you anyhow because they know you are single. So my advice is that once these guys start coming, they should give them the chance and when they come, we should deal with them with a simple heart. When a woman sees herself above a man just because of her position in the office, she won’t be able to keep her marriage. Pride, we all know goes before a downfall.
On a lighter mood, do you pick your husband’s call or read his text messages?
(Laughter) You want me to leave my children now? No. I have done it before and it didn’t feel good at the end of the day. So, I advise myself to desist from doing that to prevent myself from a heart attack Even when he ask me to pick it, I would say no. I don’t also read his text messages. He is a man. Even if he is a cripple, women will still go after him not to talk of a man like him. My mother says what you don’t see or hear can not disturb you.
What do you think is the best approach to a blissful marriage?
You see, every family has their own peculiarities. Coming together to dialogue and discuss what the trouble is what couples don’t do. I mean bridging the gap of communication is very important. Besides, two captains, they say, cannot run a ship so, I don’t like it when wives want to be at par with their husbands. Respecting your man, no matter how big your status is will keep him on your side always. Since I I have been married, my husband has always been winning. And that is what my pastor said: allow him to win, leave the rest to God. If you say you want to boss a man, the next day, you would be outside that home.
Even if you adopt any charm, be assured that it will run of its potency one day. The aftermath then will not be palatable. If you want your home to stay till death do you part, you have to give in to the man. A good wife is she who is calm when things are hot but after the coast seems clear, she takes her time to explain things gently to her husband. You don’t shout when your husband is shouting or try to rub shoulders with him like we have said. Even if you earn more than he does, you cannot become the man of the house. In our culture, a man is a man, no matter what. This is what I do. I don’t preach what I don’t practice.
Marriage is not one of the easiest institutions to deal with. How have you been able to deal with the challenges of yours?
As a mother of three and a wife of a man who is ever on the move, it has been God that has been helping me to succeed this far. There were series of challenges especially at those early years, but God and my determination to remain married no matter the situation and the condition has kept me on.
I put God first in everything and I guess that’s why it has been possible for me to overcome my troubles even to appeal to my in-laws. I was determined to make success of the marriage and God is really crowning my effort with success. I think with God at the background of my marriage and my determination to make it work, my home has been able to stay till today. I believe determination on the sides of both individuals involved always work.
Do you think in-laws are responsible for broken homes?
In some cases, yes. Most wives are faced with all kinds of issues with their in-laws, in some cases, it is the mother inlaw, in others, it is either the man’s brother, sister or both. And where the wife is not accepted, it is only a matter of time for the home to break. The reason is that the man is used to his family and will always feel troubled to separate from them.
There are also cases where the problem comes from the wife’s side. In most cases, where the woman is financially more comfortable than the man and this is known to her family, they may push her against her husband. There many homes that have become broken because of this. That is where determination plays very important role in any marriage.
If the couples are determined to stay in the marriage, no turbulence can separate them. And determination cannot stand alone; it must go with God and godliness. If you will pray well and take godly steps, the storm, no matter how strong will be put abbey.
Is it possible for a wife to satisfy her inlaws?
Terrible and difficult as most in-laws are, I tell you with God; it is possible to please them. I won’t tell you that I am married to a family where there are no challenges; we have our own little quarrels but we keep finding a way of settling them. I look at my in-laws as my own and try as much as I can to overlook bitter incidents. Like I said, I was determined to stay in my marriage, so, I believe I don’t have anywhere to go, and so, I stay.. My mother was always drumming it into our hears that we had no room left for us in our father’s house once we get married and it sunk into my consciousness. So, I tried to do all to remain in marriage as much as I can and God has been my helper. I apologise for any wrong on my part.
There are times when my husband would say look, you are my wife, you are not supposed to do this to my people, I would go there to apologise. I was not even aware that my husband holds these things to his heart and like I told you, I could not hold back tears when he was talking about them in the public on the day he held a birthday bash specially for me.. I have to tell you that marriage has not been that easy but I just thank God for His teachings and His words for they have taken me this far.
With a simple heart, a heart that is ready to obey God and her husband, a wife will win her in-laws to her side. Just don’t see yourself as being above them, or better than them. Respect them also if not for anything but for the love you have for your husband and your desire to stay in the marriage to take care of your children.
