‘I use beauty shows to empower younger women’

Affable Lady Juliet Geoffrey-Porbeni is the managing director 2Side Modelling Concepts and the founder of Miss Green And White Nigeria, a company that organises the popular ‘Miss Green And White Nigeria Beauty Pageant’.
According to this ex-beauty queen, she is determined to use the platform she knows well to empower younger women by giving them a chance in the beauty world.
“I was once a beauty queen, I love fashion and I’m determined to use beauty pageantry as a platform to empower younger women. I will use it as a vehicle to pass good messages to people, create a stronger platform for young women to voice out their passion and work towards achieving their dreams. So, the next beauty pageant is on October 4,” she disclosed.
Lady Geoffrey-Porbeni still remembers vividly what her tenure was as a beauty queen.
“I was awarded ‘The Most Intelligent Queen’ at ‘The Miss Hospitality Nigeria’ beauty pageant which took place in 2009. I remember I had lots of projects I worked on. And from the popular cliché which says that once a lady is crowned queen she is always a queen, I’m still working very hard to affect my generation positively. Believe me, I have never relented! As you can see that among all my peers, I’m proud to say that I’m the last one standing. Though most of us are married, I’m still very much in the game,” she stressed.
Unveiling what stands her beauty pageant out as a person who had experienced what it is like to be a queen, she said that “presently the world is changing and young people are being used as an instrument of destruction, violence and terrorism. As a lover of peace, I have been looking for ways to pass important messages across to my country and the world. I’m glad that God has given me a concept with which to use to pass my message. Hence, I decided to use my pageantry as a medium to promote peace and unity in my country.”
She emphasises on what the participants stand to gain from the show.
“My beauty pageant is unique because it is a national programme that promotes peace and unity in Nigeria and brings into memory Nigeria’s independence. When I’m sourcing for contestants I opt for intelligent girls because my crown is also about beauty and brain.
“That is why after selecting them, I make sure that my crew and I create different activities that would educate them more on what we stand for and make them get better. They would be camped for seven days to be groomed thoroughly. We have lots of activities mapped out for them, including seminars and workshops, acquisition programmes for some of the models that want to be presenters. They would also be taught how to get hotter on catwalks, aerobic exercises, health management, cooking competition, etc. No beauty aspirant is expected to while away her time in camp,” she said.
Her queens are not meant only to wear beauty crowns and sash.
“The reason is that the sole objective of my pageant is to promote peace and unity in my country. Hence, my queens are meant to work/act on the objectives of the pageant. Though they may as well have their own personal projects,” she explained.
Lady Porbeni is however confronted with some challenges in what she does because no good thing comes easy.
“Finance is one of the major challenges. Nigerians are waiting for you to be a celebrity before they come out in force to support you even if your idea is meaningful and positive. But by God’s grace, I will get there. This is what I’m doing with a passion. If I have sponsors or not, I must move forward,” she said.
This workaholic says she enjoys every aspect of her job.
“I enjoy every part of my job because it is what I love to do and what thrills me most about my contestants is that they are all very determined to clutch the diamond-studded crown,” she said smilingly.

To some Nigerian mothers who don’t allow their daughters participate in beauty pageants believing that it is unnecessary exposure for the girl child, she has some words: “Parents if you don’t allow your daughters make use of their God-given creativity, they might end up choosing wrong profession. Please allow them discover themselves even if not through pageantries but through other heart-desired professions. I would like if parents could learn to support and guide them in their choice of career,” she said.