You said your husband is always on the move. How then have you been coping with his kind of person?
I think my ability to come to terms with his way of life and why it has to be so has generally been helpful. He grew up in Ajegunle and he had always dreaded going back to slum. Since I know him, he is always working and hardly rest. If you ask him why? He would simply say “ I don’t want to go back to where I was before. There is no money and I have a lot of dependants. I have to work hard to take these people to where they would be able to stand on their own. I don’t want to see poverty anymore.”
So, he had kept on working and I know he has achieved a lot in this direction. Being a banker means that you are frequently away from the house. How do you balance the two? The job of a banker and that of a mother are two different things. You cannot compare the two of them. When I am at the office, I do my job and once I am at home, I face my family.
No woman is exonerated for blaming her broken home on the kind of job she has. No one expects your home front to suffer just because of your kind of work. You have to be on your toes all the time and I thank God that He has given me the grace to balance the two: keeping the home going and not lacking in my job. I make sure my kids, and even my husband, are okay.
What is your advice to young female professionals out there who see marriage as a way of servitude?
I think with my experience, I would advise them not to see marriage as a way of caging a woman. Even some men feel so. I think once God gives you the favour and chance to get married, no matter how educated you are or big you are, you should be happy and get set to enjoy yourself. There is nothing like being married. I have seen women who are more successful than their male counterparts or their husbands, but there is nothing like being with a man. There are many of things that go with it. When you go out or in your office, functions or anywhere, when you say you are Mrs so and so, people respect you.
They can say it is because you are someone’s wife that I am leaving you. But if you are not married, the respect is not there; even younger people would talk to you anyhow because they know you are single. So my advice is that once these guys start coming, they should give them the chance and when they come, we should deal with them with a simple heart. When a woman sees herself above a man just because of her position in the office, she won’t be able to keep her marriage. Pride, we all know goes before a downfall.
On a lighter mood, do you pick your husband’s call or read his text messages?
(Laughter) You want me to leave my children now? No. I have done it before and it didn’t feel good at the end of the day. So, I advise myself to desist from doing that to prevent myself from a heart attack Even when he ask me to pick it, I would say no. I don’t also read his text messages. He is a man. Even if he is a cripple, women will still go after him not to talk of a man like him. My mother says what you don’t see or hear can not disturb you.
What do you think is the best approach to a blissful marriage?
You see, every family has their own peculiarities. Coming together to dialogue and discuss what the trouble is what couples don’t do. I mean bridging the gap of communication is very important. Besides, two captains, they say, cannot run a ship so, I don’t like it when wives want to be at par with their husbands. Respecting your man, no matter how big your status is will keep him on your side always. Since I I have been married, my husband has always been winning. And that is what my pastor said: allow him to win, leave the rest to God. If you say you want to boss a man, the next day, you would be outside that home.
Even if you adopt any charm, be assured that it will run of its potency one day. The aftermath then will not be palatable. If you want your home to stay till death do you part, you have to give in to the man. A good wife is she who is calm when things are hot but after the coast seems clear, she takes her time to explain things gently to her husband. You don’t shout when your husband is shouting or try to rub shoulders with him like we have said. Even if you earn more than he does, you cannot become the man of the house. In our culture, a man is a man, no matter what. This is what I do. I don’t preach what I don’t practice.
Wednesday 23 September 2015
Kylie Jenner shows off hot Bikini body at her 27m home
The youngest of the Kardashian clan, Kylie Jenner never ceases to amaze with her hot bikini body. The 18 year-old reality star shows off her sexy body at the poolside of her luxury $2.7million
Tuesday 22 September 2015
‘My wife refuses to bear my surname’
• She always tells me that she is comfortable with her father’s
name, and that she cannot change it — Husband
The president also ordered Johnson to pay N50, 000 rehabilitation cost to Helen. Johnson, it was gathered, had filed a suit for the dissolution of the marriage over Helen’s refusal to change her surname. The petitioner told the court that since he married Helen in 2010, she had refused to bear his name. “She always tells me that she is comfortable with her father’s name, and that she cannot change it,” Johnson said. He also submitted that Helen was too demanding, adding that she insisted that he should rent a flat for her and be giving her N10,000 weekly for upkeep. “When I tried to explain that I didn’t have money to rent a flat, she told me that she agreed to marry me just to solve her personal problem.