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Kissing is part of the game

That kissing is very important in the game of intimacy is an understatement. It is a key instrument and that real romantic couples cannot but observe before making love. It serves as a form of introduction.
However, much as almost everyone would agree that kissing is significant, hardly do many make the best use of it. For instance, for most men, it is most of the time not properly explored before a plunge is taken into the real sexual activity. That is, even when it is being carried out as foreplay, it hardly lasts. It is done in a hurry.
Many may not agree with me, but the problem many have is that couples don’’t know how to kiss! Yes. Kissing is not all about putting the lips together or running the tongue on the other person’’s tongue or lips. Effectively done, it gives a good feeling that couples would normally want to last very long.
Why most couples prefer to get it done with very fast is because they don’’t enjoy it the way it should be. The truth of the matter is that only if couples find time to learn or do it the proper way would they know what they are missing.
Let’’s go through the techniques as put down by those who know better:
Do a few soft kisses. Start slow with soft, gentle kisses and skip the tongue and the teeth —— for now. If your partner seems receptive, you can move forward to French kissing. In case you don’’t know, French kissing is a system whereby you use your tongue during a kiss. One cannot understand why it is so referred in Western culture, anyway. While doing the kissing, avoid making your lips smack as the sound might distract. All you need to do is slow down and part your lips a little bit more if you find out that you are smacking. Also, avoid your lips against partner ’’s mouth. The slow gentle move allows you to ascertain the level of his or her interest. It also allows the partner to stop if he or she feels uncomfortable.
Maintain a moderate level of saliva. Avoid too much saliva. In case your lips are becoming too wet, you should withdraw and nicely reduce it.
““Lock”” lips. If your initial kisses have gone well, try a lip lock, which can lead to closer kisses. Essentially, you’’ll ““stack”” your lips. Putting your partner’’s lower lip between yours is the safest bet. Most people have larger lower lips, making them easier to grab gently with your lips. Breathe while you kiss. Ideally, you’’ll be able to breathe softly through your nose while you’’re kissing. If that’’s not possible, though, break away for a second to take a breath. It will be wrong to feel suffocated. If you breathe hard, you will only be showing a sign of being nervous or that you are rather excited, making your partner feel flattered.
Don’’t hang your hands. Put them to use. You can place your hands lightly on your partner’’s shoulders or around his or her waist. (In Western culture, girls generally put their hands on boys shoulders while he puts his hands around her waist.). You could pull your partner closer.
Also, put your hands on the sides of his or her face, using your thumb to sweep across the cheekbone, or put one hand under his or her chin and tilt it upward. Another seriously good move is to put both hands around the back of your partner’’s head and tangle them in his or her hair, gently pulling.
Test using tongue. Once you’’re in a lip lock with your partner’’s lower lip between both of yours, lightly run the tip of your tongue over it. If you can move it slowly, the better. Then, gauge your partner’’s response. If he or she presses in closer or returns the gesture, you’’re probably clear to keep increasing the intensity of the kiss. If your partner pulls away, maybe it’’s best to pull back the tongue for now and stick to lips-only kisses.
Try French kissing (if you like). Sweep your tongue along the inside of your partner’’s lower lip. Try to move slowly and lightly at first, increasing speed and pressure only if your partner seems to respond well. Slide the tip of your tongue inside your partner’’s mouth and gently move it against the tip of his or her tongue. Use light, darting motions and keep your tongue moving —— letting it sit limply in your partner’’s mouth isn’’t appealing and will bring a quick end to the kissing. Try deeper and harder strokes if your partner seems responsive.

Be sensitive however, to your partner’’s response to know whether to slow down or pull the brake. Ensure not to be too excited also to avoid hurting each other. Remember again that either of you can take the lead and of course, there is still room for an improvement. Enjoy.

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‘He wants to kill me with too much sex’

 I wish to divorce my husband because he is too fond of sex. All he knows in his life is sex. He has sexual intercourse with me at least six days of the week and it may be twice a day. He does not give me rest of mind. He monitors me around —Wife
A middle-aged woman, Soliat Adekojo, has asked a Grade ‘C’ Customary Court sitting in Mapo, Ibadan South-East Local Government Area of Oyo State to dissolve her five years marriage to her husband, Musibau over his excessive sexual desire.
The complainant, a trader who resides at Amuloko Area of Ibadan told the court that he seduced her into marrying him five years ago and the union is blessed with a child.
Soliat said, “I wish to divorce my husband because he is fond of sex. All he knows in his life is sex and is not an ordinary desire, but a marathon sex. He used to have sexual intercourse with me, at least six days of the week and it may be twice a day. He does not give me rest of mind. He monitors me around.
“I later got to know through his mother that I am the plaintiff ’s ninth wife.
“A week after I left his house, the plaintiff came with the police to arrest my brother, that I conspired with my brother to steal his N2.5 million.
“My brother was detained in police custody for three days but I was bailed the second day by one of the plaintiff ’s daughters, Sakirat. Sakirat explained to the police that her father (the plaintiff) was lying about his claim of stolen money.
“Last year June, my husband’s friend, Alhaji Adebolu, called me to inform me that my husband had parked all my belongings to his house. He explained that he also told him that he did want to see me and his son again.
“I later went to his friend’s house to park my things. A week after, I fell sick to the extent that I was referred to a psychiatric hospital for a brain examination because they said I was always mentioning the plaintiff ’s name during the sickness.
“My Lord, while passing through this sickness, the plaintiff did not for once ask after me or his only son.
“Early this year, the plaintiff arrested my brother again and he was detained at Agodi Prison for six days. He continuously threatened everyone around me with arrest.
“My Lord, I am fed up with this relationship. Please, separate us. I don’t want to die now.”
Responding to his wife’s allegation, Musibau who is an Alfa admitted to the claims but asked the court to allow him have custody of the child because his wife cannot cater for the child.
In his ruling, President of the court, Chief Agbaje Olasunkami averred, “Having observed the evidence given by both parties, the court rules thus: the divorce on repayment of bride price is hereby granted with immediate effect.”

Olasukanmi ordered that the child remain in custody of the plaintiff while the defendant must be paying a monthly sum of N3, 000 for the upkeep of the child until he is grown up. (NAN).

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I do only family friendly jokes —Damola Adegboye

Damola Adegboye is one of Nigeria’s finest comedians. In this exclusive interview, the graduate of Political Science and International Relations, speaks about his passion for comedy and lecturing.

Who are you aspiring to be like in the world of comedy, and why?
I have a lot of people I admire but I perpetually aspire to be like Saco because of his leadership style. Not necessarily because he is a comedian but because of his approach to the job.
What was your growing up like?
Growing up was fun. I am from a very lively family. I grew up in Mushin, Lagos, had my primary education in Bosby Day Nursery and Primary School and Tunyo Primary School. I then proceeded to Federal Government College, Ikirun where I had my secondary education, then Osun State University where I had my first degree and the University of Ibadan where I had my Master’s degree in political science.
Why did you choose comedy as a career?
For me, comedy is an inborn thing. It was initially a hobby, but when people started seeing value in it, it developed into a career because it was converted from a hobby to a product that has monetary value.
Can you briefly define your style?
Simplicity, elegance, maturity. What is your style signature? I really don’t have a particular one, but you will always see me looking sharp and smart.
Apart from comedy, what are the other things you do?
I am a lecturer in the same university I came out of as a first class. This made the school authorities retain me as a junior lecturer. So if I’m not doing comedy, I will be lecturing.
How do you combine them together?
I try as much as possible to marry the both of them together. I have a timetable that I work with, and it has been of good help to me.
How do you give back to the society?
I try as much as possible to assist the few I can, and also help in charity work.
What are your achievements so far?
I have been privileged to enjoy some awesome platforms that I can’t count within and outside the country. I’ve been privileged to anchor Babatunde Fashola’s younger brother’s wedding, co-anchored Pastor Poju Oyemade’s wedding, and other high profile weddings. I’ve done a lot of corporate events with reputable national and multinational organizations like KPMG, Union Bank, Stanbic Bank, First Bank, Nestle, UAC Foods, Flour Mills of Nigeria, to mention a few. God has been faithful. One that is dear to me is a comedy performance of an old woman’s testimony that went viral.
When did you start having passion for comedy?
It started from childhood where I used to mimic my teachers at home after school, I see it as inborn thing, and I also I was in my church drama group all these add together make me know I will be a comedian.
What happened to you when you were a child that you still remember?
A lot of things happened, when I went to visit my cousins and I stood in a colony of soldier ants and I didn’t notice until they were all over me.
What is your philosophy of life?
Keep doing well at what you know how to do best, be humble and focused; you will rise to where God wants you to be. I also encourage as many as possible to go school.
Comedy seems to be the rave now but your education is a lasting legacy that can’t depart from you. I graduated with a first class and I have been doing comedy before I graduated, so it is possible to combine successfully with the help of God.
Are you actually enjoying what you do as a comedian? Are you fulfilled?
I am enjoying what I do, one of my aims is to make people happy and I find fulfillment in it.
What kind of comedy do you think Nigerians want that you are giving them?
For me, I do ethical jokes, I do it clean and make sure its family friendly, most importantly, I make sure people can relate with what I say on stage.
Where do you think Nigerian comedians are not getting it right?
I really don’t know, but I feel the originality is not really in place. I feel comedians should adopt their own style and avoid being who they are not.
What stands you out in the comedy world?
I think my style and my approach to the job stands me out. I can fit into any kind of crowd conveniently. God has always helped me.
Have you been embarrassed on stage before?
The first wedding I anchored, in 2009, my dressing was terrible, and for the whole of that day I wasn’t comfortable with my presentation, it was a nasty experience that day.
Where do you see comedy in Nigeria in the next five years?

I see comedy as a big business in Nigeria. Moreover, it’ll be bigger and better structured and will compete globally.

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Toke Makinwa flashes her assets for husband?