“She said that she was diagnosed of a womb ailment and that the doctor advised her to get pregnant as soon as possible. “She told me that she had got what she wanted, and thereafter packed out of our apartment on January 16, 2011 with my son to an unknown destination,” he said. The petitioner also said that the woman regularly returned home late in the night. Responding, Helen told the court that she still loved her husband, although he was a drunk and had refused to care for his family. “He spends his salary on drinks and comes back home drunk,’’ she said Helen told the court that she sponsored their wedding ceremony in 2010 and that Johnson failed to reimburse her as he promised. She added that her husband abandoned her and the child for eight months and returned to seek divorce.
Monday 21 September 2015
‘My wife abandoned me for her career ’
I was the one who got her the job she is doing presently. But after we got married, I told her it will be better she becomes self employed so that she will have enough time for herself and the children. She refused to listen to me. I even promised I was going to open a big supermarket for her to manage but she insisted on continuing with the job. This was the cause of our quarrel.
I returned from work one day only to find out that she had packed her things and left with our seven-year old boy without my consent. “When I called her, she told me she was no longer interested in the marriage and that she could not continue to cope with me and my unnecessary demands.
All attempts to reach her again proved abortive as she had changed her telephone number.” Omoniyi told the court that he was taking good care of his family until he lost the job. He submitted that he gave her all the comfort he could afford, yet she was unyielding. Abimbola also accused Omoniyi of infidelity, saying that she was secretly dating another man. He consented to the dissolution of the 10-year marriage, saying that he was no longer interested in being married to Omoniyi. Omoniyi, a telecom engineer, had filed a divorce suit, claiming that Abimbola was irresponsible and a womanizer. “My husband is a womanizer and goes after anything in skirt. I even caught him with my niece in a compromising situation in our matrimonial home” she said. She added that Abimbola’s allegations were just a tissue of lies, saying, “He is lying against me just because he is jealous of me and wants to render me useless, which was why he is insisting on my resigning from my place of work.”
‘My wife is pregnant for another man’
• As I speak with you, she is carrying another man’s child. All I want is for the court to dissolve this
marriage and grant me custody of my children —Husband
• I want this court to dissolve the marriage. I am tired —Wife
Fortyseven-year-old Captain Kliffy Madueke told the Ikeja Customary Court that he wants his fifteen year marriage to Mercy, a banker dissolved on the grounds of adultery and disrespect to him. According to the flight captain, his wife has been cheating on him with several men. He said, “I want this honourable court to dissolve this marriage because this woman has been so ungrateful to me. She cheats on me with another man and as I am speaking with you, she is carrying another man’s child.I want this court to dissolve the union and grant me custody of my two children who are 15 and 13 years old respectively” Madueke further disclosed that he had tried to cope with her laziness for years, hoping that she would change, but that has not been the case. “She is extremely lazy. I will return home after flying for hours and sometimes for days and will have to start cooking what to eat. She would even join me in eating the food without batting an eyelid. She is so insensitive.
This has caused several quarrels between us over the years. Precisely a year ago, she packed her things and left the house, saying she could not stand our quarrels anymore. She, however, left with very important documents, including my international passport, my children’s international passport, my flight licence and other vital documents and my SUV vehicle because I was not at home when she left. “When I noticed the absence of my documents and my car, I went to her father’s house where she went to and collected my stuff from her. She was not willing to let go until I threatened to ensure that she lost her job, because I was the one who got the job for her in the first place.
After sometime, because of the children, I went back to her to plead that she should come back home so we could start our lives on a new slate. She refused and said she was through with me. I did this for over three months with no result, only for me to discover that she was actually seeing another man. As I speak with you, she is carrying another man’s child. All I want is for the court to dissolve this marriage and grant me cus tody of my children.” Mercy, on the other hand, denied all the allegations levelled against her by her husband, adding that she also wants the union to be dissolved because she was tired of the constant quarrel. “I am not pregnant for anybody and I am not dating anybody. But I want this marriage dissolved because I am tired of the constant quarrels and pain.” “He is adulterous. He sleeps with everything in skirt.