It’s no longer news that Toke Makinwa’s marriage is in serious trouble. And probably to relieve herself of the resultant stress, she took a holiday in which she really let down her hair to the extent that she posted extremely salacious pictures of herself online.
Her physical assets were really on display in the pictures and men must definitely be salivating over them right now.

The pictures are her most intimate ever, and they seem to be a message to her husband, Maje Ayida, maybe to remind him that you don’t appreciate what you have until you lose it.

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Secular music more prominent on radio –Ann Inyang

Delectable Gospel songstress, Princess Ann Inyang who is a multiple award winner and United Nations Peace Ambassador shares her story with NGOZI EMEDOLIBE and VICTOR UDOH Excerpts:
What’s the story behind the hit song Akanam Nkwe?
When my song ‘Akanam Nkwe’ was released in 1996, people thought it was a South African song because they hadn’t heard a “Calabar” song with a calypso rhythm before. Usually, songs from that side would come with the “ekombi” rhythm, besides, there were very few songs from that region then because my people used to be ashamed of speaking their language.
Even when you greet them in Ibibio, they would answer you in English (laughs). Anyway, things have changed now, we are proudly “Akwa Ibomites” thanks to people like us who blazed the trail of singing gospel music in our local language and introducing cultural dressing and dancing into the video. Thanks also to our dynamic Chief Godswill Akpabio (CON0 who emphasizes the need to teach children to communicate in their local dialect and for people to be proud of their language.
What brought about the song “Akanam Nkwe”?
When it was first released, but my fans renamed it Akanam Nkwe so I flowed along with them). What actually gave birth to it was the break-up of my first marriage. The morning the song formed in my spirit was after reading the Bible 1st Corinthians 13 which enumerates the qualities of real love. I couldn’t help but compare what I was passing through with God’s kind of love.
God’s love never ends. I am fond of the exclamation “woyo” or “sai” which you could translate “ehyaah, ewo and ha!, so after reading that scripture, I exclaimed “sai”, because indeed, there is no comparison! It was during the day while driving in Surulere, that the song started to form in my spirit. The chorus line simply means “I have never seen, I have never heard the love that can compare with God’s love”. Then I expanded the body of the song to enumerate the qualities of God’s love which includes the fact that “it is unconditional, endless, full of compassion, not self-seeking, does not select who to love, does not love because of money, beauty, ability to bear children, good character etc”.
Today, the song has become an all-time favourite of the church, both locally and internationally. A fan of mine, who is a Praise/Worship leader in his church, told me that when he observes that the atmosphere of praise is dull, he would immediately bring in the song “Akanam Nkwe” to charge it; because when the people hear “woyoooo….” They are ready to shout “saiiiii” (she chuckles).
Princess, what are the challenges facing the existence of gospel music in Nigeria?
The major thing I see as a challenge to gospel music is its relegation to the background by some radio and television stations in Nigeria, because it is played majorly on Sundays. As a result, secular music now dominates the airwaves. Gospel music is not enjoying sufficient airplay in this country as it should unlike other African countries. I don’t know if this is a directive from Government or what? The result is that secular music is given more prominence on both radio and television and that automatically becomes the more “acceptable” music. When you keep listening to one type of music, pretty soon, you will find yourself singing along. Our children have no choice than to sing songs that have no moral contents and they feel that is the order of the day because they have no other options. Music videos are embalmed with hyper sexuality visuals with the guys fully clothed and the ladies with bra and pant – skimpily dressed, and lyrical contents reduced to vulgarity in most cases. Children are products of their environment, so when they begin to practice what they hear on radio and watch on television at very tender age whose fault is it? On Children’s Day this year, I was invited by a TV station to perform for the children who were between 5 to 12 years of age, I watched in amazement as the younger female children between 5 and 6 years, were wriggling their waists to the songs played by the DJ before I performed – just the way they see it on television. Don’t get me wrong, I do listen to secular music (of course that is the major music on air so I have no choice but to listen to it), but I have a choice to touch the dial of my television set and switch to something else if I do not like it. Same thing goes to the radio. So, why can’t gospel music and even Muslim music be played on a daily basis, let the people make their choice?