I stopped hiring house helps because he sleeps with them. He cheats on me even to my face. I want this court to dissolve the marriage, I am tired.” After listening to both parties, the case was adjourned for further hearing by the court president, Mr. Sam Aluko.
Why I don’t have tattoos – Mercy Aigbe
Mercy Aigbe-Gentry keeps notching her fame higher. The amiable actress won the Yoruba Movie Personality of The Year at the City People Awards last week. Married to a hotelier and businessman Lanre Gentry, the mother of two has successfully managed both her career and the home front. In this chat with AJIBADE ALABI, the Osas and Komfo star speaks about her new work Victims, beauty secrets and other issues.
Congratulations on your new award. How did you feel winning it? I was very happy and excited winning the Yoruba Movie personality of the Year 2015 (smiles). That’s another feather to my cap, to God be the glory. And I just want to thank all my fans who voted for me; I was simply happy. There’s this thing about awards; it actually makes you sit back and think there is something one is doing right somewhere; I mean some people are noticing what I am doing, so it makes you want to put more effort.
Considering other nominees with you, did you feel you were going to win? Well, just being nominated alone was a great honour, it’s not easy. It was like fifty; if I won, fine; if I didn’t, just being nominated was just enough for me, and thank God I eventually won; everybody wants to win.
What exactly is your movie ‘ Victims’ about?
‘Victims’ is about a young lady who has to go through a lot of things in life; things she didn’t call for. A lot of people experience things that it’s not like they brought it upon themselves. I would say it’s probably fate, providence or destiny. So she had to go through a lot of things and how she dealt with the issues. It’s a very emotional, intriguing movie; full of suspense. It’s a movie I belief once it eventually comes out and people get to see it, they are just going to love it. It’s a movie that teaches lots of morals, it talks to parents and also talks about marriage, because I believe that today, people don’t really respect the institution marriage, and people who are not patient enough to want bear so many things that come with being in union with another person. They forget that we are different individuals from different backgrounds with different upbringing, so they are not ready to compromise; so many things, they are just not ready. That’s why most marriages don’t work out. It also talks about domestic
violence, the home; it’s simply a bumper package and I’m sure people are just going to love it.
Are you saying it is a life experience? No, it’s actually based on different people’s experiences; stories I heard from different people, so I decided to put all together in one package. And there’s this particular thing we talked about in the movie; that’s the baby factory issue; when you have fake doctors go on the streets to pick up teenagers, giving them the hope that they are going to get rehabilitated whereas they are going to use them for their own selfish needs; get them impregnated, sell the babies. So, those are part of the things you’re going to see in the movie.
What informed bringing Saheed and Fathia Balogun together on that set? Both are fantastic actor and actress, they have been in the industry for a long time, they are both my senior colleagues; people I respect so much; each of them has carved a niche for themselves in the industry. So, when I was casting, I saw that these two individuals can actually play the roles I want them to play perfectly well in the movie, that was why I casted them. They are professionals and they actually gave me their best. If you were on that set, you would have gotten the better picture. Also the Ghanaian, Juliet Ibrahim, was excited playing that role. Learning a new language was thrilling for her. You know there’s something about it when you are doing something different from the usual; it’s always very exciting and adventurous. So she was very happy playing the role, and it was very good having her on set; she gave in her best and I was very happy working with her.
You also got Lancelot Imaseun as your director? Oh my God (her face glowed), Lancelot! Okay I don’t want to sound tribalistic anyway, but he’s my big uncle because he is also from Benin which is my tribe. Besides that, we all know that he is someone to reckon with when it comes to directing in
Nollywood. He has paid his dues, he’s a fantastic director. Before the Victims, I was on set in Benin for a movie titled Two Sides of a Coin and it was a different experience for me because he is an artistic director who knows how to give you what you really want on set; brings out the best in you eventually. So after that set, I was like oh my next job, I’ll love this man to direct it; so when the script came I sent it to him, he read it and he said “oh this is a fantastic script, I want to do it.” And he was also excited because it was his first Yoruba job. ‘Victims’ is sixty percent Yoruba, forty percent English movie. And he was really excited because he was going to be working with different people. So it was very exciting to work with him.
Your fashion sense, how did you create it? I’ve always loved looking good. I’ve always loved gett ing complements from people about my looks. I’m also a person who loves pictures; I love to dress up and take pictures
of myself.