Has the relegation of gospel music prevented the religious crisis in this country?
One thing people do know is that a good song is a good song, anybody would buy it whether they are Christians or not. A lot of people bought the album of Midnight Crew because of the track “Igwe”, same thing with Frank Edward’s track “Mma Mma e” and “Oghene Do”. Up till today, exactly 30 years after I wrote the song “Things are getting better”, people still use it as a song of consolation and in the church, a song of praise. Same thing goes to my evergreen song “Akanam Nkwe” – a good song remains a good song!
The second reason is that the Gospel Artiste in Nigeria is not as well paid as the Secular Artiste but, we have more platforms than the Secular Artistes. There are more churches than you can imagine both home and abroad, and most of them organize one programme or the other; so all things being equal, the Gospel Artiste has weekly engagements, depending on how popular he/ she is, and you know what?…. at all, at all naim bad! However, I believe things would change for the better soon and our churches will treat us the same way they treat the foreign gospel artistes. You have graced many international stages with several Gospel acts, did you know you will go this far when you started? For where? God is just amazing!
I never even had any inkling that I would be a gospel singer. I am what you call grace personified! I had the most husky voice you can think of when I was a child. That was the major reason I loved singing jazz then because I listened more to jazz music when I was living with my aunt, so, even when I begun to perform in a Club, I did jazz music.
This went on until I had an encounter with Jesus as a teenager in 1984! When I say encounter, I mean real encounter where He appeared to me and showed me what he would use me to do if I give my life to him. Today, I have been to about 16 States in America including Hawaii, England, Germany, Poland, South Africa, DRC, Ghana, and almost all the major churches and upcoming ones in Nigeria, to minister in songs.
I have also performed in many corporate events and State events in Nigeria including Nigerian Navy annual get together, American Embassy Jazz night with Jazz Ambassadors, Cross River State Carnival music nights, annual Akwa Ibom State Carol nights, Rivers State Women’s events, annual Aso Villa thanksgiving to name a few.
How is it like managing your band, Saints Music Crew?
I have a 9-man band and a Manager. Some of them have been with me for almost 15 years because I treat them with respect and pay them well. That is what they do for a living. I pay them according to how much we are paid as a Band. I am not one of those sound track Musicians, in fact, I hate singing with sound track because it does not allow one to flow easily with the crowd. We get regular invitations to minister within and outside Nigeria. Not only in church o (laughs). Yes o!
What has been the most challenging moment of your career?
Majorly, it is my inability to get sponsors for my concerts. No one wants to sponsor gospel! I also still struggle to promote and market my works in this country because it is so expensive to promote. If you do not promote effectively, marketers would not accept to market your work. I am trusting God for the promotion of my latest work. I want my albums to reach people and I cannot only make sales only when I have a ministration somewhere. I have also had a lot of challenges which caused some setbacks on my finances.
One of it is my building at Alpha Beach, Lekki which was destroyed during that flood of 10th July 2011. I call it “Lagos tsunami” because it affected the whole of Lagos but worse at the beach areas. I had my studio there and I could not remove a pin when it happened, including my cars. I thank God that I had travelled abroad when it happened, otherwise, who knows if my life would have gone with the house as well. It took three weeks after the incident, before I could gain access to the street where my house was because everywhere in that axis was still flooded.
You are a United Nations Peace Ambassador, what has the experience been like?