When you are stepping out, how long does it take to makeup? It doesn’t really take look. But obviously, event takes much time than my daily makeup.
Like how many hours does it take? Approximately two and a half hours, because makeup artists take so much time on your face, I really don’t know why! I think the fastest makeup artist that has worked on my face spent nothing less than an hour, thirty minutes; some actually take up to three hours and I’ll be like ‘I’m tired!’ That was why I said two-and-a-half hours. Dress for about an hour; make sure everything is fi xed in the right places; get the other ones too that are very important. But for my everyday look, I try as much as possible to pick up whatever I want to wear the night before. At times, my mood determines my dress.
The last time, you said you are also launching your own hair line? Yes, now we have Magdiva Hair, which is going to be launched very soon. We have different types of hair. I have my own cosmetic line; it’s just about beauty. We guys in Nigeria have complained about some girls looking like impersonators too often; when you meet them, they will look like white, but when you get to know them properly, you discover they are actually black.
You are into fashion, what do you have to say about this deceitful appearance? It depends on the individual, and I’ve always respected people’s opinion and how they choose to live their life. If you feel you are dark and you want to make yourself lighter; if that will earn you confidence and comfort, I’d say go for it, but do not damage your skin in the process. I keep telling my clients that my products are not chemical based, they are made of herbs, so you don’t need to exercise fear over my products. In the process of looking for comfort and confidence however, please do not get your life affected, because a lot of people have lost their lives because of this. And as for men who fall victim of the impersonators, I think the ladies are actually giving you what you want, so please appreciate people with dark, naturally looking girls. Therefore, guys are to blame for their actions. So on this note; we are going to go into men’s fashion in the nearest future.
Are you a subscriber to waist trainer? Yes I am, because I believe it’s not damaging anything in my body; it only enhances my look. What won’t yoMaybe clothes that show all the parts of my body; I won’t like to wear that.
How come you don’t have tattoos? A lot of your colleagues do. Maybe it’s because I dread pains. But seriously, I don’t like it on me, because I’m like an insatiable person when it comes to having things like that on my body; today I may like a bird, and the following day I’ll get tired of that and want to change it. And aside that, in my job, you’ll have to play different roles; so it automatically restricts the number of roles you can play in a movie, so I feel as a professional actress, you shouldn’t, maybe to an extent, have a permanent thing on your body.
What is your fashion weakness? The fact is, I actually like everything when it comes to fashion; I think I’m greedy when it comes to fashion; clothes, bags, shoes, everything.
Which one of those items do you have more? Maybe shoes, but I’ve lost count; and I hardly sleep in my room now. This morning, a thought just crossed my mind that maybe I should do something for my die-hard followers, my fans, if they don’t mind, the clothes I’ve worn not more than once, very soon I’m going to be giving them out to them.
What is your most expensive fashion item? That will be a wrist watch, which my husband gave me in 2010, I think.
What is that item that will really drive you crazy? That will be a body con-dress, because my husband says it shows the beautiful part in my body.
What is that fashion item you can never leave home without? That will be my purse, asides my bag. Is your contact lens medicated? Yes it is; and I really love sunshades.
Are you long-sightedor short-sighted? I’m short-sighted.
Do you think you can do a movie that surpasses Osas? Of course, I’m sure Victims surpassed Osas, is that not so? Osas is very close to my heart, because it’s actually the fi rst time I was playing a comic role in a movie, and actually the fi rst time I’d got to speak my indigenous language which is Benin. But I’m very sure Victims surpassed Osas. When you did Osas, everyone knew you were really hungry for fame, which might have made you to be very active in the movie.
Now that you’ve become a stakeholder in the movie industry, can you play such role again in movies? The only role I can never play is to act nude. But asides that I will do anything.
Do you still have a dream role? Yes, I’ve never played an imbecile role, and I look forward to playing it in any movie. A lot of your colleagues have ventured into music and politics, would you? For music, not at all, I restrict myself to my bathroom, singing every morning because I think I don’t have the voice. Then for politics, I think there’s a chance, because I have a serious passion for the less privileged; maybe later, not now, I will do politics.
With several speculations on social media and for the record, is Mercy Pregnant? No, I wish I was.
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