I cannot begin to tell you how privileged and honoured I felt when I was nominated for that award. When I got the letter, I felt it was all these 419 people telling me I was nominated for the award, so I ignored it until one of the officials called. Imagine people addressing me as “Your Excellency”, (she laughs) the thing never enter body, that is why I use the title sparingly. I am writing a peace song which will be released next year by God’s grace.
What project are you working on now?
I have been shooting my videos and will begin to promote my new tracks “Nyafun Nyafun” and “Cannot Stop” this month as the Lord helps me. So fans should watch out for them.
You decided to go into Gospel music full time, when it was obscure and unlucrative, how was it then trying to be a ‘revolutionist’, changing the face of Gospel music in Nigeria?
Well, then I went into it because God called me to go all the way. I know I have a calling to Pastor but this was my first call. I could not have left a well paid job in First Bank to go into the unknown if I did not have an inward leading. Remember, I have been doing music from my teens, so naturally I continued when I was working in the bank but it didn’t work out. Banking hours were tedious and I could not combine work and music so, one had to give way.
I recall in those days when we had invitations to minister, I would go with my band (then we were 13) and 12 dancers. At the end of the day, no one would pay us. I had to be funding the band with my salary. Of course, you know that I could not keep up with that for long. My eyes opened when I travelled abroad and started relating with other gospel music artistes who taught me how to administer the Lord’s business.
Today, the story is different. The payment is still not up to our expectation and yes there are still those who feel that we should not charge fees because “it is a free gift”. I tell them the word of God is free but you have to buy a bible to read it. The gift of music is free, but the channel to communicate the gift to the world is very expensive. I know how much I pay to shoot just one video, not to talk about producing a full album. Now I have nine albums in all.
In your long years of ministering to people, which incidence really “wowed” your imaginations?
Several – one was when I travelled with a friend who is the Managing Partner of our NGO, Opal Awards to Poland for World Dancing Competition with children to represent Nigeria, and we happened to bump into some Nigerian student Doctors who invited us to their church the Sunday after the show, as it was African day. I was invited to sing and I sang some English songs.
This was not even an English speaking church. Suddenly, the Pastor asked if I could sing in our native dialect, and I felt, it would be too much for them to handle. I said, “well, I have a popular song in Nigeria which I wrote titled, Akanam nkwe”, to my amazement, they starting clapping and telling me that they knew it. To prove a point, one of the white people sang it in the best way she could and I was like “wow”.
Another one happened in South Africa where 10 armed teenagers entered a church I was ministering in at night in Port Elizabeth. It’s a long story, but they came to rob us at gun point, but the power of God hit them and they ended up giving their lives to Christ. I will not ever forget that incidence. Then I have also recorded a lot of healings taking place when I minister, that is why I know that there is power in anointed music. Music is much more than just singing, when it is spiritual music, you release the power of God.
With all you have achieved, are you totally fulfilled, are there still dreams you wish to fulfill?
I thank God for bringing me this far but I feel I haven’t really achieved much. I have unfulfilled dreams which I pray God to help me achieve. My major hindrance is finance or sponsorship, for the kind of projects I have in mind, but I believe that when there is life, there is hope.
Apart from music, what do you do?
I love fashion a lot and I am hoping to start my own clothing line soon. I also run a food delivery service – majorly our “Calabar” food. I am a very good cook. It started when people would come to my house in South Africa to eat, then they would wish they had such food in the refrigerator. I volunteered to cook for them at a cost. During the world cup in South Africa a lot of Nigerians enjoyed my cooking. When I came back to Nigeria, I continued. We have orders weekly but I look forward to when I could start a proper restaurant. Also, I write…..I have some unfinished books.
Are any of your children taking after you musically?

Yes, my son Richard is a great dancer. He has a group known as M.A.D-X Dance Crew. They have even featured in Nigeria’s Got Talent and perform annually in the Calabar Carnival. They also minister in dance in churches.

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I started acting while in primary school –Bridget Chigbufue

 Which movie shot you into the limelight?
Funnily, it was my very first soap opera where I played ‘Essien’, the bush Calabar girl, that brought me out. A lot of people saw it, it’s funny, and they loved it. That was how I started really. Then ‘Game Plan’ another movie, a lot of people referred to me because of the fame I got from that movie. Those are the two major movies that brought me into the limelight. Interestingly, ‘Game Plan’ is a production that is always aired in ‘Africa Magic’. You can imagine how many people watch ‘Africa Magic’. It’s crazy, we are getting better and stronger.
 What was your most challenging role so far?
I have been in movies and soaps; I think every role is different and challenging. That particular one I did where I played as a Calabar bush girl, I had to watch a lot of Calabar movies just to be able to act to reality, to be able to deliver the right accent for the character. She was supposed to be a bush Calabar girl as I said who couldn’t speak English well. I had to learn about it, watch so many movies that had Calabar intonations. I just had to learn it. I changed my L to R and my A to G, it was crazy. But it turned out right. Even in the ‘Game Plan’, I played the role of a bad girl. Every role has a weird challenge. But the idea is to beat that challenge, so as to deliver. So every production has been a challenging one for me.
 Which actor would you love to be paired to bring out your best in a romance role?
Truth is that there isn’t anyone in particular because you can never tell what goes on in a person’s mouth. There is really nobody that I have thought about.
 How was your growing up?
Growing up was very interesting and nice. I grew up in Lagos. It was at an estate, so we had kids playing up and down and going to the same school. We played downstairs and never forgot ‘Tales by Moonlight’ or ‘Super Ted’ as a child. I never forget all those games we used to play, ‘Twinkle-Twinkle’ and the rest of them. Those were the childhood days and everyday even when I’m down now as a grown up, I relive those moments. I would also never forget my secondary school days, I was a boarder all through and it was crazy. You know how it was junior girls being punished. It was interesting and it’s a moment I would never forget. And, of course, my three weeks camp in Lagos as a youth corps member. Lagos was an amazing place and it is still amazing. All these experiences have impacted in one way positively in my life, especially in school when I used to do stage dramas and all that. It was an amazing experience. I mean that I started acting on stage right from primary school and it has now become something else for me.
 Who do you aspire to be like in Nollywood and Hollywood?
As I said, I’m an actor and at present I have so many people I’m aspiring to be like. Rita Dominic is one of them. She has tried her best. I like Stephanie Okereke Linus for her carriage and strength. She is a strong woman. I admire Joke Silva, she has an amazing diction, loving home and marriage. I love the fact that she has been married for so many years in the industry and there is nothing wrong and they are still going strong. Mercy Johnson is a versatile actress and I love her for that. There are lots of up-and-coming actresses that are also amazing. I can’t really mention all their names. For Hollywood, I love Angela Basat, she is an amazing actress. I love Charlie Sterone, she has a strong personality and she carries her character really strongly. I love the weirdness that it brings along from Jenifer Armston, she is crazy and the will to want to defeat every crazy thing you have is amazing when she does it. Then for presenting, I still love the late Joan Rivers. She was witty.
In entertainment industry, fashion and lifestyle, it’s kind of like my main thing in presenting. As a TV Presenter, I love her. I also love Tricia. I like her down-to-earth mannerisms even doing her show. It’s one that I think every show in Nigeria both the TV should have…an opportunity to be down-to-earth, to be able to say things the right way and to be able to criticise or scold whoever that is on set even when the person is wrong. Do it because the person needs to hear the truth. Only the truth should be on air. That is what she does. Oprah Winfrey is an inspirational woman who has given and built a lot out of her career. I would always like to be like her when I grow up.
 Can you relive your debut on movie?
It was in 2011 in a movie entitled ‘Open Heavens’. I got that role through an audition in Benin. I had finished school and I was awaiting youth service. I was good, he liked the way I interpreted that role. I’m glad that he gave me that opportunity. Lancelot the movie producer also put me through in some other things that we needed as a screen actor. It was a nice experience and I would never forget that one thing he did for me. It kicked up my acting career and that was even before ‘The Next Movie Star’.
 What if your husband in future asks you to quit acting?
I would oblige him, he is my husband but we would come to terms with something. There has to be some understanding before I get married. He should understand what I was doing. If he should ask me to quit, it has to be for some really strong reasons that I can’t possibly refuse. We would have to talk about that.
 What are the qualities of your ideal man?
My ideal man might not always be available but he should be tall. He should be fair-complexioned and humble. He should be generous, considerate and tolerant. He should love God, I mean someone who can impact on me and I on him. Someone who gives the best advice and he is business-oriented. He should be handsome because I’m not ugly so that when I wake up and look at you in the morning, I would be happy (laughs loudly).
 What puts you off a man?

Pretension and lies. If I discover these two things in you, I would put my two hands on my head and run.

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‘Determination helps marriage work’

‘As far as Mrs Tata Toe- Ekechi, an industrial mathematician turned banker is concerned, every couple going into the marriage institution should be determined to make it work. “I was determined to make success of the marriage and God is really crowning my effort with success. I believe determination on the sides of both individuals involved always work,” 
Marriage is not one of the easiest institutions to deal with. How have you been able to deal with the challenges of yours?
As a mother of three and a wife of a man who is ever on the move, it has been God that has been helping me to succeed this far. There were series of challenges especially at those early years, but God and my determination to remain married no matter the situation and the condition has kept me on.
I put God first in everything and I guess that’s why it has been possible for me to overcome my troubles even to appeal to my in-laws. I was determined to make success of the marriage and God is really crowning my effort with success. I think with God at the background of my marriage and my determination to make it work, my home has been able to stay till today. I believe determination on the sides of both individuals involved always work.
Do you think in-laws are responsible for broken homes?
In some cases, yes. Most wives are faced with all kinds of issues with their in-laws, in some cases, it is the mother inlaw, in others, it is either the man’s brother, sister or both. And where the wife is not accepted, it is only a matter of time for the home to break. The reason is that the man is used to his family and will always feel troubled to separate from them.
There are also cases where the problem comes from the wife’s side. In most cases, where the woman is financially more comfortable than the man and this is known to her family, they may push her against her husband. There many homes that have become broken because of this. That is where determination plays very important role in any marriage.
If the couples are determined to stay in the marriage, no turbulence can separate them. And determination cannot stand alone; it must go with God and godliness. If you will pray well and take godly steps, the storm, no matter how strong will be put abbey.
Is it possible for a wife to satisfy her inlaws?
Terrible and difficult as most in-laws are, I tell you with God; it is possible to please them. I won’t tell you that I am married to a family where there are no challenges; we have our own little quarrels but we keep finding a way of settling them. I look at my in-laws as my own and try as much as I can to overlook bitter incidents. Like I said, I was determined to stay in my marriage, so, I believe I don’t have anywhere to go, and so, I stay.. My mother was always drumming it into our hears that we had no room left for us in our father’s house once we get married and it sunk into my consciousness. So, I tried to do all to remain in marriage as much as I can and God has been my helper. I apologise for any wrong on my part.
There are times when my husband would say look, you are my wife, you are not supposed to do this to my people, I would go there to apologise. I was not even aware that my husband holds these things to his heart and like I told you, I could not hold back tears when he was talking about them in the public on the day he held a birthday bash specially for me.. I have to tell you that marriage has not been that easy but I just thank God for His teachings and His words for they have taken me this far.
With a simple heart, a heart that is ready to obey God and her husband, a wife will win her in-laws to her side. Just don’t see yourself as being above them, or better than them. Respect them also if not for anything but for the love you have for your husband and your desire to stay in the marriage to take care of your children.
You said your husband is always on the move. How then have you been coping with his kind of person?
I think my ability to come to terms with his way of life and why it has to be so has generally been helpful. He grew up in Ajegunle and he had always dreaded going back to slum. Since I know him, he is always working and hardly rest. If you ask him why? He would simply say “ I don’t want to go back to where I was before. There is no money and I have a lot of dependants. I have to work hard to take these people to where they would be able to stand on their own. I don’t want to see poverty anymore.”
So, he had kept on working and I know he has achieved a lot in this direction. Being a banker means that you are frequently away from the house. How do you balance the two? The job of a banker and that of a mother are two different things. You cannot compare the two of them. When I am at the office, I do my job and once I am at home, I face my family.
No woman is exonerated for blaming her broken home on the kind of job she has. No one expects your home front to suffer just because of your kind of work. You have to be on your toes all the time and I thank God that He has given me the grace to balance the two: keeping the home going and not lacking in my job. I make sure my kids, and even my husband, are okay.
What is your advice to young female professionals out there who see marriage as a way of servitude?
I think with my experience, I would advise them not to see marriage as a way of caging a woman. Even some men feel so. I think once God gives you the favour and chance to get married, no matter how educated you are or big you are, you should be happy and get set to enjoy yourself. There is nothing like being married. I have seen women who are more successful than their male counterparts or their husbands, but there is nothing like being with a man. There are many of things that go with it. When you go out or in your office, functions or anywhere, when you say you are Mrs so and so, people respect you.
They can say it is because you are someone’s wife that I am leaving you. But if you are not married, the respect is not there; even younger people would talk to you anyhow because they know you are single. So my advice is that once these guys start coming, they should give them the chance and when they come, we should deal with them with a simple heart. When a woman sees herself above a man just because of her position in the office, she won’t be able to keep her marriage. Pride, we all know goes before a downfall.
On a lighter mood, do you pick your husband’s call or read his text messages?
(Laughter) You want me to leave my children now? No. I have done it before and it didn’t feel good at the end of the day. So, I advise myself to desist from doing that to prevent myself from a heart attack Even when he ask me to pick it, I would say no. I don’t also read his text messages. He is a man. Even if he is a cripple, women will still go after him not to talk of a man like him. My mother says what you don’t see or hear can not disturb you.
What do you think is the best approach to a blissful marriage?
You see, every family has their own peculiarities. Coming together to dialogue and discuss what the trouble is what couples don’t do. I mean bridging the gap of communication is very important. Besides, two captains, they say, cannot run a ship so, I don’t like it when wives want to be at par with their husbands. Respecting your man, no matter how big your status is will keep him on your side always. Since I I have been married, my husband has always been winning. And that is what my pastor said: allow him to win, leave the rest to God. If you say you want to boss a man, the next day, you would be outside that home.

Even if you adopt any charm, be assured that it will run of its potency one day. The aftermath then will not be palatable. If you want your home to stay till death do you part, you have to give in to the man. A good wife is she who is calm when things are hot but after the coast seems clear, she takes her time to explain things gently to her husband. You don’t shout when your husband is shouting or try to rub shoulders with him like we have said. Even if you earn more than he does, you cannot become the man of the house. In our culture, a man is a man, no matter what. This is what I do. I don’t preach what I don’t practice.

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